I wish you had stayed.

My favourite part of going food shopping with my dad for the first time ever (he’s 54 and never been food shopping) was when we reached the banana section. We needed 5 and they were all bunches of 6. Obviously I picked up a bunch and just ripped off one banana and put the bunch in the trolley and the single banana back on the shelf and turned back to my dad to find a look of PURE HORROR on his face as he quickly rushed up to me and said “Can you do that?!” “Uh yeah that’s what people do...” And after a thoughtful moment he looked sadly back at that lone banana on the shelf and said “But....what will happen to that banana now?” And I’ve never seen a grown man show such genuine concern over the wellbeing of a banana before.

All I can hear from my parent’s room is my mum screeching ‘we can’t sleep all the way up there!!’ followed by my mum and dad coming out of their room carrying a mattress past my doorway and then another one and then another one. My dad thought it would be cool to pile up every mattress we own and sleep on it. He’s 54.

Last night my dad went camping for the first time. This morning we got a text from him saying ‘I’ve just cooked my breakfast in washing up liquid’ I don’t think he’s cut out for this camping thing.