balancing homework and strange powers

"Congratulations, Con! Dad would be so proud," Roman mock-gasps when he returns, then makes a motion with his mouth and fingers that thankfully will go over most babies' heads.

"This is Marianne's kid," Connor clarifies. "Say hi to Gregory." He presents the swaddle of blankets like he's revealing the baby Jesus, and three scary-looking kids peer down so they can get a good look at him. Little Greg is fast asleep, a doughy little thing with slightly mismatched proportions.

"Who names their kid Greg?" Kendall is mildly concerned.

"Not when you say it like that," says Connor. "But 'Gregor' ? 'Gregorius'? Maybe Marianne wants to break the stigma around the name 'Greg'."

"Cool," Kendall notes. "Can I have my bag back?"

"Those things make you miserable," Connor doesn't miss a beat. "Forget about it."

As Kendall groans like he's about to pass out, Roman screws up his face at baby Greg. "Why's his head so big?"

"He looks like one of those toys that grow when you put them in water, but if you got impatient and took it out too early," Shiv observes thoughtfully.

"I can't imagine what the three of you can say when Marianne's around," Connor sighs, shifting Greg's weight in his arms.

At the movement, Greg squirms and blinks his eyes open. They're a pretty blue, just like Connor's and Shiv's and Roman's and Kendall's.

"Hey, little man," Connor greets him warmly. "Who's up? Is Greg up?"

Greg gurgles in response, not at all fazed that the face he's staring up at isn't his mom's, big blue eyes roving and exploring his surroundings. Shiv watches him with fascination despite her earlier jab. She reaches out a hand to poke at his bald head where thin wisps of hair are beginning to grow, and Greg bats a gummy hand at her wrist.

"This is Siobhan, but you can call her Shiv," Connor explains. "This is Kendall."

Greg coos when he sees Kendall, but that's probably because he's never seen a sad sack of an adolescent human being in all his months of being born.

Kendall realises Connor's signalling for him to hold Greg and immediately seizes up. "Uh, I don't  -"

Connor accepts his resignation and moves on. "And this is Roman."

It's Roman's turn to get stared at by Greg, and Roman takes this chance to pull a very unattractive face, eyes and mouth and tongue twisting in cartoonishly impossible directions like he always does when he wants the other 10-year-olds to get off his ass.

Greg's face goes a blotchy red and he bursts into tears.

Connor nearly drops him from the whiplash. "Rome!" he manages to yell in between shushing Greg, but Greg won't stop crying. "What's wrong, bud? It's okay, look at me, look at me," he says frantically, but the rising panic in his own voice isn't helping matters, and Greg's wails are have already cut through the ambience of the apartment.

"Rome, you cumbucket," Kendall spits.

"Yeah, Rome, you shitbrain," Shiv parrots, mirroring Kendall's dead-eyed glare.

"What?" Roman flinches from being bombarded from both sides. "I didn't do anything, I just looked at him!"

"Greg? Oh my God, Greg?"

Marianne comes flying into the room, equal parts meltdown and murderous intent. Connor's clinging to Greg like he's holding a bomb, looking like he could evaporate on the spot.

"I'm sorry, Annie, it's all on me." He graciously gifts the screaming bundle of blankets back to his mother, flashing Roman a quick side-eye.

"It's fine," Marianne strains, practically clawing to get Greg back from him. "Maybe I'll hold on to him for tonight." She bounces Greg in the crook of her arm.

"Hey, honey. Mommy's here." She presses her cheek against his, muffling the sound of his screams, as the younger Roys get increasingly physical with each other in the background.

"See? Mommy's here," she hums, and Greg's wails die down into sniffles, and then he's resting his head on Marianne's shoulder, face still kind of pink but no longer crying.

"Mommy's here," Connor affirms as a peace offering, rubbing a hand on the small of Marianne's back.

Later on, Shiv gives Greg one of her old stuffed toys as a second peace offering (from him and his three siblings, Connor tells Marianne, though this isn't very accurate as Roman refused to plead guilty, and by default refused to give up any of his possessions).

"If you don't apologise, Marianne's never inviting you to her house again," Kendall says lightly, out of earshot enough that only Roman can hear him.

"Who cares?" Roman says, but he's biting really hard into his lip and his fists are balled and trembling.

"No one is getting banned from Marianne's house," Connor hovers over them before anything else can escalate. "Count yourselves lucky that she's nice enough to do that."