Bubblestheninjapuff

It's rude. You're making someone take their time to read something you couldn't bother to write. You're telling them they were so unimportant you couldn't be bothered to actually take the time to say something yourself. And frankly, you're lying about it while you're at it.

Then a day before the date there's another text like "hey you still have my stuff, right? Yeah you have them, I'd know if you'd have returned them, I keep tabs on everything. Return them tomorrow. :)"

And on the day they're due it's just this picture

Analyzing: Cute —>

Cute = [Human Infant] —>

Evolutionary Pressure = Prepare [Human Infant] to Survive —>

Evolution as a Social Species = Communication Essential to Survival

Conclusion: Teach [Human Infant] to Communicate via Speech —>

Production: Enunciated Vocal Sounds and Exaggerated Vowels to Encourage Speech in [Human Infant] —>

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

The average woman has periods for 40 years, give or take, so at around 12 periods per year, that would be 480 eggs laid over her years of fertility.

Presumably they hatch into babies? There's no way on earth a woman is going to want to care for that many babies/hatchings, and is sitting on the eggs required as well? Is she ever able to leave the house or, you know, get her damn body and life back?