mike’s soft lemonade

mike’s tender lemonade

mike’s not to me not if it’s you lemonade

me @ me immediately after almost every decision: oh bitch what the fuck

being a preteen girl is so weird i remember one time when i was 11 a friend wouldn’t talk to me for a week because she was mad that the ritual we did at a slumber party to summon the jonas brothers into her dreams didn’t work for her but i had a nightmare about them chasing me through a dark airport

Guys I just realized the last supper was the first murder mystery dinner!!!

My Roman Catholic parents did not find this as funny and thought provoking as I did

The fact that she’s got a cheesy smile on her face makes this 100000% funnier

taylor swift’s only song themes are “i’m a terrible person to be in a relationship with” and “people hate me for no reason”

fuck you feetpicdealer

they hated jesus when he told the truth too

I cannot physically roll my eyes harder at gender neutral bathroom signs that jerk off their own wokeness by being like “whatever just wash your hands :)” and then have a picture of a mermaid and a lumberjack and an alien and a godzilla or some shit. If you’re a real ally put your money where your mouth is and guillotine Mike Pence.

“If you’re a real ally put your money where your mouth is and guillotine Mike Pence” is possibly the greatest sentence i’ve read so far this year

Please give these kids a chance to get on their feet before you throw them out on the streets. Who wants to bet extending foster care to age 21 would decrease the percentage of ex foster kids who become homeless by a lot?

i know in some places foster care ends at 16

I am so sorry you are an American

It's ok

No, it’s not

Man, shut up and go to the closest Civil War Museum and take a 14 inch boot your ancestors wore and shove it up your hole while saluting them instead of embarrassing yourself on my post

but if i don’t hyperfixate i’ll get depressed and die

*runs out of hyperfixations* oh god oh fuck *lies in bed feeling empty and useless for 48 hours*

no cropped boomer meme will ever make me laugh harder than he just sold rice