Buffy, and Angel, Quoted

[Tampered beer has turned Buffy and others into cavemen]

Cave-Buffy: Buffy want beer.

Giles: You can't have beer.

Cave-Buffy: Want beer!

[Xander is practicing to be a bartender by listening to Buffy's problems]

Xander: Ooh, then unload 'em right here, baby. Rough day? You wanna talk about it?

[pause]

Xander: Shutting up now.

Willow: I'm pregnant by my stepbrother who'd rather be with my best friend. And he's left me with no place to live. No food except for this bottle of Wild Turkey which I drank all up.

[Xander looks confused]

Willow: That was me being tanked and friendless for ya.

Xander: I'm the new bartender over at the pub. Got my lighter, my rag, my empathy face.

Willow: Aren't you too young to be a bartender?

Xander: Au contraire, mon frère.

Buffy: Mon frère means brother.

Xander: Mon girl-frère. Behold.

[holds up a fake ID]

Willow: I don't believe this is entirely on the up and up.

Xander: What gives it away?

Willow: Looking at it.

[Tampered beer has turned Buffy and others into cavemen.]

Cave-Buffy: Want beer. Like beer. Beer good.

Xander: Beer bad. Bad, bad beer. What the hell am I saying? Buffy, go home... and go to bed.

Cave-Buffy: [childlike] Say 'bye.'

Xander: Bye.

Wesley: A woman fitting Faith's description was involved--however, not arrested.

Cordelia: She charm her way out?

Wesley: No. Apparently, she managed to break a policeman's jaw with his own handcuffs before she disappeared into the night.

Angel: It ever occur to you this might be more fun for me?

Lindsey: To make a long story less long, I think for services rendered, we can get you off.

[Faith throws herself against Angel screaming.]

Faith: I'm evil! I'm bad! I'm evil! Do you hear me? I'm bad! Angel, I'm bad!

[She begins to sob, grabbing Angel's shirt and shaking him.]

Faith: I'm ba-ad. Do you hear me? I'm bad! I'm bad! I'm bad. Please. Angel, please, just do it.

[Wesley runs out towards them.]

Faith:Angel please, just do it. Just do it. Just kill me. Just kill me.

[Angel embraces her and they sink to the ground.]

Angel: Shh. It's all right. It's okay. I'm here. I'm right here. Shh.

Lindsey: While we're on the subject, I remember you throwing one of my clients through a window. Killed him, if I'm not mistaken.

Angel: Yes. I seem to remember. The window was just about that size. Too bad the body burned up before it hit the ground. I might have needed a good lawyer.

Lindsey: I'm sorry, we only handle a certain class of clientele.

Angel: Help me track her down. I want you two to check police reports - beatings, killings - anything within the last week, possibly near bus stations and bars. And then you make yourselves scarce. I don't want to give her any free targets.

Wesley: You've been targeted by a psychotic! I'm certainly not going to run and hide.

Cordelia: I like the plan where I'm scarce.

Wesley: We've got to band together. Strength in numbers!

Willow: I'm sorry you're feeling all blech-y. But we'll get together with Buffy another time, sometime soon. I think you'll really like her.

Tara: She's not your friend.

Willow: I may have overestimated the 'you liking her' factor.

Tara: No, no, I mean, I don't... I-I don't think she's... her.

Willow: You lost me.

Anya: So what you're saying is that everything's fine?

Giles: Um, yes.

Faith [in Buffy's body]: [about Faith] Cops took her off my hands about an hour ago. Poetic justice.

Anya: How's that?