The Real Adam Sandler

Ain't my circus but I would know my monkeys anywhere.

maybe this time picking at Textures on my skin will lead to being silky smooth

bleeding

money beyond ypur wildist dreams

one hundred and seventy dollars

Do They ID u to buy snacks

bread so tasty. bread so nice. toast it once. toast it twice.

toast three times. it turns to coal. burning toast is not my goal.

remember when teachers would tell you to fold paper hamburger or hotdog style. kind of sounds like some fake shit but just another example of burger centric american thinking

non americans in the tags doubting if this is true. you think burger is a fucking joke to us??

you can’t believe what you think about yourself after sundown and you can’t believe what you think about yourself on your period and you can’t believe what you think about yourself when you’re hungry and you can’t believe what you think about yourself when you’re tired, the only time you can believe what you think about yourself is the split second after you’ve made someone laugh but only if it’s something other than “i should be a standup comedian”