ennis del mar

i like thinking about us being together. maybe we could go on a date to the movie theatre and smile the entire time, or go to the park and hold hands. maybe we could just stay at home and tale care of our animals. i just want to be with him, care about him, play with his hair, kiss him, love him. i wish i could have him.

i want to hold him, i want him to hold me. i dont care which, i just want to be with him.

i got a shirt like jacks, its not the same but its good enough. it helps me cope with the fact that ill never be able to be here with him. oh how i LONG to be hos protector, save him from what happened to him. i wish he was here. i wish he was real, i wish he didnt die at all. i wish i could be happy with him.

i lay here in my shirt, euphoric. i feel like im connected with jack. i want him to be here with me. i want him to care about me and love me and hold me. i wish that it wasnt this hard. i wish i could just have him for myself.

my friend is buying me a jake gyllenhaal body pillow so i can sew a black hat on it JFNDNDNDN