Vincent Monet

"Ew? More like accurate! Seriously those things are sweet and addictive… like skooma… so there’s that… so yeah."

"Dammit Vincent.  You have no clue what ‘those things’ taste like."  

"Okay two things, first we could change that. Second honey is sweet and bees like honey, and they're called boo-bees, third there's no way they can't be sweet. Oh crap that was three things... whatever. My first point is the strongest so yeah if you know ever wanted to whatever..."

"Ew? More like accurate! Seriously those things are sweet and addictive... like skooma... so there's that... so yeah."

City of Theives [Alice|Vincent]

”..avoiding the crowds in the market" she replied putting down her hood. “So, what are you doing in the alleys handsome?"

"Looking for the muggers. They're fun to knock the shit out of or whatever. Or I make them give me a cut for working in my town." He eyed her up and down and walked a little closer, "Handsome, huh?"

"What it wasn't like I was even sneaking. Seriously though check out these bitching boots, I mean they're quiet 'cause like they're not clunky crap or whatever." Vincent stroked his mustache, "What are you even doing in the alleys? Don't you know there are muggers and shit in the alleys, or whatever."

I’ll answer everything, and I’ll publish it too. ;) 

Send me a ♠ for my muse's reaction to walking in on yours masturbating.

Pulling the Strings (Kjorn/Vincent)

Tor honestly wondered if it was worth continuing the conversation. “But I don’t want to be plucked. Not yet anyway. And I don’t want ssome random woman or guard in jail. Anyways, I’m sure the guards wouldn’t have to do anything, the Nords here may kill me. They’ve been alright about me sso far, but you never know what will tip the balance…"

"Oh yeah I forgot the Nords can be dicks like a mountain of dicks. So yeah."

"Just show it off. The ladies will come swarming. It’s like fishing you just throw the worm out there wiggle it around a bit, maybe play with it and before you know it you have one. So there’s that"

"I do not think women would be attracted to it if was jusst hanging out there…and I’m sure I would be jailed."

"Sure they would, you'd like a sexy fruit tree they'd want to come along and pick your plums, take them home with them. The guards have enough problems than to deal with a naked argonian. And even if you're jail and that's an if there could be a female guard see win win or whatever."

"Analogy? What does the study of the anus have to do with anything!? Wait… what… Nevermind! Even if it doesn’t sing you can sill put on a show."

Tor-Acr gives the Breton a flat look. “No, human. No show. That would bring disrespect and ssome awkward explaining to do to some of my friends…"

"Just show it off. The ladies will come swarming. It's like fishing you just throw the worm out there wiggle it around a bit, maybe play with it and before you know it you have one. So there's that"

"Whoa like if it really sings you should get it a little top hat and a cane and hit the road as a performer. Like seriously a singing argonian penis."

Tor raised his brow. “Analogy, human. If it actually ssang, I would definitely use your idea however. An amusing thought."

"Analogy? What does the study of the anus have to do with anything!? Wait... what... Nevermind! Even if it doesn't sing you can sill put on a show."

"Whoa like if it really sings you should get it a little top hat and a cane and hit the road as a performer. Like seriously a singing argonian penis."

"So like here’s some good advice… Don’t have buttsex with Mehrunes Dagon. What? Seriously that is like the best advice ever. I mean sure on one hand you’re getting it on with a god… But he’s the god of destruction or whatever, so like he’ll totally destroy your ass. Like your ass is gone as in there’s no coming back from that. You’ll never shit right again. So yeah, there’s that…"

Ella eyed the Breton with some apprehension, before asking quietly, “I’m praying that you arena speaking from experience. But I have to ask; are you?"

"Oh what the shit!? Seriously you think I'd let the Prince of destruction anywhere near my mangina? Or undercariage? Or whatever? No. Seriously no, like there are a few daedra that I'd bang, but he's not even on the top fifty list. I'm sure he just has a battleaxe or spiked mace in his nether area. I am still and proudly so anal virgin. So yeah or no or whatever."