the good, the bad, and the dirty. ┈┈┈┈┈

general information about me !!

── : ✧ please call me noise or chapel

── : ✧ i am 19yr, but chrono 17 (18 on 06.30)

── : ✧ they them / it its / ix ixs / shi hir / hesh herm / he him / iv ivs / sin sins / pup pups / mutt mutts / fall fallen / grim grims / med meds / stitch stitches / bandage bandages / ow ouch / mor morphine

── : ✧ cis-intersex boygirl + xenogenders : demiromantic + recipromantic aceflux gaybian : polyamorous objectum

── : ✧ therian concepkin otherkin otherhearted furry

── : ✧ semi - romantic jax (tadc), baby (kpdh), monica (the rookie), edward (twilight) yumeshipper

   my trans / cis - identities

will update as i find more. still learning!

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶

── : ✧ cis - id || plural, bipolar, bpd, avpd, ocd asd, ginger, blue-eyed, chubby, disabled, cane user, pcos, intersex, afab, harmed, programmed, forcedharmful, vaper, scars, pale, piercings, psychotic, pots, paranoid, stalked, bad memory, blind,

── : ✧ tris - id || hospitalized, programmed (severity), plural (serverity), pots (severity), asl user, aiws

── : ✧ trans - id || species, chibi furry legs, hypno-eyed, service dog owner, smoker, age, puppy tail, madd, deaf, high tech acc user, shapeshifter, angel

── : ✧ perma - id || listening to music, sleepy, bandaged arms, bruised

  stances and do not interact

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶

── : ✧ pro-consent, anti-harmful, anti-c for the big three. exceptions being consenting trans-id individuals. i love and respect everyone though!

── : ✧ neutral / pro leaning on profic

── : ✧ neutral / pro leaning on endogenics

── : ✧ pro chosen recovery , anti forced recovery

✰ dni list

── : ✧ pro-ICE, pro-trump, pro-government

── : ✧ pro-harm / pro-non consent

── : ✧ that's literally it. otherwise follow your own dni list. if i get weirded out by you, i can easily not respond!

　　　✰𓏲 .. to "qualify" as having bpd, you must meet at LEAST 5 of the 9 symptoms on the diagnostic criteria. these include

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶

── : ✧ irrational, strong fear of abandonment

── : ✧ unstable and intense relationships

── : ✧ unstable, quick changing, and/of LACK OF identity

── : ✧ periods of stress related paranoia and a disconnect from reality

── : ✧ impulsive and risky behavior

── : ✧ threats of suicide or self harm (usually in response to abandonment or rejection)

── : ✧ wide, intense mood swings

── : ✧ ongoing feeling of emptiness

── : ✧ inappropriate / strong anger and short temper

　　　✰𓏲 .. there are 4 subtypes of bpd. these include the following. it is important to note that you are not required to have one specific subtypes.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶

── : ✧ petulant : these individuals have a difficulty expressing their emotions, causing them to struggle controlling them as well. due to this theyre prone to more severe mood swings and outbursts of anger quickly. this subtype is prone to proposing ultimatums or forcing others to prove their love

── : ✧ quiet : the quiet subtype has a stronger fear of abandonment, thus causing their emotions to be directed inward, leading to self blame, self harm, and going to extreme measures to prevent people from leaving

── : ✧ impulsive : as suggested, this subtype is based on impulsivity. typically these individuals are more charismatic, they're good with convincing others, they enjoy being the center of attention and thrill seeking, leaving them to be reckless and dangerous (as in s/h, unsafe sex, gambling, substance use, etc)

── : ✧ self destructive : self destructive focuses more around euphoria as well as dangerous threats and activities

　　　✰𓏲 .. general tips

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶

── : ✧ rapid / extreme mood swings. these can be minutes to hours

── : ✧ associate emotions with sickness or pain. for me, i get nausea, headaches, stomach aches, etc when feeling things due to the intensity

── : ✧ be skeptical of people, especially in high stress scenarios. or alternatively, dissociate—shut your brain off, yk?

── : ✧ complain about having a "gut feeling", this can cause strange actions or delusions of your choice

── : ✧ complain about hallucinations. smelling, tasting, hearing, feeling, or seeing something not there

── : ✧ whenever you're not in an episode of high emotions, complain about being bored or "numb".

── : ✧ try to cure the boredom with impulsive things (please stay safe)

── : ✧ form strong attachments to EVERYONE. this will either be a good or bad attachment. associate everyone as evil or perfect. (i can do an alternative post on fps if requested)

── : ✧ have multiple personas. switch through these personas, change characteristics about yourself frequently, mimic others, whenever you're not around people, resort to feeling dissociated and empty

── : ✧ hypersexuality is quite common in bpd

── : ✧ lack of boundaries or constantly changing boundaries

── : ✧ complain about people or yourself not feeling real

── : ✧ conduct tests to make people prove they care. isolate, make them come after you. pick fights, see if they care enough to make things right, threaten to kill / hurt yourself, etc. (while i bring up the harm point as example, please be safe)

── : ✧ age regression / age dreaming to manage emotions

── : ✧ maladaptive daydreaming

　　　✰𓏲 .. (neg) splitting tips

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶

* note - you do not have to split on OTHERS. you can even split on yourself too. splitting is just any switch between black (negative) and white (positive) thinking.

* note - you will pretty much ALWAYS experience guilt and/or amnesia after splitting

~ splitting on people specific ~

── : ✧ be random. splits come out of nowhere

── : ✧ viewing the person/people as evil

── : ✧ make outrageous claims against them. for example, "you hate me", "you never cared about me", "you're talking about me", "youre out to get me", "you're secretly [perp/bad person]", so forth

── : ✧ call the person/people mean names. splitting causes you to be impulsive, therefore, you don't think before you speak

── : ✧ when splitting, use words like "always", "never", "no one", "everyone", etc. splitting is all or nothing, there is no middle ground. ex. "everyone hates me, why does this always happen. things never go my way."

── : ✧ push people away / leave them before they can leave you

── : ✧ shaking, struggling to breathe, throwing up, being more aggressive than usual (for example accidentally breaking things, stomping, talking louder), you can even sometimes FEEL the emotion like a buildup of pressure in your chest.

── : ✧ complain about your body being sore from how tense you are from the emotions

── : ✧ forget any good experience you've had with this person in the moment

── : ✧ things you thought you cared about, they dont matter while you're splitting

~ splitting on self specific ~

── : ✧ convince yourself everyone is going to leave you, that you're too much to handle, you did something wrong, you're a back up option

── : ✧ undermine your own happiness / believe you dont deserve good things

── : ✧ self sabotage

── : ✧ complain / vent about yourself

　　　✰𓏲 .. euphoria tips

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶

* note - this is not the same as manic or hypomania. euphoric episodes typically last a few hours. it's very rare for them to exceed a few days

* note - just like splitting, euphoria is also commonly caused by a trigger. not everyone knows their triggers, but these can be music, animals, smells, games, anything that gives a sense of joy can trigger happiness in bpd to the MAX.

── : ✧ wonder why you were sad

── : ✧ complain about memory loss during or after

── : ✧ boast about yourself. claim youre the best and on top of the world

── : ✧ be more social / give off more energy

── : ✧ act as if the euphoria will last forever (but ofc, you will crash again)

── : ✧ appear more happy

── : ✧ after euphoria, act extremely drained