brooklyn bluegrass

Hey Katie, 

I'm on the phone with you right now. We are dreaming and scheming and loving and learning so much in life right now. I'm thrilled about it and beyond. You're telling me about Philly. I want to go there with you. It sounds incredible. You just called it "a beautiful mess;" that's perfect. That's what we love. 

i've been in bed for the past four days with the stomach flu. The holiday season has been a crazy, exhausting blur. Good. Full of good food, laughter, and catching up with my favorite people that I miss so much. A bit of doubting, because I am sad that I'm not with those that I adore as much as I could be. But also, there's a lot of joy in returning to the city and the job that I love. It's just been a wild year. Also, I really want to see the movie Wild. Like a lot a lot. 

For something creative, here are some aspects of life that I've been really into:

black & grey clothing. insert anything everlane, helmut lang, or vince. (too many monies, but i walk past helmut lang & vince everyday on the way to work in meat packing.) 

Alela Diane's sweet and backporch swingin' tunes. 

all the pastas my mind can consume bc my body can't consume them right now. oh, and baked potatoes bc my body can consume them, and they're as good as ever with a healthy cut of butter, salt, & pepp. 

everything my muscles and legs can do with a yoga strap - aka, stretching. 

i've been reading a lot about the terror attacks in paris on nytimes. today's images have me missing and longing for Paris and Les Mis. not sure if that's a healthy or developed response. 

oh, and i binge watched season 3 of Girls last weekend. i'm eager for season 4. it's delicious filth, and sometimes not filth at all. i laugh. 

I miss you, and care for you. Can't wait to see what happens. 

Xo, 

i'm really good at taking care of other people, projects, and tasks in general-- but sometimes i can be really bad about taking care of myself. 

i know this about myself-- it stems from my need to go-go-go, do everything possible, help everyone, be unbelievably productive, and always spend time with people. i love celebrating life and living everyday fully, but sometimes it's hard for me to remind myself to slow down too. also, admitting to being tired and burnt out with how you're living your life is harder than i thought. 

i hit a wall a couple weeks ago after a really busy week where i didn't give myself any room to breathe-- it felt like all feasting and no fasting. i promised myself that it wouldn't happen again this week too.  i knew if i didn't take a step back soon, i would crash and burn even harder later on.

making time to stop, listen, feel and detox after going non-stop might seem like a normal thing to most people-- but for me, it's not. for me, it takes driving home crying and hugs from my mom to remind me that i can't live at 110 percent everyday and expect to not feel drained-- emotionally, physically and psychologically. 

i do a lot of things and those things all add up to a point where i basically micro-manage everyday to an extent-- i hate that i'm always thinking about what i have to do next.  now, i'm trying more and more everyday to just be present. to say more no to more things. eat good food for my body. get enough sleep. listen to the Lord. and spend time doing things for ME, not just obligations.  cutting myself slack is something i don't do enough of & being selfish with my time is something i do not practice regularly.   

i'm praying for more time in my pajamas, drinking tea & not feeling guilty. i'm thankful for a fall break that wasn't wasted & the confidence in putting school on the back-burner for a few days. i'm grateful for this season, no matter how busy it may be-- and the fact that it's never too late to start over, find a routine, let yourself off the hook & make time for taking care of your heart. 

also, i'm making progress in Bread & Wine-- Shauna gets me.  "what i'm finding is that when i'm hungry, lots of times what i really want more than food is an external voice to say, 'you've done enough. it's OK to be tired. you can take a break. i'll take care of you. i see how hard you're trying.' there is, though, no voice that can say that except the voice of God. the work i'm doing not is to let those words fall deeply on me, to give myself permission to be tired, to be weak, to need."

xox KT

The other day while at work, I noticed a magazine a girl was carrying. It had a lot of negative space with a simplistic picture of the dessert and the word "Cereal" on the front. I immediately made a mental note to look it up when I got off. I'm so glad I did because I just fell deeply in love with an article by Annie Lee.

Seriously, it's gorgeous, and hits the nail right on the head. I've only lived in this city of lights and madness for two months, so it's not like I can identify with her completely. Although, it does capture the chaos of emotions that I've been experiencing. I can go from being wildly fascinated, grateful and overwhelmed with how lucky I am to be in this city that I love so deeply to being filled with deep hate and sadness because of the people and things around me. Yes, a bit too much drama in that last sentence, but it's kind of true. I go from, "Oh, I love the wind that sweeps me up from the subway to the beautiful bustling streets above" to "Ew, I hate this poop fog that's smacking me in the face and blowing my dress up as I'm trying to swim through this muck of awful humans to make it to an unpaid internship interview" in seriously a millisecond.

I can't believe I live here, and I can't imagine living anywhere else during this season of my life.

xoxo,

every week I take somewhere around 1,000 photos. this has been going on for 3 weeks now-- that's a lot of dumb pictures & thankfully a few that i like too. the assignments are different each week, but we always have to turn in three features. sometimes it's fun, other times it's stressful, but regardless -- it always feels good to turn in my work & start with a clean slate each week. 

xox KT

It’s been rough. Plain and simple. The adjustment. The job hunt. The job contentment. Missing friends and family. My self esteem, faith, attitude, and selflessness. Yeah, they’ve all been struggling. It doesn’t help when everyone tells me I just need to make it through the first year. TEN. MORE. MONTHS. You’re telling me to just be patient. It’s a virtue. Well, it sucks. I suck. And it’s hard.

Now that all of that is out of me, I can list some blessings. I moved here. I live in a two bedroom with lots of space, another Katie that I love and a kitty I can’t get enough of. I assembled six pieces of IKEA furniture in the first week. By day 9, I had a full time - more than full time job at an incredibly tasty vegan sushi restaurant named Beyond Sushi. I work at both their locations. When I’m not walking through the Union Sq Greenmarket on my way to work, I’m walking through Chelsea Market headed to the other location. I found a church community I enjoy. I have a boy best friend here who is a fortress of encouragement, grace and reason. I have friends - like five of them that join me for brunch, walks in the park, Parks & Rec themed parties and good laughs. I have friends and family back home who love, miss and promise they’re coming to visit. I have parents who worry and stay up late waiting for “I’m home. Love you. Night.” texts from me. I have nieces and nephews that send me colored pictures and leave me voicemails that make me cry. I have aunts, friends, and a Nana that send me lots of letters that make my heart so warm and achy at the same time. I have a ktgirl that inspires and prompts me to blog. I have so much. So much. Though it’s not easy, it never is. “If it wasn’t this, it would be something else.” The key is to keep your head down and keep going - as my father reminds me. The key is to count your blessings - as my mother reminds me. The key is to look up to Him - as I don’t do nearly enough.

So this is my view right now:

Blank walls, wide open windows, natural light and a gray kitty on gray unmade bedding.

I'm here. I'm alive. I'm missing ktgirl, and she is killing it on this blog so far.

xoxo,

I've officially been a New Yorker for seven weeks. It has been a crazy, stressful, exhausting and at times depressing transition. Of course, I didn't expect it to be easy. Actually I probably did. I should have known better. Other than the usual missing friends and family, finding a job and getting settled anxieties, one struggle in particular has been about all things food. 

I work 11 or 13 hour shifts, and the very last thing I want to eat once I'm home after midnight is some spinach and carrots. No, I want all the pizza and sandwiches and donuts that I walk past on my way to the subway. Even if my self control withstands those temptations, forty minutes later I'm back above ground and there's a Dunkin' Donuts and a convenience store full of Oreos right in my face. The spirit may be willing but the flesh is weak. In my case, they both are. I end up in bed at 1 a.m. with a full belly of food that is probably not even real and definitely not healthy. 

What are some other food temptations out there? Seamless. 

It's an online ordering site of glory. I love it. I do. It's awful. Every type of food is available for delivery in your zipcode. So, there have been more than a couple nights that I've feasted on Mediterranean foods such as falafel and baklava at the wee hours of the night. It's just too easy. Dangerously easy. 

Also, there are just so many lovely baked goods on every single corner of this city. 

Also, also, I work in Chelsea Market, so my break times are another temptation all together. 

I do walk everywhere here. It helps but not enough. 

Tonight, I walked to the grocery store and enjoyed this lovely dusk sky. I came home and ate some avocado toast and baby carrots. Okay, good. Then I popped some chocolate chip cookie dough in the oven. Less good. 

The struggle is just so very real, people. My love handles are expanding as my wallet is shrinking. 

This has got to change. I tried Blue Apron a couple of weeks ago and loved it. It just takes time. Time that I have little of, but it's something that I'm going to have to prioritize. I'll keep you posted.

xoxo,

jan-- you remember how I am only buying one new item a month, right? well it's really hard and i kind of cheated this month. (there i said it)

i didn't buy anything AT ALL during august.  not because there weren't cute things-- mostly because i hardly set foot inside a store other than to buy groceries.

august has come and gone, but i justified my latest purchase since it was still within the first week of september. (cheat number one) then i found the best heels and a dress-- & i couldn't part with either one. (cheat number two)

i'm explaining this because i consider everything i purchase this year to be a helpful addition to my wardrobe and thoughtfully planned.  i've been loving chunky heels this summer, but haven't found a pair i loved... until last night when i came across the perfect pair-- brown leather//ralph lauren//on sale//my size.

my girl nao wears these comfy t-shirt dresses that gracefully flow and look great on her tall & thin body.  i've been wishing i could find one that fit me the same way, despite our drastically different body shapes.  when i tried on this plain//black//comfy cotton version last night and it didn't make me look like a potato, i agreed i couldn't pass it up.

and i love pairing dressy shoes//accessories with a more casual outfit to make it feel nicer. after church & brunch i changed shoes, took my jewelry off and now i feel like i'm in a cozy oversized shirt for the rest of the day.

it's black & plain so i'll wear it when i come see you in NYC & fit in well. 

xox KT

two of my favorite things are kinfolk & shauna niequist.  both of these inspired the apple crisp that I made on Monday-- Labor Day. 

shauna is my favorite author and I'm reading her book Bread & Wine currently. (read Bittersweet and Cold Tangerines if you want to love her too.) in one of the first chapters of B & W she talks about her mother's blueberry crisp and all of the different fruits you can use to make a crisp.

apple season began this past weekend & the only thing on my mind was getting apples from the orchard to make a crisp of my own. 

the kinfolk table book is one of my most prized possessions, so thumbed over to page 60 to consult their apple crisp recipe.  i decided i couldn't go wrong with using their recipie (sugar, butter and apples can do no wrong) -- although shauna's crisp topping is gluten free & a LOT healthier. (jana you would approve)

i shared this treat with three friends who all greatly approved-- and they are the honest kind who would tell me if it was gross. my girl charlotte shared her beautiful kitchen with me and was also the best set of extra hands.

i wrote the ingredients down on a rifle paper co. recipe card, so it's officially a keeper. 

here it is if you want to make the goodness too --

for the topping: - 1 cup flour - 2/3 cup sugar - 1/3 cup brown sugar - 1/2 cup oats - 3/4 teaspoon allspice - 5 tablespoons melted butter

for the apples: - 3 tablespoons butter - 8 apples // peeled, cored, cut into slices - 2 lemons, juiced - 1/4 cup sugar - 1 tablespoon flour - 1/8 teaspoon cinnamon - sea salt

topping: -combine flour/sugar/oats/allspice in a bowl. add butter and mix until crumbly.

apples: - heat oven to 375 - grease pie pan with butter - toss apples with lemon juice in large bowl - combine the flour/sugar/cinnamon/ and 1/2 tsp. sea salt & then add to the apples and toss until evenly coated - transfer apples to dish & cover with topping. sprinkle a pinch of salt to topping

cooking things: - cover crisp with foil - cook for 25 minutes // then cut butter into small cubes and sprinkle onto the topping  - cook for 30 more minutes without foil -- until crisp is golden  - cool for 15 minutes and serve warm with ice cream (serves 6)

i haven't made shauna's healthy & light crisp yet, but when i use the left-over apples to make that one, i'll let you know how it goes.  xoxo KT