𝔟𝔯𝔦𝔞𝔫𝔫𝔢

the dramatic response was expected but that didn't stop reneé from busting out laughing at it. "it's cute that you think my kidneys aren't fucked. get yourself one of those pure religious types that don't do shit to their bodies and you're golden." all this wasn't going to stop reneé from continuing the devil on the shoulder type act. in fact, the more brianne mentioned how she shouldn't be doing something, more she'd probably try to encourage just that. the next comment caused a smug look to grow slowly on her face. "wow, i feel like i've achieved something monumental. i mean opening your world up to something other than sangria? how can i ever get higher than this moment?" she paused. "but you're welcome in advance. here to always prove you wrong, babe."

´ Well, yeah. I didn’t even know why I asked, you most likely won’t be the one, at least for that particular task. ‘she teased back, not fully grasping the weight of her words. If there was one thing about Renée and Brianne’s friendship, it was that it was fun: about empowering each other and finding comfort. Brianne definitely felt that comfort when she confessed to the younger woman about a little fling with a friend that had driven her confused, it was all new to her, and she hadn’t realized she could feel anything for that gender, yet the attraction was real. The more she thought about it, the clearer it became.

Don’t you dare throw me an Uno reverse like that, Glen. Do you know how many damn times I called? First, I tried reaching you because I realized I’d left one of my AirPods in your bag, and I was this close to geolocating you until the battery ran out. By the fifth missed call, I was already planning your goddamn murder and figuring out how to get away with it. I decided throwing you into the ocean from the quietest deck made the most sense. Jokes aside, that was at the beginning. After I found my way to the karaoke place and the casino, I was pretty hard to reach myself, so I get it. So tell me, besides not returning my calls, you dumbhead, what have you been up to?

Yeah that's very true. I did a whole lot of exploring so that was fun. I didn't really have a favorite thing since I loved everything that I was able to do. What about you? What was your favorite thing you did on the cruise? I hope you had a good time though.

Were you able to do the escape games? I heard they were amazing, but I found out too late and couldn’t make it, unfortunately. Oh well, probably just means I’ll have to come back. My favorite spot was definitely the karaoke bar; I honestly spent most of my trip there. The casino right next to it being so convenient didn’t help either, I made it part of my daily routine. Now it feels weird not belting out Dolly Parton’s money machine every night. What are your plans now?

I'm not the type to just hide after things don't go a certain way. Oh please, you are and having fun is all that matters. I did check that out, yeah. Think there wasn't a single thing I didn't like on that boat. Did you manage to get to the highest deck? I'm glad we managed to clear the air a little bit. I still consider you a friend and I'd hate to lose that. I'm sure we can be friends again, right?

I’m sure glad you aren’t. I did manage to get up to the higher deck, and I was kind of bummed I didn’t do it sooner because the view from the infinity pool was absolutely breathtaking. I’m really glad we did, because like I already mentioned, I’d hate to let this friendship go to waste over a lack of communication, which I’m most likely guilty of, and for that I truly apologize, once more. Maybe we could meet up soon over coffee?

couldn't let the moment pass me by after talking it up so much. i just know the crowd left impressed by these vocals of ours. halloween karaoke party? count me in. safe to assume halloween costumes will be the dress code for this one?

Right? They totally did, I’m telling you, if we’re ever looking for a career switch, we’d be getting a callback in a heartbeat. And honestly, no good party is complete without karaoke. Not only does it rhyme, but it couldn’t be closer to the truth, so yes, absolutely. I was thinking of going with a general theme, tho, so it’s easier for people to pick outfits. What do you think about something like ‘Calling All the Monsters’? I’m so glad you’re jumping on the opportunity, because I just know it’s going to be amazing.

I mean honestly the fact that we're no longer married didn't really factor in in my case. The fact people speculate that the kid is an ex's though, not fun. Like honey, if he didn't get me pregnant in almost a decade, what makes you believe he would have now? Girl, I can send you all the products you want, you have an in with the boss.

Right, but that sounds like the kind of talk you already had in mind. That’s never something I’ve thought through with mine, nor do I think he’d be interested, despite us having a fairly good relationship. Oh my… what are the speculations about? Austin? Zac? I bet you’ve made a whole lot of headlines. You and Rihanna really holding the pregnancy reveal thrones. Why thank you, girlfriend, I’ll definitely make good use of them. By the way, since you are the queen of Halloween, I’m still looking for one more person to co-host my annual party. Thought it’d only be fair to ask the you?

losing friends but finding a karaoke bar? worth it. tell me, what song did you impress the crowd with? being on a cruise with a kid sounds like a special type of hell so i'm also feeling for the parents on parent duty here. sounds like the designers knew exactly what they were doing when they put that ice cream stand there. how's the sangria mission going? i've been getting into the same trouble as you -- sipping drinks on every deck. i don't think i've done this much swimming ever in my entire life and i'm living for it.

Oh my, thank you for joining me on that last karaoke session, dam. I know we were exactly what they needed, and we most definitely set this ship on fire, pretty sure we got hired without even knowing it. With that being said, I’ve got a job for you, party friend. Remember my karaoke party? I’m throwing a Halloween one, and this time, if you’ve got the time, I’m offering you the co-host spot. What do you say?

couldn’t agree more. i think now i’m ready to get back to her though. the break did its job but we’ve also got a birthday party coming so something good to look forward to. the main bar with that good observation deck got most of my time but then the arcade one, too. how about you? and now where does this leave you with cruises? you going to be going on one again soon?

Oh my, I’ve seen that, five years old, right? The big five already. Soon she’ll be switching to the other hand before you even know it. They grow way too fast, I swear. It’s like a blink of an eye. I hate it, but I love it at the same time. I adore watching mine becoming more vocal and seeing her personality really start to take shape, it’s promising in the most chaotic way. Honestly, this was my first time on a cruise, and I loved it. Not sure I’d make it my main priority for every vacation, but I’d definitely do it again. I was even thinking about Antarctica since that’s basically the only way to get there. But I’ve heard it’s pretty intense. I wasn’t sick on this one, thanks god it wasn’t moving like a rocking chair but I can’t imagine how rough it must be when it does, what seem to be the case with that particular cruise. And what about you? How was your cruise?

Exactly that. Plus I want Ty to have a bff for life and a small age difference so they can grow up together. Oof there's this watermelon mint caliwater mocktail that it's just so great and refreshing. And a virgin Moscow Mule as well.

It does make sense. If I were still married, that’s probably what I would’ve done too, to be honest. Plus, you haven’t left the diaper stage yet, so it’s easier to just power through and do it all at once. That actually sounds delicious. I feel like mocktails should be the way to go for the upcoming months, so I’d happily rep Caliwater in exchange for some PR packages, shooting my shot.

I feel like we have not talked in forever. That is my fault I have kind of gone mia. How are you and little peaches doing? I am doing well. Getting back into the single mind frame again.

Probably because it is the case? Feels like I haven’t heard from you in forever, Rory. But I’m glad to see you around. Peach and I are doing amazing, she’s back into her preschool routine, and I’m slowly falling back into mine. Honestly feels great to be able to use the bathroom for a minute without any disruption. Wait, single mind? How’s that? Weren’t you in Italy a month ago with your girlfriend?

Yep, that's my official getting-lost quota. That ship was enormous and I am presently the human equivalent of a rogue shopping cart, so reasonable sounds about right. Love that you committed to sober-first-two-days policy. I didn't want to be the guy wandering the corridors at 3 a.m. asking a potted plant for directions, and I didn't end up doing it, which's good. Mm… chocolate chip cookie dough. It's the only one liable to leave me licking my fingers like a twelve-year-old. You're right, my choice does reveal things about me. I'd like to know what. Waterpark in the middle of the ocean? Hell yes. And a tracker in my backpack? Genius. Clip it on, call it the Chris Locator™. I accept my fate. I think I will wear that tracker like a badge of honor, everywhere, so I never get lost. How was the trip?

Now I feel like you’ve been calling me out, because I’ve definitely had a random talk with a coat hanging on the door thinking it was someone. Thank God it wasn’t, though, because with the amount of rambling I did, nobody deserves that. Still, it was a great lashing session and exactly what I expected from it: to be listened to without any talkback. Highly recommend, honestly. The Chris locator has probably expired now that the cruise is over, it’d be weird to keep it going. Not that I need to know where you are… or do I? I’ve always had my suspicions about you being the actual Captain America, and this would either confirm or debunk my theory. Something for me to ramble about on Reddit. That being said, the cruise was amazing. It felt so good to have some time for myself and to catch up with old friends, but I’m also glad to be back in my routine and have my lil peach back by my side. Tho, I will definitely miss my nightly karaoke sessions. What about you, sir? How has the cruise been treating you?