bun.

Click here to buy 🔗（link not visible）

This is literally how it begins gotta love this production’s changes (it doesn’t make sense at the beginning by by the end you’ll realise it’s genius)

Also Serkan Kaya Serkan Kaya Serkan Kaya

2010 Essen Germany prod is very heavy on the Throuple™️ elements, more akin to 2000 JCS than Broadway revival 2012. Judas’ first interaction with Mary is (I kid you not) pelvic thrusting her into Jesus’ arms before touching her chest and proceeding to wipe his hand off on his shirt in disgust 🤦🏻‍♀️ Another interesting factor is how SHAMELESS Jesus and Mary are with their relationship, they basically can’t go a full minute without dry-humping in front of the disciples. Essen also does a scene where Judas forcibly kisses Mary to make Jesus jealous, which I’ve only scene in a couple of productions (but always reads peak douche)

Lemme just say that watching Serkan Kaya as Judas launched him into my top five, he’s a pitiful wet bag man with a healthy dose of dickwad (which happens to be my favorite flavor) AND his aesthetic invokes Josh Young’s Judas if he were an edgy asshole (think Bluedas + Jeromdas)

The backdrops were absolutely stunning and ornate, there seemed to be a fine-arts/museum theme. At the end of TJMD the High Priests congregate with Judas and hand him what looks to be a Polaroid (Also Ponytail Annas weeeee)

Judas gets dogpiled by signs during Simon Zealots and Kelsey Grammer Jesus has to come and lift them all off him 🥺

Other than the Swedish prod, this is definitely the most chaotic JCS performance I’ve seen, rife with the wackiness of European musical theatre. Another similarity to Swedish JCS was Jesus in a Shopping Cart™️, except this time He chucked it to the ground before bodying a sexy Santa 😬 I’ve came to the (rather obvious) conclusion that The Temple was actually a reference to Capitalist greed all along..

We need to talk about Mary!!! Peti van der Velde is gorgeous and has a perfect voice, no complaints there! After IDKHTLH she falls asleep with JC on the couch, only to get woken up by Judas and a handful of cards to the face (He’s the worst jdjzkdhdizsk I love him) Peti is one of the rare Marys that can really throw it back, granting her extra points in my book 😎

As you can see above there’s quite a bit of chemistry between Judas and the priests.. They alternate between fondling him and tossing him around like a hot potato. At the end of blood money Caiaphas dresses Judas up in his hilariously ill-fitting suit and tie (the latter of which functions as a metaphor for the noose)

“Get up off the floor” Annas says as he pushes Judas back onto the floor 🤣

Caiaphas’ actor is named *deep breath* Gesungen von Heribert Feckler, Gespielt von Wolfgang Gruber (Which might be the most German name I’ve ever heard)

I’m sure everyone’s familiar with the infamous scene of Jesus and Judas throwing hands during Last Supper, which reads as both violent and incredibly intimate.

Post-arrest the priests immediately take the opportunity to rip off Jesus’ shirt and expose his hott bod, and Annas climbs on JC’s shoulders (which was something I didn’t know I needed) In a heart-wrenching moment, Judas is restrained on the verge of tears while Jesus gets escorted away.

Tally of times Judas gets his ass beat: 4

Somebody in the comments mentioned that Pilate looks like Putin and now I physically cannot see anything else- the fur coat and smoke machines add an air of tyrannical mystique ✨

Herod is simultaneously a national treasure and Batman supervillain, PLUS HE MAKES A F-ING MONTY PYTHON REFERENCE 😱

Mary and Simon are herded in blindfolded and hogtied during CWSAP, while JC gets the shit kicked out of him (the music is very off-putting considering the situation)

Annas mockingly wipes away Judas’ tear, Caiaphas re-enacts the kiss. Both priests are very touchy-feely and oop! It’s hot potato time again X’D Prior to his death, Judas cuts his own imaginary crown of thorns as his sanity slowly circles down the drain.

IDKHTLH reprise sounds more like an Islamic Call to Prayer than the typical screamfest + some interesting echoing effects make it one of the most unique and artistic renditions I’ve seen thus far 🤩

During the flogging scene everybody leaves a bloody handprint, my favorite part involves a random granny clapping in the background jovially while JC gets his ass handed to him once more. Pilate then rubs his hands all over Jesus’ bare chest as he sings “I wash my hands of your demolition” (Pilate x Jesus shippers I see you 👀 )

Granny (who is now my favorite character) points up in awe as the Cross descends and Judas jumps up out his trapdoor like the little sussy baka he is. The Superstar backup dancers are essentially Dolly Parton lookalikes and Judas has his hair slicked back, finally coming into his full douchesona 💅

PLOT TWIST: Jesus wasn’t actually Jesus?!?! Somebody else please try to explain the doppelgänger who got hung on the cross, I’ve been typing this review all day and my brain hurts 😣

On the seventh day: they all had a sick dance party!! Jesus tips his crown of thorns like a fedora, high fives Judas and they moonwalk into the sunset together. Mary and Peter reappear intact, the only person who’s not having a good time is Putin Pilate, who’s slumped over on the left hand side of the stage (again someone please help me with this, I’m sooo confused 😭)

Serkan Kaya does his trademark cute conductor impression and Jesus recites the spoken lines from John Nineteen Forty-One, which Judas then translates into German. The curtain closes.

Although there was no weak link in this production (Henrik Wagner sang a divine Gethsemane) the standout performance for me was hands down Mr. Kaya’s Judas. His vocals alone are delicious, exponentially elevated by hella acting chops and charisma. If Blue!das’ fursona is a lamb and Jerome!das’ a weasel, then Kaya!das is a rabid dog with wild, self destructive and unhinged tendencies that make him hard (but not impossible) to love. Seeing him flinch away from Jesus’ touch after multiple rounds of abuse solidified the impression, darn tootin’ I’ll be posting hurt/comfort/whump on ao3 about this dysfunctional pairing.

I’m realizing now this is mostly just an ode to Serkan Kaya’s Judas, but who am I kidding he stole the show

Remember that this playlist exists!

And if it's a bit overwhelming, here's a playlist with my personal favorites

never gonna stop thinking about the four times this riff is played in jesus christ superstar