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     Hey, it’s Emily. Don’t adjust your, whatever device you’re hearing this on. It’s me, live and in writing. No return engagements, no encore, and this time, absolutely no requests. Get a snack, settle in because I’m about to tell you the story of my life. More specifically, why this cursed show ruined my life. 

     Do the names Zach and Alex ring a bell? In fact, I have not stopped thinking about how these two fools were so beautifully set up to be the best couple in the show since that horrid day of June 5, 2020. As a matter of fact, Zach and Alex are literally the show’s most popular ship, yet they still were not endgame. Let’s throw in gRaNoLa CaMp cOoKiEs guy at the last minute. Listen, I love Charlie, he’s my bi baby, but it’s like his only personality trait is baking and annoying Alex. Like Alex literally said the words “If I say yes will these stop” in response to Charlie’s promposals. I have been an avid Zalex shipper since 2018, so you can imagine my disappointment towards the wasted potential we were dealt with this season. First of all, Zach did not teach Alex how to slow dance in season two just for them to not slow dance together at prom?? Did Ross Butler get into a fight with the writers or something, because why all that build up for NOthing? Can we also talk about how Alex murdered someone because they threatened Zach’s life? Can we also talk about how Alex almost drowned alone in season one, while in season four Zach saves him from drowning in the lake. The writers really had us thinking they were gonna kiss again, but then the scene just arbutedly ends? Can we talk about how Zach had to leave a room because Alex and Charlie were there? Maybe we can talk about how Zach is “not” in love with Alex, even though Alex was the one to break away from the kiss while Zach had his eyes closed with a dreamy look on his face. Ooh, I always love thinking about how Alex had no problem having Zach help him back in his cane days, but when Tony and Clay made an effort to walk his way to see if he needed help it cursed them out. We can also talk about the “Why are you with me and not with Charlie?” scene because I wonder why Zach would get so angry at his “best friend” hanging out with him like that if there was not more behind it. We can have the discussion of how Alex literally confessed his love to Zach in front of his boyfriend, with Zach adding in “it was a nice kiss” while staring Charlie down cuz that’s some funny bf shit. Actually, maybe we should be talking about how Charlie literally laughed when Monty told him Alex tried to kill himself and Zach had to step in. Yes, it makes sense for Charlie to laugh considering Monty’s is a scary little shit. Speaking of Monty, can we talk about how his gaydar was on point? Now I’m not one to brag, but I too both called Monty and Alex not being straight since season one, but let’s not get off track here. Monty called Alex a word that I am not gonna repeat in this essay for obvious reasons, but he also referred to Alex as Zach’s boyfriend. Again, I’m a big Charlie St. George fan, but when he smiled to alex at prom, my mans deadass said out loud “I’ll never be happy”. Like?? Anyways, maybe we can talk about how Alex started describing Zach when he was talking to the webcam girl. The more obvious shit being when Alex literally got a boner after trying to drop kick Zach, when was in the middle of a fight and stopped to help Alex up, or how Zach asks to hang out with Alex every 2108318 seconds. Or how Winston starts rambling on about why he’s in love with Alex and Zach goes like “yeah…”. We can also have the discussion about how, now this one is my favorite folks, Zach literally looked like he wanted to die when Charlie and Alex were holding hands at Monet’s. The moral of the story, is that there are many conversations to be had about Zach and alex. All in all, It just does not make sense for Zach and alex to go through what they did just for some random ass cookie generator boy to ruin it. I do have to admit, the prom scene made many many points, but it shouldve been ZACH!1!1 Ultimately, the only thing I got out of season four was that Alex settled for someone else because he thought Zach did not feel the same, when in reality, Zach had only realized he did too late.

     The next and final reason why this show has ruined my life is because of Justin foley. Do I even have to explain this one? Zach and Alex at least have potential to get together in the future, while Justin is gone forever. Fictional deaths are usually sad for me in general. I will usually tear up, maybe shed a tear or two, but for Justin mf Foley, I sobbed. I sobbed for the person that had the best character development known to man. I sobbed for the person that was homeless, lost himself to drugs, to then find his people and his happiness.  I don’t want to talk too much about his death because we all know how sad that was. Justin survived so much. Not only did he have to watch himself struggle because of drugs, he had to watch his mom to do so. His character development is the best I have ever seen. In particular, his development with Clay. Justin went from wanting him dead in season one, to calling him his brother in season four. The scene where Clay says goodbye to Justin especially hurts because it shows how Clay has learned how important it is to tell the people you love that you love them while they are still here. He almost died thinking that he had ruined Jess’ life. He knew he wasn’t feeling well on prom night, but still went for Jess. His and Jess’ relationship had always been a favorite of mine. They were at times on and off again, but you always knew they would ultimately end up together. Justin’s life was finally starting to go good for him. He had a family that loves him and he was going to college, and then his mother died and he relapsed. Justin Foley deserved to live a happy life in college, with Jess and Clay, with his best friend Zach, etc. He deserved a happy ending, period. And don’t even get me started on the scene where Clay reads Justin’s college letter. They both saved each others lives at one point or another, and who would have thought it would end like this. “He’s the reason I’m alive in the first place to write this essay because he’s my good influence. He’s my brother” is a scene that perfectly describes the sobbing chef’s kiss emoji. But enough with the sad because Justin Foley lived. While he knew what it was like to truly feel alone and helpless in this world, he also knew what it was like to feel loved and wanted. 

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