A/N: Hey guys! Because of recent things that have happened to me, I want to make a big post about a serious topic: heteronormativity. This post might be triggering to some people. I tried to stay as sfw as I could. TW: Homophobia, Discussion of kinks, stereotypical portrayal of lgbt+ relationships.
It would be amazing if you could spread it around since this is really important to me and I want to reach as many people as possible. Thank you!
What is heteronormativity?
It could also be the point of view that in a same sex relationship, heteronormative standards need to apply. I.E. One person needs to beĀ āthe manā the otherĀ āthe womanā of the relationship, one isĀ āthe bottomā judged by physical traits, the otherĀ āthe topā
Ā Because - surprise, surprise - same sex couples arenāt heteronormative. The whole damn point is that no oneāsĀ āthe womanā orĀ āthe manā.
Theyāre who they identify to be, regardless of their appearance.Ā Of course, in the lgbt+ community, thereās people who like to appear a certain way, like to act a certain way.Ā
Butch or femme lesbians for example, or gay guys who like to be very flamboyant. And thatās completely ok! As long as no one gets forced to be a certain way, everything is good.
Why is this a problem in fandom?
We probably all know aboutĀ āshippingā. About fanfiction and fanart, bringing two people together in a more or less romantic or sexual relationship. Often, a ship is a gay couple, two men in love.
Why do people ship? Most of the time probably, because they like it. Itās exciting or arousing, a sexual preference. A kink. Nothing more, nothing less. (Of course there are lgbt+ shippers who want to make themselves a platform or create. Theyāre very valid but this post is mostly about non-male, non-gay shippers.)
Now, a kink is nothing bad, nothing to be ashamed of as long as it doesnāt harm anybody. And here is where the problem lies:
People DO harm other people with their shipping behavior sometimes. Gay couples suddenly only matter in ships, are only valid in theory and need to be heteronormative. This overthrows actual, real life gay couples and their voices because itās not about them or their rights but about the sexual preference of someone else.
Letās say we go for K-Pop. Chanbaek (EXOās Chanyeol and Baekhyun) is a giant ship loved by many.Ā
Chanyeol, in the eyes of many shippers, is a big man, tall and more often than not with a strong physical appearance. Baekhyun on the other hand is pretty small in comparison to Chanyeol, looks moreĀ ātraditionally feminineā and acts a bit moreĀ āflamboyantā.
Now, I had to read comments likeĀ āChanyeol has to be the top, look at himā,Ā āBaekhyun as a top is cringeyā,Ā āBaekhyun is such a bottom b**** haha.ā with my own two eyes. These are quotes, things that people have said.
This is a problem because: Chanyeol and Baekhyun can do whatever they want. They can prefer whatever sexual position they like, completely seperated from their looks or personality. They both have the right equipment for topping or bottoming and their physical appearance doesnāt determine who likes to stick their dick in who. Also: switching is a thing. There is no assigned top and once heās it, heās it forever. Thatās just not how that works. Of course, some gay couples might fit into the stereotypical picture and thatās OK. As long as they are that way because they want to.
And then today, someone said to meĀ āI donāt believe in gay couples, I read fanfic for fun.ā
Do you see the problem? People act like lgbt+ relationships are only there for their own enjoyment. They act like gay people arenāt valid, are even homophobic while they use gay people for their fetish.Ā
The same person also said:Ā āThere are no gay idols and donāt try to bring up that attention seeking boy. Tell me gay idols if youāre so sure they exist.ā
And boy, was it hard to stay calm. The problem: Of course there are gay idols. But since the societal standpoint on lgbt+ people in korea isnāt very good, most probably choose not to be out. They would face dangerous behaviour, death threats, attacks and abuse. They would put their career in danger and those of the people around them. So of course people are staying in the closet. But it is almost impossible that all idols are non-lgbt+.Ā
Also: Donāt even try to come for Holland. He is wonderful and brave and faces a lot of hardships just for showing who he is. Get your homophobic ass out of here.
If you want to discuss this further with me, feel free to send me a message or reply to this. I am part of the lgbt+ community myself but Iām not a gay male so if you would like to educate me about something relevant, please donāt hesitate to do that.
PSA: GAY PEOPLE ARE REAL AND VALID AND NOT JUST THERE FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT. THEY CAN DO WHATEVER THEY WANT AND DONāT NEED TO ADHERE TO YOUR STEREOTYPES.
janainaart
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