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Steve Jobs was insufferable to work with. He was a fruitarian. He routinely mistreated people and ripped off his partner. He was a terrible father, an Elon before Elon. We love to praise terrible leaders as long as their a commercial success even if they hold distain by everyone they knew.

When Aston Kutcher played Jobs in a biopic and ate the same fruitarian diet, Aston got pancreatitis. Steve died from pancreatic cancer. Art usually meets life but this time it was trying to meet death. Aston quit the diet immediately. Perhaps Steve was led to a fruitarian diet based on his spiritual beliefs. Steve believed in a revered Hindu guru and is said to have read his book ever year. He even gifted people 'Autobiography of a Yogi' at his own memorial which he planned himself. That's how much he held those beliefs to his core.

What is most remarkable of course is Steve's famous Apple legacy. Most people don't notice that the logo is the forbidden fruit from the Garden of Eden. The most famous imagery of bitten fruit. In Genesis, this is the fruit the snake (devil) tricked humans into eating. The logo itself is a constant symbolic reminder that humans fell for a lie. And bit into their downfall.

In 2015 I quit my job of 2 years. I had no plans. There was no job lined up. When people would ask what I did for work I would explain I designed boxes. "Someone designs boxes? That's a job?" "Yes. Boxes don't magically fall out of the sky." A year later I shaved my head entirely bald for a commercial. Cancer patients and their relatives, would tell me how they were personally moved by the ad. From then on when asked what I did for a living I replied, "I use to make boxes, but now I make people cry."

After quitting I travelled to Texas. I had 3 short flights there and back. On the first flight I asked my seatmate what the purpose of life was. I had quit my job, had no real purpose, and felt existential. He replied the purpose of life was to find your passion. The man was a sales account manager who looked like Peter Griffin, but with nice hair. He told me he loved people and his job was talking to people all day. Peter with better hair was the kind of salesman who could talk himself in and out of anything. He offered to buy me beer. He started telling me about his close Asian neighbours and their hot Asian daughter. If only he were younger he would have dated her. Then Peter invited me back to his hotel. Not before asking me inappropriate sexual questions to feel me out. This kind of behaviour (from men I did not know) would happen often. In fact I was so use to it I didn't register what any of Peter had said as a red flag. I was desensitized to the point were I thought Petter was a nice man. Because he was like all men. By the grace of God I ended up staying with two girls who had their flights cancelled and was stuck at the airport as well. They had an airline hotel voucher and invited me to join them. We had the best time. Those girls saved me from what I can only imagine.

On the second flight I sat next to an elegant older lady with a stylish silver bob. As we talked I revealed I quit my job and was searching for the purpose of life. I was a traveling cliché. She seemed unfazed. She told me back in the 80's no one thought about the purpose of life. This was a problem my generation seemed to have. In the 80's you just worked. There was no purpose to life. You worked and did what you had to do. She had been a single mother and raised two daughters. She was also a CPA. I could tell she had done well for herself, but wasn't thrilled about her daughters choice of boyfriends. Until her answer I hadn't considered that life could have "no purpose". "Find your passion" was hackneyed and her answer was stoic, straightforward. But I wasn't satisfied. It felt lacking somehow, detracting. Statistically I had only met 2 Americans. One of each gender, both white. Yet they were the most common, tragic, archtypes of each kind. The weighted rapey man who pursued his passions. All of them. And the single mother of two who strived and succeeded in life. It reflected to me the successful dismantling of the family paradigm.

On my third flight I sat next to a Canadian. He was working in America on a H1B1 visa. My GST-less comrade was a middle age man in finance. I told H1B1 about my dilemma and the two answers so far. He spoke to me plainly and shared that the purpose of life was—God. To believe in Jesus. Now I didn't love the other answers, but I disliked this answer the most. I couldn't conceive why God would be the purpose of life? Isn't that redundant? I asked, "Why?"

"Because if you don't believe in God, and his son Jesus you're going to hell. You need Jesus to be saved."

"So everyone who doesn't believe is going to hell?"

"Yes. That's why I pray for non-Christians every night." The conversation quickly ended there. I was unconvinced. I had no clue why H1B1 believed this. I didn't even think God was a possible option for the purpose of life. I dismissed his answer. The outcome of my field survey, in the sky, was a failure. The trip was a dud. I returned to Canada still purposeless. An empty soup can personified.

I never put 2 and 2 together. In fact I never put 4 and 4 together. First, if you can encounter Satan, (see previous) then you can encounter God. If you can encounter God, then God could be the purpose of life. Second, if H1B1 prayed for non-Christians, and I was a non-Christian, cis-gendered, bilingual-baldy going "straight to hell", then maybe he prayed for me. That same night. Maybe he prayed for his flight companion with no purpose. For her lost soul to be found. For her life to be saved. Before Satan tethered her soul to hell.

In 2017 I began to explore the New Age. I got into the New Age because I was paralyzed with depression and could not get out of bed for 3 months. At my worst I was fantasizing about cutting my body in half and moving my organs to a new body so I didnt have to live as myself anymore. I started learning New Age energy healing for my crippling depression. It was witchcraft but I did not know it. The New Age was a way to attain anything I wanted with little effort and no consequence. Which turned out to be a lie. I began to see the New Age as a never ending climb of attaining more and more power (witchcraft and self-worship). The truth is the New Age is about becoming your own God. But when you are your own God, your God is as fallible as you are.

There is a phenomenon that happens when climbers, sailors, survivors, and polar explores are lost in dire situations and hallucinate a 3rd presence. They feel this presence as if another person is actually with them. The term for this is the 3rd man factor or 3rd man syndrome.

This presence is seen and felt so strongly to the point British alpine climber Frank Smyth tried to share a cake with them. Or seeing a 4th man during an antarctica expedition of only 3 from Sir Ernest Shackleton. This presence guides them, comforts them, and leads them back to safety. Then vanishes. Some have said it’s a coping mechanism, others say an angel. The 3rd man seem to appear in the direst circumstances when no external help is possible. So who is he?

Despite all possibilities, angel or coping mechanism, I feel like there is an obvious answer. If you look at all the world religions and compare, there many spiritual figures all of which offer esoteric wisdom, enlightenment or supernatural powers. All except one. There is only one spiritual figure that “leads”, “comforts” and “protects” especially the lost. So much so his character is described as The Shepherd, who goes out to find the lost wherever they are and brings them back to the fold. He famously speaks about leaving the 99 sheep to find the 1 which is lost.

If you look at the obligations of real-life working shepherds, this is something they are constantly doing. Sheep are notorious for being stubborn, undisciplined, going where they shouldn’t and getting lost. Sheep will, in spite of tremendous efforts, insist on eating dead brown grass, drink from muddy dirty fecal water, wander off, and become cast. Cast is when the sheep lays down on its side, but due to it’s center of gravity rolls onto their back. The sheep panics and tries to get up. It can’t. A cast sheep can die in a few hours when it's hot, or several days in cool weather. So, it is an urgent need for the Shepherd to find it. The shepherd scans the flock every morning, sees who is missing, finds the rogue cast sheep, and right-sides them up. When a shepherd finds it's sheep, he runs towards them as every minute counts. He will pick up the sheep and rub their limbs to bring circulation back. The shepherd doesn’t condemn the sheep, he’s just relieved to find it. Sheep are completely dependent on the Sheppard for fresh food, clean water, and survival in serious spite of it's waywardness. Whoever described sheep as someone who follows the crowd easily is not considering their nature. Sheep are labour intensive, unruly rascals. A herd of loud clouds with a penchant for disobedience.