what?

In order to be properly non-pedophilic you have to want to fuck somebody old but not with gray or white hair because that's too close to blonde which as we've established is the hair color of children. So ideally somebody old as fuck but bald. And obviously wanting to have sex with a man is misogynistic so it has to be a woman. And it can't be a white woman because that would be racist and it can't be a woman of color because that would be fetishistic, so ideally a woman with some unnatural skin color, oh let's say, purple. But it can't be an alien, because we don't know anything about alien life cycles so it could be an alien child or an alien that looks like a child. So it has to be an animal from Earth, but obviously one of human level intelligence that can communicate is otherwise that would be bestiality. So an old purple female animal that can speak English. I think the only creature you can be hot for is the Ant Queen from A Bug's Life.

(original tags: she literally had tears in her eyes while she explained that her pikachu had a boy tail shape. i was like hey she can still be a girl. all we know from her body shape is what her body is shaped like. maybe if we asked her she would say that she feels like she’s really a girl. and my kid was like BUT POKEMON CANT TALK 😭😭😭😭 so i was like ‘ok. pikachu. if you want to use he/him say ‘pika’. if you want to use she/her say ‘chu’. and if you want smth else say ‘pikachu’’. and my daughter had her say ‘chu’ and i was like see there you go! now. she doesn’t HAVE to change her tail shape. she can totally be a girl with a rectangle tail. but if she would feel more comfortable with heart shape bc she prefers it, or so that people won’t assume she’s a boy, i can make that happen. so pikachu what do you think? do you want tail surgery? and pikachu agreed enthusiastically! so. plushie gender-affirming surgery first thing tomorrow i guess!)

How big was the largest recorded pig ever?

tldr: