--Kitten--

Since when!? 

For the last few weeks, I’ve been seeing FEMI-NAZIS all over Twitter and Tumblr making claims that being a submissive woman is anti-feminist.

AND IT’S BULLSHIT. 

Being a submissive woman does not “contribute to the misogynistic ideals of the anti-feminist patriarch”. And to believe it does only shows a lack of education concerning the BDSM community. 

So let’s talk about this:

Let’s talk about why female submissives are not traitors to their own cause so we can put this to rest once and for all. And for the sake of simplicity, all references to submissives/Dominants for the remainder of this post will be in reference to females/males respectively. 

A TRUE submissive does not submit to every Dominant. A submissive CHOOSES to submit to one (or several if in a polyamorous relationship) Dominant WITHIN BOUNDARIES THAT SHE AGREES TO. She does not allow herself to be a doormat for all men. 

THE SUBMISSIVE HOLDS MOST OF THE CONTROL IN THE RELATIONSHIP and the Dominant holds her as an EQUAL, NOT INFERIOR.

Again, she agrees to the boundaries of her submission and a TRUE DOMINANT RESPECTS THE SUBMISSIVE’S BOUNDARIES and does not overstep these. 

I know MANY “vanilla” men who abuse, manipulate, and sexually assault and rape women. However, EVERY TRUE DOMINANT I HAVE EVER MET IS A STRONG ADVOCATE FOR WOMEN’S RIGHTS!

True Dominant men understand that submission is a GIFT, not something they automatically have a right to. 

So just in case you didn’t get the point I’m making here:

SUBMISSIVE WOMEN ARE NOT ANTI-FEMINISTS!

DOMINANT MALES SHOULD NOT BE AUTOMATICALLY LABELLED AS MISOGYNISTS! 

DOMINANT MALES TEND TO BE PERFECT ADVOCATES FOR WOMEN’S RIGHTS!  

Since when!? 

For the last few weeks, I’ve been seeing FEMI-NAZIS all over Twitter and Tumblr making claims that being a submissive woman is anti-feminist.

AND IT’S BULLSHIT. 

Being a submissive woman does not “contribute to the misogynistic ideals of the anti-feminist patriarch”. And to believe it does only shows a lack of education concerning the BDSM community. 

So let’s talk about this:

Let’s talk about why female submissives are not traitors to their own cause so we can put this to rest once and for all. And for the sake of simplicity, all references to submissives/Dominants for the remainder of this post will be in reference to females/males respectively. 

A TRUE submissive does not submit to every Dominant. A submissive CHOOSES to submit to one (or several if in a polyamorous relationship) Dominant WITHIN BOUNDARIES THAT SHE AGREES TO. She does not allow herself to be a doormat for all men. 

THE SUBMISSIVE HOLDS MOST OF THE CONTROL IN THE RELATIONSHIP and the Dominant holds her as an EQUAL, NOT INFERIOR.

Again, she agrees to the boundaries of her submission and a TRUE DOMINANT RESPECTS THE SUBMISSIVE’S BOUNDARIES and does not overstep these. 

I know MANY “vanilla” men who abuse, manipulate, and sexually assault and rape women. However, EVERY TRUE DOMINANT I HAVE EVER MET IS A STRONG ADVOCATE FOR WOMEN’S RIGHTS!

True Dominant men understand that submission is a GIFT, not something they automatically have a right to. 

So just in case you didn’t get the point I’m making here:

SUBMISSIVE WOMEN ARE NOT ANTI-FEMINISTS!

DOMINANT MALES SHOULD NOT BE AUTOMATICALLY LABELLED AS MISOGYNISTS! 

DOMINANT MALES TEND TO BE PERFECT ADVOCATES FOR WOMEN’S RIGHTS!  

I completed some major changes to the Library For Kinksters. Here is the update…

Aftercare

Aftercare 101

Aftercare For Dominants

Coping With Emotional Subdrop

Dom Drop

How To Make A Sub Drop Kit

Online Aftercare

sub/Dom Space, sub/Dom Drop and Aftercare

Subdrop and Aftercare

Subspace and Aftercare

Consent

Consent & BDSM

Guide to Consent

Doms, Daddies & Masters

7 Fundamental Characteristics of A Daddy Dom

12 Characteristics Of An Ideal Submissive

25 Things Daddies Should Do For Their Littles

30 Rules For A Modern Gentleman

45 Things A Girl Wants, But Won’t Ask For

50 Rules for Daddies

100 Sweet Things You Can Do For Your Princess

101 Things To Do To Make Your Slave Feel Owned (loved)

Alternative Names For “Daddy”

Alternative Domme Titles

Aspects Of Control

Asserting Ownership - Rules

Daddy Up!

Defining A Daddy Dom

Dominants Need Training Also

Fun Tasks Daddies Can Give Their Littles

Help For New Doms

How (and Why) To Go Down On Your Submissive

How To Be A Good Dominant

How to Find a Submissive

Knowing when to be a Dom and when to be her Man

New to DDLG - A Daddy Dom

Observations On Doms By A Submissive

So you want to be a Dom?

So Your Girlfriend Wants You To Dominate her

Some Little Rules All Daddies Should Know

The Dom Commandments

Things for Daddies to Keep in Mind

What Being A Dom Is About - A Submissive’s Perspective

What does the title Daddy mean?

What is a Daddy Dom?

What is a Daddy Dom Mentor?

What It Means To Be A Dominant

What Makes A Good Dominant

Littles, Subs & Slaves

6 Questions Every Submissive Needs To Ask Her Potential Dominant

7 Common Types of Submissives

10 Tips For Living With A Sadist

10 Things A Dominant Needs From A Submissive

11 Red Flags Of An Abusive Dominant

26 Baby Girl Jobs

50 Things You Can Do For Your Daddy

A Bottom’s Responsibility

A Dominant’s Advice To His Submissive

A Man Who Knows You…

A Good Dom vs. A Bad Dom

Acid Test For Subs

Ask A Million And One Questions

Attraction to DD/lg: A Little’s Perspective

Baby girl or little? A brief introduction

Care and feeding of Daddies

Characteristics Of A Good Daddy

Coaxing The Daddy Dom Out Of Your Partner

Feminist Submissive

Finding Your Dominant

Good Rules For Middles and Littles To Live By

Guide For Young Newbie Sub Girls

How a Dom Behaves Shows How He Will Behave Towards You.

“How do I find Daddy?” A guide to help you safely find the Daddy you’re looking for.

How Does A Submissive Ask for Something from Their Dominant?

How To Find A Dom

How to Take Proper Care of Your Dom

I Solemnly Swear I Will Not Do This To Daddy

Novice Submissives

Physical abuse of littles - it is never OK

Signs Of A Fake ‘Dominant’

Stuff no one tells you about submission, until the spreader bar is on and you are trapped.

Submissives, Learning to Trust Your Instincts

Submissive Pride

Submissive Traits - Intelligence

Things My Dream Daddy Would Say To Me

What is a Little?

When newbie subs, with asinine “doms,” need to run away.

Why I call him Daddy

Your Rights As A Submissive

Long Distance Relationships

10 Ways To Survive A Long Distance Relationship

Getting The Most Out Of A Long Distance Relationship

How To Make Long Distance Relationships Work

Long Distance Relationships - Tools To Cope

Long Distance Relationships (LDR) Contemplation: Sticking with plans

The Long Distance D/s Relationship

Mental Health

BDSM practitioners ‘healthier and less neurotic’ than ‘vanilla’ peers

Body image & BDSM

How to Get Over Feeling Sad

Is BDSM normal?

Love your Vulva – a self-esteem guide to your sensitive bits!

Managing bipolar disorder in a D/S relationship

Meditation And Mindfulness

On Cutting

Steps For Letting Go of Painful Memories

Things to Do When You’re Anxious, Scared, or Just Need a Distraction

Tips for Recovering from Codependency

What Are Anxiety Disorders? (Infographic)

Why Do I Feel Unloveable?

Relationships

10 Habits of Happy Couples

10 Top Communication Mistakes

10 Types of Emotional Manipulators

12 Relationship Truths We Often Forget

50 Best Ways To Say “I Love You”

BDSM Breakups: All Good Things Must Come to an End

BDSM: Control Goes Both Ways

Collars and Collaring - A Personal Perspective

Communication Is Key

Concept Daddy Dom/Little Girl Relationships

Daddy Doms and their little girls

Daddy Doms, Baby Girls, Little Boys And More

Date Night In A Jar

DD/lg In Public

D/s and Domestication

Factors That Make A Relationship

Finding Love When You Least Expect It

Finding Others with Common (Adult) Interests

How To Be Present In Your Relationships

How To Build A Healthy Relationship

How To Get What You Want In A Relationship

How To Know When You’ve Found “The One”

How To Take Your Relationship To The Next Level

Importance Of Confidence In RelationshipsImportance Of Trust In A Relationship

Key Ingredients of a Happy and Healthy Relationship

Needy Girls Are Daddy Dom Bait

Relationship Advice To Follow, And What To Ignore

Searching for a D/s partner?

Self-Fulfilling Prophecies In Relationships

Stop Arguments Before They Start

The Rewards of a Submissive

Types Of Relationship Insecurity

Well-Balanced Power Exchange Relationship

What Is Real Love?

When He Doesn’t Call

Why Love Makes A Night Of Kink Even Better

Safety

Another life ruined because of the morality police

Bondage Basic Safety: Crops, Paddles & Bondage!

Kinks, Risks, How To And Why Sometimes You Shouldn’t

Limits in BDSM

What is Emotional Abuse?

Self Improvement

10 Tips for Creating a Happier Life

10 Steps To Self Care

10 Ways To Be Happy

10 Truths To Live By

Guaranteed Ways To Be More Attractive

How to be Yourself

How To Deal With Your Enemies

How To Ignore Haters

How to Recognize a Toxic Friend

How to Stop Being a People Pleaser

Slut Shaming Explained

Tips for Healing a Broken Heart

What are the Signs of a Jealous Friend?

Sex

50 Cunnilingus Tips from Women

Basics of Breath Play

D/s or Kinky Sex?

Fetishes Explained

How To Make A Girl Squirt

How To Tell Your Son About Sex

Intersection of BDSM and Queer Heterosexuality

Sensual Biting

Sex: Myths & Stereotypes

Sex: Practical Details

Sex: Pregnancy and Birth Control

So You Want To Try Anal? A Practical Guide For Women

Squirting Educational Video

Squirting Notes

Toys

Advice on Dildos and Buttplugs

BDSM on a budget

Bondage Rope: How To Choose Yours (And More)

Training

10 Considerations for Inexperienced Subs

30 Things You Can Do For Your Human Kitten

40 Very Important DD/lg Facts

Age Play: A Short Guide

BDSM for Beginners: Safe and Affordable Play

DEFINED: SSC (Safe, Sane & Consensual) & RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink)

Etiquette in BDSM Part 1

Etiquette in BDSM Part 2

Exploring the D/s Lifestyle: Part 1 - Beginnings

Exploring the D/s Lifestyle: Part 2 - The Dominant Mind

Glossary of BDSM Terms

Guide To Blood Play

Guide To Bruising

Guide To Talking Dirty

Guide To Wax Play

How Do I Get Started In BDSM?

How to Make a Blanket Fort/Cuddle Nest

How To Make A Comfort Box

Introduction To BDSM

Newbie’s Guide To Vaginal Fisting

Punishments in BDSM Relationships

Red Flags For Online BDSM Relationships

Some Thoughts On Rules

The Leash Has Two Ends - Responsibility

The Need For Rules and Discipline

Even though winter is over, everyone in my area is coming down with a terrible head cold, so I put together this list things to help Littles feel better when they’re sick.

1. Humidifier

This is just one example of the many cute humidifiers on amazon! Dry air can cause sore throats to be even worse, and having moist air can help with congestion.They have all different kinds of animals. I recommend checking the reviews and finding one that suits you best. 

2. Sore Throat Lollipops 

Most cough drops taste terrible and they’re difficult to get grumpy Littles to want to take. These are made with honey and taste great. There are a lot of different kinds of these types of lollipops so try a lot of different types until you find the one you like best. 

3. Aromatherapy Stuffies

These stuffies are full of a microwaveable grain and lavender and are very versatile. They are nice to microwave and put on your chest to help with congestion, but they’re also great for cramps, sore muscles, or even stress. These can also be put in a plastic bag and put in freezer if need a cold pack. 

4. Fever Stickers

These are fever indicator stickers. You just place them on the forehead and they change color based on the temperature. I think they’re really handy because you don’t have to wake up your Little to check their temperature. If you’re anything like me though you’ll want to take the sticker off and restick, or you’ll want three of four all over your face. 

5. Thermometer Paci

If you can’t count on your Little to not pull the stickers off, this may be a better choice. Getting a grumpy Little to hold a stick under their tongue for a long time isn’t always easy, but give them a paci to suck and they’ll be a lot happier. 

6. Medicine Paci

I’ve never used this but I do think it would be a good idea. Taking medicine is the worst and this may help with the actual taking of it. If any of you have used this let me know. 

7. Fever Cooling Sheets

The Disney designs are what sold me on this! This is perfect if you a Little taking care of yourself or if your caregiver can’t be there with you. Normally I would say a cool wash cloth on your head is just fine, but if no one is there to re-dampen it with cool water it is a bit bothersome to have to get out of your cocoon and do it yourself.  

8. Baby Vicks

Regular Vicks is always way too strong for me, I feel like it burns my skin, and never want it near my nose. This baby vicks is great because it has the same decongestant properties of regular vicks without as much burn. Plus having some one apply it is really soothing and makes you feel loved! 

9. Pedialyte Freezer Pops

If you or your Little is dehydrated these are the best possible cure. These are especially good if you’re hung-over and the taste is better in the freezer pop form than just the regular liquid. Most places have these in the baby aisle, so just one more reason to wander along and look at all the cute things.  

10. The Usual Stuff

This is whatever you or your Little finds comforting. Disney movies, stuffies, footie pj’s, and sippy cups. We all know how important it is to drink plenty of fluids, and to rest when you’re sick. Alphabet soup is a good idea too.

Master: A general term for a Dom, often used in ‘total power exchange’ relationships. This term is pretty common in the pet play community. One reason why this is so common is because in the ‘real world’ “bio pets” often have their human’s deemed as “Master”.

Trainer: A Dom title that is often used to depict a ‘temporary’ relationship. A “trainer” might be used to ‘teach’ a submissive or slave. They can be used for newer subs or slaves, but they can also be used on more veteran subs and slaves. 

Handler: A Dom title that is used normally to depict a public relationship. Handlers are often used during dungeon scenes, PRIDE parades, or other public venues (like conventions) where bdsm play scenes are acceptable. The Handler will help keep unwanted attention away from the pet (such as someone pulling on a part of the pet’s outfit), help keep the pet calm, and help facilitate amicable behaviors. 

Owner: This Dom title is the most common one used in the pet play community to denote the Dominant. Owner can also be found in a subsection of the M/s community (there it is Owner/property). The Owner assumes all typical Dom responsibilities to their submissives and slaves. 

Jockey: A Dom title found in the pony play community. Jockeys will normally groom their pony, some will ride their pony (NOT sexual, there’s saddles made specifically for pony play to go on your human-pony’s back), and will lead them to whatever location they are going to. Jockeys and ponies can commonly be found at human-pony shows and “real life” locations built SPECIFICALLY for pony players and their Doms (such as ranches for human ponies).

Alpha: This Dom title can be seen in both the primal and pet play community. The ‘Alpha’ will often assume “leader of the pack” mentality, often relying on nips, biting, and scratching to ‘show their dominance’. Some will take it as far as using body fluids to ‘mark’ their submissive and slave. There are terms like “alpha sub” which is often used to show a submissive who is the ‘head submissive’ of a group of a submissives (in polyamorous homes). However, “alpha subs” are not as commonly used (terminology wise). 

Angler/Fishers: A more rare Dom title, Anglers are those who are Doms in fish play (and/or mermaid play) where a Dom will have a pet who takes on the persona of marine life and/or a mer-creature. Anglers’ largest responsibility is to keep their pets from drowning while in head space when the pet is in water. 

Tamers/Dragon Tamers: Another more rare Dom title, Tamers are Doms who are in dragon play. Tamers help keep their dragon pets happy by providing them jewels/gems (for their dragons often have hoarding tendencies for shiny objects) and assume all other duties of a Dom to their dragons.