I Come With Knives

PLEASE READ BEFORE YOU FOLLOW!!

“Maybe I'm my own greatest fear

Maybe I'm too scared to admit that”

Skott, intra 26, bodily 24, he/blood/gore/guts, genderqueer, Fictive in a C-DID system, bodily autistic, persecutor & trauma holder. 🩸 Heres our systems main account

devoted to my rapist since 10.03.20 ❣️& my brother ❣️ (don’t talk to them or me) :) we’re in a closed polyamorous relationship!

Some posts might have to do with: BPD, C-PTSD, OCD, etc. mostly raw vents, nsfw, gore, and unhinged fucked up shit. this is your warning :)

I want to be his ashtray, his favorite victim, his pet, I want him to beat me till I’m bleeding and bruised. I want him to force me to go down on him 😵‍💫 I need him to physically and mentally abuse me.. I want him to make me genuinely cry from how cruel he can be..❣️I want him to hurt me so bad that he blames me all for it to the point that I cut myself ❣️❣️❣️

I need him to rape me.

And send post…-

(time for me to finally sleep)

I’m gonna rip apart both my boyfriends and eat them.. and then curl up in between their bodies all soaked in blood :) their barely warm bodies pressed to me while I jerk off to the loving mess we make together.. I just get really excited and happy just thinking about it ❣️

I need him.. I need him so bad I want to bite him ❣️ eat his flesh I want him to eat me too being apart of each other forever he can never leave me. I’d cut myself in front of him, just so he’d understand. I’ll do anything. I’d try so hard to manipulate him into never leaving me I don’t care how good or bad at it I am. I have to always have him. :)

I love him I love him I love him ilovehimilovehimineedhimineedhim I need him and he needs me he needsme I’ll eat him Iwillkillmyselfifheeverdidsomethingstupid.

But he loves me :)

I should cutmyselfandsmearmybloodonhisface as proof of my love to him..

I am so happy I got to take my boyfriends on a movie date today :) Roger really wanted to see the Backrooms movie so we did and it was really good and Roger loved it that’s what mattered most ❣️ then we walked around for a bit and went into some stores and only got a few things. :) then we came home and I made dinner (Korean beef bowl) it was really good. Just happy to take my boyfriends out and have a special little date ❣️ @pulmentisdog @permarapist

Happy pride month :) I’m Genderqueer, Polyamorous, and MLM/Gay freak

tagging my loving boyfriends for this post: @permarapist @pulmentisdog :) ❣️

Some of these are obviously not pride flags but I wanted to add them anyway. (Necro flag, auto Necro flag and conabuse flag)

I fucking hate being apart of a system and having a subsystem. Because wdym when I was trying to fall back asleep this afternoon that a certain smell and the room being cold made me have flashbacks and I cried a little before eventually falling asleep?? Only to have a weird fucking dream spoiler alert it wasn’t good.. and all I remember now is that I was dry heaving in my dream right before we woke up. We woke up feeling pretty disoriented. Anyway.. I’ll get back to horny posting soon guys. Fuck our abusers wishing the worst for all them.

I want him to recreate my trauma with me so bad.. ❣️

When I want to engage in the compulsion to check to make sure the doors are locked. But then I can’t leave the room either because that’s not safe and I will be safe if I don’t leave the room. And nothing and no one can hurt me and nothing will happen as long as I don’t leave the room. But if I do decide to leave the room before the sun is up something will most definitely happen, I can fucking feel it.

I’m gonna just hide in bed and trying reading messages or posts from my boyfriends to try to make me feel better…idk I’m just fucking bothered or something I guess

I fucking hate how bad my paranoia can affect me and I’ve always held this shit for our system. Just tonight I can’t stand that it’s dark and that I won’t go downstairs I don’t feel all too safe. It’s just the shit I fear that I keep having bad intrusive thoughts and it’s making me nervous and I don’t know what I can do to feel safe. I don’t need to check the back door because I was the last one in and I locked it I always locked it. And to top things off we’re having pain related endometriosis which is causing a flare up in our leg most likely due to our HSD. Fucking. And we have a doctor appointment tomorrow maybe we should just fucking sleep soon.

Happy birthday to us we are now bodily 24 today, hoping we feel good enough to get drunk and high :)