BUDDHA IS MY BAZOOKA

That head,

that bald head,

that bald balding head.

Even if it doesn't move,

doesn't make a sound,

doesn't do anything—

it makes you watch your back,

keeps you on your toes,

forces you to look busy.

It tells you that you can't rest,

can't be complacent,

can't ever make a mistake. Ever.

It makes you believe that you are stuck here.

That you are not good enough.

That you will never be free.

Not as long as you see

that head,

that bald head,

Kung Fu Cooking Girls, Shibuyach0

I was so so sooooo sleepy at the time

that I couldn't get out of bed

even after a hundred tries.

At the same time, I was also so hungry

that I kept chewing the southeastern corner of the pillowcase

of the pillow that my head was plopped on.

Worst of all, I had to do both number one and two so badly

that I could have exploded right there on the bed

had I not been holding my breath at 11-second intervals.

So no, I don't remember you coming in

asking me to send the revised AVP within the day

so you can deal with the angry bovine terrorists