come on over, kiddo

on day one of potty training they feel their pants start to grow warm like normal, but they’re caught off guard by the wetness trickling down their legs. they don’t run off to the potty, instead they stare intently at the dark lines and rapidly forming puddle. they even push a little more pee out, experimentally, just to see what happens.

diapers feel consistent. the moisture is wicked away instantly no matter what. but, with no diaper to catch their pee pee, a new game for the curious little one has been created.

they want to find out what it feels like to wet themselves on the couch, on the carpet, at the playground on the slide, and even on mommy’s lap. in every outfit, too. each sensation is slightly different, the wetness spreading and absorbing at different rates. they have lots of questions. why was the slide so slippery after? why does it feel different in my denim overalls versus my fleecy pajamas? what did mommy feel when the wetness spilled onto her pants?

mommy catches them standing with their back to the floor length mirror, neck craned over one shoulder. they explain they wanted to know what it looks like from behind, and start flooding their shorts before she can stop them.

I’d rub and massage his bladder if he needed any help to start letting it out. Then I’d feel the lovely warm sensation of him going potty in my lap, maybe him blushing and feeling a little embarrassed that he couldn’t make it. I’d rub his back gently, and praising him as he wets. “Such a good boy following mommy’s directions. Show me how much you have to go darling, how much was in your bladder. Good boy, no wonder you couldn’t hold it. Your poor little bladder was bursting. I want all of that potty to come out, OK?”

Giving him lots of little kisses on his face, whispering “ Good job, you’re such a good boy. Keep letting all that, keep going potty for mommy.” When he finishes, giving his bladder a little massage and a kiss to make sure he’s completely empty, and that he lets out any more leaks and dribbles that were hiding inside. When I make sure he’s all done whispering “Good job baby, you made a nice big mess,” making him blush a little at just having an accident. “ You got mommy really wet too. Now it’s looks like we both had potty accidents and wet our pants. I’m in the same boat as you,” hopefully making my adorable baby boy giggle.

You've been at a theme park all day; going on rides, trying fun treats, you even caught the parade full of singing and dancing characters as it weaved through the park.

"Log ride! It's one of my favorites, and look, there's barely a line right now," you point to the sign above the queue: Wait time: 10 minutes.

It's not that you and your caregiver don't have the patience for long lines, it's just that, well, long lines mean you might not make it to the potty on time. You've been working really hard at potty-training and are nearly there! You even started wearing cloth training pants during the day. It's rare now that you have a full blown accident, but sometimes you leak a drop or two before realizing it's time to go. Today though, you're in a pull-up. You didn't want to, but after your caregiver described a scene wherein you wet yourself in front of everyone at the theme park and had to go home early you accepted it. The theme park has plenty of family restrooms, and you've been making periodic visits. You even asked to go last time, without being reminded!

You enter the log ride queue and zig-zag through the empty metal rails. You pick up speed, and are having so much fun you barely notice that there's about to be a person in front of you. You skid to a stop just before colliding into them and laugh. You hear the cheery theme song drift over from the loading area and hum along. The queue is built creatively under the ride and one of the waterfall features cascades next to you. It's hot out, and the mist emanating off it is a welcome refresher. Your caregiver catches up to you and you stand side by side.

A few minutes go by and you haven't moved. You stand on your tippy-toes to try and see over the heads of the people in front of you but you can't see anything. All of a sudden the theme song comes to a halt and a scratchy voice comes over the speakers.

"Greetings, guests! We're experiencing some technical difficulties and have stopped the attraction. We're sorry for the inconvenience, we hope to have it up and running again in no time!"

"Aw, man," you say, putting on a pout. You wriggle your body in protest.

"Shouldn't be too long," says your caregiver, giving your shoulder a pat.

The minutes tick on and you realize that you're still wriggling your hips. You've been bouncing from foot to foot too, not out of restlessness but some other feeling. You have to pee. Uh-oh. You lean in close to your caregiver so you can whisper in their ear.

"I, uhm, have to go potty."

Before they can reply the scratchy voice comes back.

"Greetings, guests! Thank you all for your patience! We will have the ride operating again in less than 10 minutes!"

"Think you can wait that long?" asks your caregiver.

"Mm, I can try..." you say. You really don't know if you can. You've been going to the potty so regularly you don't really have practice holding it for that long.

The waterfall next to you stops feeling refreshing, and starts to sound like it's mocking you, with the way the water splashes and trickles. The pressure in your bladder is growing and you begin to feel too hot, your feet are tired and the sound of the other people chatting in line is starting to sound like static. Your caregiver can tell you're getting overwhelmed and pulls you close. They press their hands firmly on your back and rub.

"Aww, honey," they say softly into your ear.

"I really gotta go. Can we get out of line?" You whimper.

They don't say anything from a moment, and you wonder if they heard you.

"Why don't you go in your pull up, baby?" they finally say.

You pull away from them, surprised. Potty-training was their idea in the first place! And you've been doing so well, you thought they were proud of you!

"I'm potty-trained!" you say, a bit too loud, and cross your arms across your chest.

"Nearly," they say with a smile, "but if we get out of line we won't have time to come back, and I know you really wanted to do this ride. This doesn’t make you any less of a big kid, I promise, baby. You'll still get a sunshine sticker on your chart for today. You wore protection in case of an emergency, and I'd call this an emergency."

You shrug, but then nod. They aren't wrong. You would be super disappointed if you didn't get on this ride. You're relieved they acknowledge that getting permission to go pee in your pants isn't the same as having an accident.

You take their hand and sigh, letting go. You can't remember the last time you intentionally wet yourself. It's embarrassing how good it feels, as your pee rushes out and is wicked away by the pull-up. All of your surroundings start to fade away as you revel in the sensation of relief and comfort that is wetting yourself.

"Going?" Murmurs your caregiver.

"Uh-huh."

Right as your stream turns to a few dribbles and then peters off, the ride music comes back and the overhead voice returns.

"Greetings, guests! Good news, the attraction is ready to operate again!"

A few people in the crowd cheer. The line begins moving again and you shuffle forward. Your pull-up is heavy between your legs and you hope you don't leak when you sit in the log.

After the ride your whole bottom half is soaked. You got splashed right at the end and let out a shriek of surprise and joy.

"That was awesome!" you say, exiting the log and trotting towards the screens to view your ride photo. You don't really mind the heavy, squishy sensation of your pull-up.