Quietus
âPairing: zombie Seokjin x reader
âGenre: Horror
âWARNINGS: MATURE CONTENT, DO NOT READ IF SENSITIVE TO ANY OF THE FOLLOWING: DESCRIPTIONS OF DEATH, MENTAL ILLNESS, BLOOD, GORE, ZOMBIES MURDER AND EXTREME SADNESS.
âSynopsis: In all other zombie stories the main character is out to kill the dead for the living or to keep yourself alive, Not in this story. In this story you will be out to kill the living to keep the dead alive. This is a story about the lengths youâd go to for someone you love. Would you risk your life and take a life for someone whos heart doesnât even beat?
â words: 6.7k
â My Masterlist
Authorâs Note: IâM CRAZY, I WARNED YOU, DONâT @ ME.
Quietus- death or something that causes death, regarded as a release from life.
From the day you walked into his restaurant, you loved him. It was a busy night in the upscale establishment. Of course it had been though, people had been raving about the business since it opened.
You can still remember every piece of that night, especially about how the tall stranger in a chefâs coat and black jeans ran around like a mad man while giving kind but hurried orders to his staff.
Admittedly, you had been sitting at your small table for a while. You were looking over the menu for the thousandth time, and beginning to get annoyed.
You remember how your eyes locked with his from across the restaurant, and time seemed to pause as the handsome stranger appeared to freeze up.The man pushed past a waiter and nearly knocked over a whole table along with the seated couple enjoying their meal just to get to you.
âHi Iâm Kim Seokjin, the owner, is there something I can get for you?â
You were ready to complain no matter how devastatingly attractive he was, but your voice came out timid and shy within his mere presence.
âWell⊠Iâve been here a while andâŠâ
He looked down, your table was bare without even a glass of water. The huge grin he had fell from his face as stuttered apologies flowed from his mouth. Seokjin told you your meal was on him along with a surprise dessert he made himself. He just kept coming to the edge of your table and checking up on you, each time gifting you with a cute little smile.
After that night You developed quite the crush on the kind owner. So of course you kept coming back to dine. And much to your objection, Seokjin would never let you pay. The one time the restaurant wasnât packed you asked him to join you and chat., You bravely left him your number that day- which was totally out of character for you. You had no idea if he was single or not. A guy like that couldnât be single, right? You were pleasantly surprised when he proved you wrong and called you that night.
The call was the first of many long phone and text conversations, you two even began sending each other pictures of your daily lives. You couldnât get enough of him and he seemed to feel the same. Even the thought of him sparked butterflies in your belly every time.
Your first time being intimate with him was after a picnic in a big empty field of flowers. Seokjin had been so sweet on your date, you boldly offered to take him home. You can still feel the warmth of his skin pressed to yours, see the love in his soft brown eyes when they look at you. When you close your eyes You can still see the sun on his peachy blushing cheeks after your sweet and slow first kiss.
You vividly remember all the little moments you shared with Seokjin. You recall him making you breakfast after you woke up next to him, singing along to songs with him in the car like a pair of goofballs, and finally moving in together. The home you chose together had a second bedroom. You knew why he wanted two bedrooms and never changed the yellow walls with little bunny decals all over. Though neither of you had touched on the subject much, you knew a baby was something you both wanted. You were more than happy to spend the rest of your life with him, his love for you and his soft, sweet personality made you feel like you were living in a lovely dream.
But now here you sat in an absolute nightmare. The world had gone terrifyingly sour, and so had he along with it.
You sat on the cold hardwood floor of the empty room once meant for the baby you never got to discuss.
The room you use to look at every morning while soft sunlight streamed through the sheer curtains. The room where you used to sit and imagine a crib. And, where Jin would stand, still in his pajamas and cradling a swaddled newborn.
The yellow wallpaper and bunnies on the wall only felt like a sick punchline to a joke now that the smell of old blood and decay filled the room. The only light that entered this once beloved room was the dim glow of the candle in your hand that you used to illuminate Jinâs formerly beautiful features.
The love of your life sat with chains locked around his wrists and the other ends bolted to the floor for your protection.
Gone were his pretty, brown eyes and what replaced them was a sickly milky, pale grey color that filled the irises. His once pink pillowy lips were a cold and cracking purpley blue. There were dark veins that ran up the side of his once gorgeous face, that showed themselves in some places under his deathly grey and lifeless skin. His eyes and cheeks no longer held their cute round curves, but looked rather sunken.
He was dead.
âMuffin, Iâm so hungry.â He whined so sincerely you could almost feel his hunger. Those eyes, those white glazed eyes in the candle light, looked you over like a juicy red apple, unable to help himself from doing so. But it didnât scare you anymore, nothing did.
He still called you his muffin as an endearing pet name but now you felt it had a much sicker meaning, he could and would eat you if you let him. You sat on the floor across from him but kept your distance beyond the reach of his chains.
The love of your life was now one of the damned monsters that roamed wildly outside the walls of your home, looking to tear any still living creature they came across apart. Yet, you still loved him. You loved him as much as the day you met him because he was still your Jin.
You donât know why or how this Jin still resembled Jin. Maybe not physically, but mentally. Yes, his hunger for warm flesh was hard for him to control sometimes. But he still spoke like himself and joked like he used to, and it got you through the darkness that consumed your world. You couldnât explain why, you had no idea how he didnât turn entirely into a brainless zombie, but it had been nearly a month now, and you knew from reports that it never took that long. Seokjin was astonishing, he had somehow managed to die and not entirely turn into one of those rabid creatures. You thought maybe it was all the love and kindness within his soul that kept the dark from completely seeping in and taking over.
âWhatever you want.â You let your eyes meet his and your hand come up to his stone cold cheek. He flinched slightly at the contact at first but closed his eyes to take it in.
âDonât.â He whispered barely audible but seemed so content at your touch. You knew he didnât like you being this close to him, he didnât trust himself, but you did. He would never hurt you as long as he could help it.
âI love you.â You told him and sat the candle on the floor between the both of you.
âHow?â He nuzzled his cheek into your hand as if not only starving for flesh but your affection, and he probably was. He didnât let you touch him often anymore which was a stark contrast to how you couldnât keep your hands off of each other before all of this.
âBecause youâre still you⊠even if you werenât Iâd still-â
âDonât say that.â He snapped and opened his sad, deathly white eyes to look at you. âWe agreed that if I ever became one of them entirely you'd⊠please donât tell me youâd keep me, it would be too dangerous.â
âI told you, if thatâs what you want Iâd do it.â You hated this conversation, you hated the thought of him maybe one day fully turning. âBut maybe after I feed you⊠do you think we could take off the chains for just a minute-â
âNo.â His reply was firm and his face was stern for a moment before it softened at your disappointment. âItâs not safe, even if I-â he sighed âI didnât mean for this to happen, Iâm so sorry I was bitten.â
It made you feel guilty, the sad look on his face, the helplessness he probably felt. It was your fault he was now like this.
You watched as his milky eyes tinged red with blood and pooled at his waterline before overflowing. You hated seeing him cry, especially now that he was whatever he was. The horrible bloody red tears ran down his face that only reminded you something was direly wrong.
âPlease donât cry. Youâll feel better once I bring back food, okay?â You turned the topic back to food which you knew he couldnât resist.
âPlease be safe.â He pleaded âand donât let them get you.â
You looked at him gazing up at you from his kneeling position on the floor, with bloody tears running from his cheeks. Why did he always have to make this so hard? You knew the answer was that he was worried about you.
âIâll make it back home to you, just like you did me, no matter what.â
He nodded silently but you could see the fear on his pale face.
And with that you left the bedroom, closing and locking it behind you at his typical request.
You went through the usual process of leaving the house, which you only went through now to stock up on supplies or to feed the man you loved.
You wrapped your clothed arms, legs, and neck in layers of duct tape and gathered all your typical knives which you hid around your body. You got your baseball bat with the wooden head covered in thick, sharp nails that protruded from all over, this was your weapon of choice. You silently thanked your parents, that were most likely dead now, for putting you in softball as a kid and into your teenage years.
For a moment you stared at the front door that was reinforced by wood planks from your former kitchen table.
You always had to prepare yourself not only physically, but mentally as well.
The dark smear of old blood on the wall was still there from the day everything changed, the day Jin was bitten.
You donât even remember what you were doing at home when Seokjin texted you and told you to stay inside. He begged you, his urgent messages making him seem more distraught than he ever had before. When you looked out the window, you saw chaos. People were ripping each other apart, screaming, running, crying, and fighting as the sun set.
You frantically texted him in tears, wanting answers; and telling him to be careful and all he could reply was:
âIâll be home with you soonâ or âIâm coming home to you no matter whatâ
Jin had never broken a promise to you, so you knew that this time would be no different.
When he stopped responding, you broke down. You were so scared of the horrible noises outside: thumping up against the house, screaming, gurgling, and almost inhuman groaning.
You were about to leave the house to find him no matter how terrifying the outside world was, no matter what you might find- when loud and fast pounding at the door followed by your boyfriends cries made you hurry toward it and answer.
You had just begun opening the door when he burst through it using both hands to get in, leaving a smear of blood on the places he touched. He closed and locked the door back up before your brain could process that he was covered in blood. His white button up shirt was stained with a fresh, wet, red stain and the source seemed to be coming from a large wound that pumped blood horrifically all over the place.
âFuck fuck fuck!â Jin chanted as he ran right past you. You ran after him in shock and watched as he took a towel out of the linen closet and headed towards the kitchen.
âMuffin stop! Please stop screaming and crying.â He said firmly not even looking at you and concentrating on turning the towel into a tourniquet that he tied above his elbow.
You froze.
Had you been screaming?
You felt warm tears falling down your already wet cheeks.
Had you been crying?
This moment felt like such an out of body experience, you could do nothing else but stare at the blood covering your boyfriend, and the trails of drops he left throughout the house.
How much blood had he lost?
You looked at him gripping the kitchen table for support and saw how pale his face was.
Was he going to die?
More aware panic washed over you as your heart hammered.
âWe- we have to- we have to get you to a hospital we have to- to-â you stammered but he just shook his head with the saddest look you had ever seen.
âTheyâre all gone, everything is all gone, everyone is going to die.â His tone was very strangely calm, as if he had already accepted it.
âB-but-but youâre not! Youâre not going toâŠâ you felt more hot tears stream down your face as he looked you in the eye and said nothing for a while. That gave you your answer that you refused to accept. You shook your head as the sobs wracked your shaking body.
His bottom lip quivered, tears filled his eyes as he reached out a bloody hand to touch your cheek.
âI said Iâd come home to you and I did⊠I just⊠I had to see you one more timeâŠâ
âPlease please please donât say that!â You reached for his torso and wrapped your arms around his blood soaked frame and pressed your head to his chest like a scared child. âPlease donât say thatâŠâ
He brought his uninjured arm up and let a quivering hand hand run through your hair as you listened to him sniffle. He only let you both stay this way for a moment until he pulled back and pried you off of him by the shoulders. He knelt down to look you in the eyes.
There was something horrifically wrong with them⊠it was almost like the whites of his eyes were creeping in and taking over his irises.
You began to panic and sob, you couldnât stop breathing heavily and panting, your mind spun and you struggled to think coherently.
âShhh shhh listen to me okay? Just breathe and listen to me.â His voice was calming yet urgent. âWe donât have any time to waste, okay? I want you to listen to me and do your very best not to panic. Show me you understand.â
You nodded your head quickly.
âOkay? Okay. Iâm going to die.â
You covered your mouth at his words to try to stop the sobs from escaping.
âBut itâs okay, thatâs okay. We all die and thatâs fine, but the thing is, I was bitten by one of those⊠things⊠out there. And from what Iâve seen, I will turn into one. Are you following me?â He asked and you nodded quickly again as a whimper escaped you. ââŠUnless my brain is damaged or destroyed somehow. I need to do that before I die and turn into one. I need to stay dead, so nothing bad happens to you if I turn. Now, we have a few options and very little time.â
He pulled out a black handgun from behind him and held it between the both of you. You didnât question where he had gotten it from or where he had been hiding it, right now the real question was: what he was going to do with it?
Just the sight of the cold black metal in your sweet and kind, dying boyfriendâs unstable hands made your stomach churn.
âThereâs two bullets left, now listen to me. I want you to live okay? I want you to survive this because you can, because youâre strong⊠but me, Iâm already as good as dead now.â
You shook your head rapidly.
âNo no no, Jin,no. What if- what if thereâs a cure-what if- what if you donât turn intoâŠâ
âI will. I will turn into one, I canât even count the times Iâve seen it just on my way here. I will die. I donât think this thing is curable, these things are dead, dead dead. You canât cure death and I donât want to take the risk of turning you into one of them, I canât.â
You snatched the gun right out of his hands without a thought for your own safety.
âNO! I WONâT LET YOU DO THIS NEITHER OF US ARE DYING! I WONâT LET YOU DIE!â You screamed and pointed the gun right at him, but he just looked sad instead of afraid.
âMuffin, if I had a choiceâŠâ his brows furrowed.
Your mind began to work overtime, scrambling for something, anything at all you could do.
âJin. Get the fuck in the spare bedroom.â Your voice was firm as you still aimed the gun at him.
âI canât. Are you listening to me?! Itâs unsafe to be around me!â He seemed to grow frustrated with you.
âJUST GET THE FUCK IN THE ROOM UNTIL I FIGURE ALL OF THIS OUT!â you screamed.
âQuiet! Quiet! Quiet! If they hear then theyâll come after us!â He whisper-yelled.
âThen go, get in the room.â You urged.
âFine, but swear to me that once I turn into one of them you kill me.â His demand went ignored âPromise me! Itâs my dying wish, you promise me right now!â
âFine! Fine! I promise.â You didnât know whether you were lying or not yet, you couldnât think past this moment right now.
He went into the room and you cared for his wounds, even after his eyes glazed all the way over to a milky white, even after he felt cold to the touch, even after he began to crave human flesh, even after his heart had stopped beating.
And now you were here and looking at a dried bloody hand print, and you were angry.
The need for vengeance filled you for not only these things that bit into your boyfriend, but for humanity. Not a single person tried to help him before or after he was bitten.
You imagined it, you could see people running, scrambling as Jin tried to fight off the creature that had ended his life, ended your life with him. You now hated the entire world, and you used that to fuel you and be your bravery.
You gripped the baseball bat in one hand and keys in the other as you unbolted and unsealed the door, trying not to make too much noise that could bring an undead to your doorstep.
You peeked out at first and saw nothing but the light of day which burned your eyes for a moment until they adjusted to something other than your dark and boarded up home.
You heard nothing at first, not even as you carefully locked up behind you. You knew Jin would be safe even if you didnât lock up, he smelled dead, and the bumbling carnivorous beasts seemed to hate that scent just as much as you had⊠before you had gotten used to it. You only locked your home up so you didnât come home to any surprise guests, living or dead.
As you stayed close to the little shops and homes on the side of the road, you had already noticed something was off⊠way off.
You had only seen one undead so far, through a window, milling around in what looked to be someoneâs former apartment.
Where were they?
Just a week ago, the streets were full of them, but where weâre they now? Had they all wandered off to a new town to find more food? Did they migrate like birds? Was there a person alive anymore that even had these answers?
And then a thought struck you.
What if there was simply no one left? How could you feed Jin? If you didnât feed him would he become feral and brainless, would he be gone forever?Â
You shook the thought out of your head and continued on with your mission, no longer how long it took, you had to find someone-
Half hiss half growl came from behind you, close behind you.
You felt jagged nails connected to a cold emaciated hand grab at your shirt. Without thinking twice about it. You turned around fast- to face the decayed image of death itself, swinging the spiked baseball bat high and hard as you did so. There was a popping of wood hitting bone, before the crunching sound which youâve come to find satisfying- because it told you that you hit your target spot on.
Sure enough, the zombie fell to the side, head crushed in like a soda can. You tried not to look at its dirty clothes or anything signifying it once was a person, you had trained yourself not to think about things like that anymore, even in the still living. People were now just dead or food for the dead.
You carried on, checking every window, every shop, occasionally having to smash a few undead heads in, leaving parts of you splashed with pieces of decaying matter.
âMom!â You heard a female scream in the distance, echoing down the deserted streets, followed by shrieks.
You took off running fast towards the noise before it was too late.
âHello?! Follow my voice! I can help you!â You shouted not caring that you knew it would only alert more undead to your presence.
âPlease! Please help!â The girl screamed as you continued to run and search down every intersection and alleyway you passed. You knew at this point you were being chased, you refused to look behind you to see how many but could hear their collapsed lung sounding hisses and tormented groans after you as fast as they could be, and you knew if you were cornered with all of them behind you, you would be in a tough spot you most likely wouldnât make it back from.
Your eyes finally spotted a teenage girl, pinned against an abandoned blood smeared car, wrestling with what looked to be a freshly dead woman.
âMom please donât- I know youâre in there, please!â You paid no attention to the begging as you swung at the dead woman from behind, crushing her head too, just like the rest. Pieces of hair and scalp were stuck to the spikes of the bat, but that was not your concern right now, right now you were more concerned with the girl now screaming harder than ever.
You clapped a hand over her mouth and dragged her upright by her arm and looked her in the hysterical, wide, crying eyes.
âWe need to go if you want to survive.â You told her firmly and began to drag her away quickly down the street as you caught a glimpse of the six or seven zombies that were beginning to catch up with you.
You heard her let out a scream when one grabbed for her with its sickly hands and chomp at her, thankfully you jerked her away just in time.
The zombie horde only seemed to collect more zombies like a snowball tumbling down a hill and growing in size. Truthfully, you didnât know how you were going to escape this with her; your lungs were beginning to burn from running so hard for so long, your legs ached and begged to rest, and this girl would not stop screaming.
You had to make it home to Jin, no matter what, just like he had you. You thought of his once comforting scent and his arms wrapped around you, the sound of his tired voice in the mornings. If you were torn apart by these monsters, you would never be able to even talk to him again.
As if your love for your boyfriend was once again a prayer of hope always answered, you saw a sturdy looking front door of a butchers shop cracked open just up ahead.
You dragged the girl through it and slammed the door closed behind you and pressed against it as you locked it with shaking fingers. From the other side, the zombies pounded against the other side of the door, but you felt relief even if the girl was now staring at you in shock as she panted along with you.
âIâll-â you tried to catch your breath âIâll go search the rest of this place-â you swallowed and tried to get the saliva going again in your mouth. âThey should chill out and give up after a while if weâre quiet enough⊠hopefully.â You began taking off through the small shop, but there wasnât much to search except a locked back entrance and a large metal walk-in freezer that was locked from the outside. You didnât care to find out what was groaning inside and since there was no power, it obviously wasnât about to freeze.
You returned to the main check out area, where the girl sat on the deli counter holding rotted meat behind a glass. She was softly sobbing, but snapped her head out of her hands when she noticed you standing there awkwardly trying not to watch her.
âIâm so sorry I- my mom-â
âI understand.â You cut her off. You did understand what it was like to have that desperate and helpless feeling when someone you loved was bitten.
You glanced over in the dark shop at her still shocked looking, tear streaked face. It was a little round, almost baby-like, but she looked to be about thirteen or fourteen. Her eyes reminded you somehow of Jinâs when he was sad.
âWhatâs your name?â The girl seemed to be trying to distract herself from her own pain.
âUh⊠y/n.â You replied, purposely not asking hers.
âThank you for saving me, I know my mom couldnât be saved butâŠâ
âI think theyâve lost interest outside, we might be safe.â You purposely changed the subject but also noticed there were no more noises coming from the outside. âI found a way out through the back just in case-â
âI donât want to go back out there, please.â The girl began to cry again.
âWe have to, I need to get you back to where itâs safe, back to the others.â
âOthers?â You saw her still distraught face light up just a little.
âYeah, thereâs a group of us all holed up in a house, itâs safe.â You looked her in the eyes and lied to her face. But, you had to do whatever would convince her to come with you, and she decided to, upon you giving her false hope.
âI promise to protect you.â And that was the honest truth, you had to keep her safe until you got her home. âDo you have any weapons on you to protect yourself with?â
The girl shook her head.
You wondered how she was not dead yet, and how persuading her could be this easy. It didnât matter, and you didnât want to know. You didnât offer her one of the many weapons you had stashed all over you.
You led her through the back entrance. The door creaked as soon as you unlocked it and pushed it open, alerting the two decrepit looking zombies of your exit. The girl hid behind you as you swung the bat with a grunt of exertion, smashing its head like a vase full of rot. The second one came close enough to almost reach you but it got the same treatment.
âThey seem⊠slower and easier to take down than when this first started, that was the last time I went outside, when it all started. I think theyâre beginning to rot beyond repair, hopefully itâs only a matter of time before they all-â
You shushed her nervous whispering as you tried to lead her through the alleyways.
You didnât have many problems navigating and heading back, you kept her quiet and tried to keep the both of you as hidden as you could. It was easy, so much easier than the last time you left. Sure, you had to swing your bat a few times, but there just werenât hoards of zombies chasing after you. The thought that they might be dying out scared you more than if you were being chased by a whole army of them. But that wouldnât happen to Jin since he wasnât like the rest, it wouldnât⊠it couldnât.
âAhhh!â You heard the girl scream from behind you just as you saw the steps of your home come into view.
You turned around to see one of them sinking its hollowed out face into her shoulder from behind her.
You quickly jerked the screaming girl hard by the arm, out of the mouth and grasp of the undead with its sunken face now dripping with blood.
Fuck.
Was your first thought, but your body reacts faster than your brain did. You didnât even have to think about it as you swung the bat. The creature stumbled and fell backwards, with a neck now missing a chunk of flesh that had embedded itself in the spikes of your weapon. You raised the bat above your head and swung down hard on its head, finishing the job this time.
But you were pissed, you were filled with boiling anger and frustration and you let it take over. You swung the bat down again and again and again. All of this was for nothing now that she had been bitten.
Her constant screaming and crying along with the sounds of the undead now being drawn to you snapped you out of your thoughtless actions of beating the zombie below you to a pulp.
You looked over at her yelling and crying for you to help her as she clutched her shoulder that blood rapidly spilled from, turning her hand a deep red.
You were so close to home, there was still time- as long as she didnât bleed to death before you reached your destination.
You grabbed her by the hand again and tried to soothe her as you tried to outrun the zombies.
âItâs okay! Itâs okay! I can fix this! Thereâs still time to fix this.â You spouted off nervously.
âIâm going to die!â She sobbed over and over as you all but dragged the ticking time bomb of a girl, who had already seemed to accept her fate. You kept leading her with only Jin in mind. Your shaky hand fished for your key in your pocket while you stumbled up the steps to your porch, with an ass load of starving zombies and a screaming girl in tow. You nearly dropped the key as you tried to shove it into the keyhole while the growls and the scared shrieks from the girl increased in volume, only making your anxiety worse.
You only felt relief when you had managed to unlock the door and open it, pulling the girl in with you just in time. You hurriedly shut and locked the door and immediately heard the growls, groans and gurgling of the heard brainlessly slamming themselves up against the door that you were now working to barricade back up.
The girl would not stop screaming and crying and frankly, you were done with it.
âPlease help me! Please?! What do I do?!â She sobbed, her grey, dirty shirt now soaked with blood, her skin beginning to look very washed out.
âI know. I know what to do.â You decided. You took her by the arm again, dragging her quickly into the hall, picking up the key you always kept on the table. You led her back to the last door, the only closed one in the house, and you unlocked it.
âMuffin? Is that you?â You heard Jin call from the other side.
âWhat- what was that?â The girl sputtered out in fear as you sneakily reached for the knife hidden in the hem of your pants. She was beginning to get hysterical- asking over and over what was on the other side of the door, and refusing to go in once the door was opened to nothing but darkness on the other side.
âItâs all okay! Itâs just my boyfriend. Itâs okay heâs going to help you! Look, watch.â You argued and urged her in as you reached for a candle and lighter you kept at the entrance, you lit it quickly.
âHere.â You said as calmly as you could even though the clock was ticking.
But your temporary calmness was enough to settle her down until you lit the candle and situated the point of the hidden knife to poke the back of her neck.
She went silent from fear upon feeling the sharp metal tip on her skin.
âGet in the room.â Your voice was demanding and cold. The clanking of chains could be heard, and made her stay in place. You gave her a hard shove into the room and quickly closed the door behind the both of you. You set the candle down beside you and scooted it forward so it illuminated Jinâs tall standing form.
âIâm so hungry, is this my food?â Jin asked and the girl began to once again scream and beg.
âPlease! Please no! What the fuck is wrong with you?! Why are you keeping one as a pet?!â
You felt anger again for her as she called your boyfriend a pet.
You grabbed her by the arm and shoved her closer to Jin, who lunged at her making her scream. But, she scrambled backwards out of reach of his chains until her back hit the wall.
âHow dare you call him a pet!â You screamed at the girl, âheâs a person just like you or me!â
âYouâre fucking crazy! Heâs dead! You killed twenty of him out there!â She desperately yelled at you from the corner of the room she had taken refuge in now.
âJust get her-â Jin now seemed aggravated as he stared her down, and his anger appeared to intensify when she cut him off by sobbing loudly.
âWhat Jin?â You shouted over the girls cries before deciding to march over to her to try to grab her again.
âSTOP! PLEASE! I DONâT KNOW WHY YOUâRE DOING THIS! THEREâS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU! HEâS NOT TALKING!â She screamed while curled into a ball in the corner, trying to stay as far away from you as she could.
You froze upon hearing her words.
âDonât listen to her, muffin.â You heard your boyfriendâs voice say from behind you.
Your brain snapped for a split second and in that second it wasnât his voice you heard, but snarling and the sound of chains being rattled around wildly.
You decided not to turn around, it would go away like always if you ignore it, and it did.
You grabbed for the girls arm and tugged her to her feet, she barely had any fight left in her with the amount of blood she was losing.
âJust hurry! Kill her and throw her here.â Jin commanded.
âIâm trying.â You told him with a sigh.
You wrestled with the weak girl until you stood behind her with a knife to her head.
âPlease, please, donât feed me to him. I understand you probably think heâs still him, but your mind is messing with you! Youâre lonely, I understand, you probably miss him! But please just look at him!â She sounded desperate as she tried to reason with you.
It triggered your mind to snap once again. No longer did you see your boyfriend standing there waiting for his food, but you saw a rotting zombie that resembled a shell of Jin, tugging on the chains and gnashing his teeth at the both of you.
âNo!â You let out a loud high scream and clamped your eyes closed tightly, when you opened them he was back to himself standing there.
âYouâre as good as dead anyway.â You muttered before making a single swift movement bringing your knife to her temple and bringing it down hard enough for the blade to crack bone and sink in.
You once again closed your eyes for a moment as you pulled your knife out and pushed the limp body hard, letting it hit the floor within reach of Jin.
He wasted no time in getting on his knees and digging into his meal.
You never watched him eat, you hated how much like one of them he was, that was when your brain couldnât hide it and pretend he wasnât feral like the rest.
Sure, you were lying to yourself, Jin wasnât Jin anymore, he hadnât been since the day he died when he was bitten. It was just easier for you and your lonely, scared mind not to accept it. You didnât want to relive the moment of chaining him down and him dying in your arms, on the floor of what couldâve been your babyâs room.
You tried to unsee the horrible sight in front of you, a zombie digging into a young girl. You tried to forget how he snarled at you, how he said nothing but tried to grab and bite you, and how he was decaying horrifically like the ones outside. You wanted to go back to pretending he could talk, to pretending there was still your sweet Seokjin in there who loved you. But you were no longer able to pretend anymore.
You felt tears roll down your cheeks. You had sworn to him that if he turned⊠and he had long ago. But you also promised him youâd keep on living. And now, how could you possibly do that when what little light you had left had just burned out.
âI love you.â You sniffled, but the zombie chained to the floor continued to eat, paying you no mind, not understanding you.
He wasnât Jin. He wasnât the man who cuddled you close, who made you laugh, who would beg you to stay in bed with him in the mornings just a little longer. And now how you wished you wouldâve stayed in bed with him on those mornings and that you cherished the soft light on his face and warm body next to yours.
Reality was a cold nightmare that you simply couldnât live in anymore.
You wiped the tears from your eyes and went and got the gun from the kitchen where you originally stored it, still containing two bullets.
You re-entered the dim room where Jin still ate.
âI hope you forgive me for all of this, I know you didnât want to become one of them âŠâ your hand shook as you aimed the gun at his head âso wherever you are right now. Iâm sorry.â
You closed your eyes and imagined, not the old memories you shared- but new ones. You thought of Jin asking you to marry him and going all out in typical Seokjin fashion.
There was a pop and a hard thud after pulling the trigger, but you didnât open your eyes.
You thought about how Jin wouldâve stood in the kitchen with his toddler on a stool to reach the counter as he taught them how to make things. You thought about all the family trips you would go on together. You thought about the future: meaningless bickering and arguments, and all the special things you both would do for each other that was yet to come. The last thing you thought about was his kind, wrinkled smiling face, the face of an old man, yet still as gorgeous as the Seokjin you first met.
You were ready to come home to him and do all the things you havenât done yet together.
