I don’t really know what I’m gonna write here, I don’t know if i’m gonna post it. I think I need to write this for myself more than anything...I think this is gonna be a mess of words and there isn’t going to be any structure. I’m first gonna start off by saying I, am a mess. An absolute mess that doesn't have a vision as what to do with my life. I didn’t think I would struggle to write this but I am. Could be the headache I’ve had for 2 days, but that’s a different part of this, story? Not a story, an unstructured mess of my mind. Yeah, i’ll go with that. I’ve been having Mental and medical problems that are coming up. I guess it’s my fault in a way. I don’t think I could have prevented it, but I could have taken the steps to help eliminate the problems faster. For example, I didn’t have any type of insurance, because my anxiety was so bad I couldn’t make a phone call to take care of myself. I’m more mad at me than anything. It wasn’t until I was in sever pain and just so uncomfortable when I deiced I had to do something for myself. I don’t know why I’m writing this. Maybe because I feel like a big change is about to happen. I just started my anti depressants, there new for me. Haven't tried these ones. I got a call from my doctor i guess, her office? Anyways. They are worried about my blood pressure being so low when I went to the ER, and again at my appointment. Asked if I've been feeling dizzy and I say, “yeah at night, when I’m trying to sleep my world will start spinning.” asked if I drank enough of water, yes I do, I think. I drink like 4 or 5 16 oz water bottles a day. They want me to come in for an MRI, which I’m doing obviously that’s the smart thing to do. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I have a lot of appointments coming up these next few weeks. I think thats all for right now, I don’t know if I’m gonna write more. maybe, like a public diary? Hah funny. who knows. I sure don’t
romaincrisis
