It’s surreal now what we both have been through. It’s almost as if the 5 years since you arrived were all for.. this? Towards the end, I know you were different. I could see you were gone, I saw things but I feel you also could have .. I’m not sure. I think maybe we both tried the hardest or I feel /think I did. I did not have malicious intent over you, it simply broke my heart. I believe you see your world a little different, I think I can say this now because I’m 28. Fuck shit feels a certain way at that age, and you’re smart, but you are just 16. You’ll maybe know what I mean when you turn 28 and I’m 41, my parents will be 66. They will either be alive, my dad might be in prison, and I might be married with kids. And that’s 12 years from now, 2 years past a decade. I don’t think I’ll ever forget 2020-2025. I love you, I understand the delicacy of these past 4 months. It broke me too. “Nusrat comes from a nuclear family”, Sumayah fuck it, remembering hurts more than not having it. It’s as equally bad, experiencing and then it being robbed from you.

We forever live in the world created by the merging of our parents

I hope you merge yours full of love

Prosperity

And know I will always wish u the best

I’m just a little shocked right now

I realize now it was either or, never you and dad together.

But whether you have a certain view of these past 5 years, I think you do not see it all. I tried my best to support you, and you were very chaotic. Unpredictable, and you were also not completely honest. For what you are, I think I tried my best. So get off your fucking high horse and stop telling fucking devany all these crazy things things no manches tú también como eres güey estás bien pendeja no te pases de verga.

Anyway, this is your older sister writing to you whether you like it not

You fucked up and you got me fucked

You hurt my feelings

And I’m coming for your ass I swear

And like I said, it seems you can forget your mother and brothers

So one day I hope you come crawling back.

I was good to u

Loyal

Caring

Soft

Vulnerable