Brant gets (more) fit

When I was wheeled back to a room on the first floor, the clock wouldn't move. I tried to occupy myself with Twitter, but service wasn't great. There I was, staring at the clock and thinking of every outcome. There's a 98 percent chance this is a gallbladder issue.

But the two-percent chance? It's going to be something that doctors have never seen before and I'm going to be one of those people on CNN who is battling some kind of flesh-eating disease and Elton John is going to write a song about me. I'm going to die. I'm going to die before the third season of House of Cards. Worst of all, I'm going to die without clearing my browser history.

I went through every scenario for what this might be and how, on a serious note, in five minutes, my life might change for the next five years or longer.

Good evening friends and people who accidentally clicked this link.

Last week was a good one because, although I struggled, I got it together and plowed through some pretty good workouts. Thursday and Friday were especially awesome.

It's been a heck of a two weeks, y'all.

Last week was, by far, the most busy week of my professional adult life. I ended up writing 7,500 words over 11 stories in six days, which included covering five games on deadline. 

Such is life, the past week of Insanity has been a mixed bag of positives and negatives. The key is building on positives and flushing the negatives. That’s something I've had trouble with in the past.

The first negative is that I missed a workout Friday because I slept in and then got tied up with work stuff, which I tried to justify because keeping my job is important. The bottom line is, that had I not slept in, I wouldn’t have missed the workout.

The positive is that I got right back on the horse on Saturday and had one of the better workouts I’ve ever had. Just absolutely destroyed it for the duration and ate a healthy dinner. The negative is that I think I ate too little, and started to get really shaky and my left arm was feeling dead. That triggered something from the past.

The toughest part of this whole thing relates to something that happened to me when I was 20.  After my dad died, I was dealing with a bit of anxiety by mostly putting it into working out. I was way out of shape, and overworking myself with running and weights. One night, I had gone so hard that I damaged my left shoulder to the point that my left arm went almost entirely numb while I was driving. Being the out of shape mess that I was, I immediately assumed heart attack and luckily, I was just a few blocks from the hospital. I know that my shoulder occasionally feels dead, and I know it’s unrelated to my heart. It has improved significantly, but still, eight years later, it pops up occasionally.

The positive on Monday is that I woke up with a ton of energy, ready to get back to work. Diet was good (bagel for breakfast, pimento cheese sandwich and celery with ranch for lunch.) By the end of the workday though, I couldn’t keep my eyes on open and decided to take a quick nap before my workout. The negative, I woke up at 9:30. To compound that negative, I couldn’t get myself going and felt incredibly weak. This led to a trip to Taco Bell in which I bought entirely too much food.

The positive is that I ate only half of it, and put the rest in the fridge for another time.

The positive for Tuesday is that I plowed through my Monday workout, and I’ll stay on schedule by skipping the recovery day on Thursday.

Overall, I’m pleased so far. My energy level is rising and with some things that might have previously derailed me, like missing a workout or making food mistakes, I’ve gotten up the next day and gotten through it. My diet has been mostly good, but there have been missteps because I haven’t planned meals. That’s going to be the difference between good results and great results, so I reckon I’ll change it.

Also, since music is such an important part of working out for me, here’s the Spotify playlist I’m using. It’s collaborative, so I would love for y’all to add some songs. Careless Whisper is already on there. Don’t even think about it.

This is my excited face following my best workout yet. So much wow: 

After getting in a 'preview' last week when I got fed up with my jiggly torso, I officially started on the Insanity calendar tonight.

I'm very familiar with all of the Insanity moves, and yet, last Thursday during plyometric cardio circuit, I vomited at the 19:30 mark during mountain climbers. I mean, like, had to walk outside and collect myself because I wanted to make sure that someone found my body. This would probably be a good time to invest in a dog that can dial 911/put a casserole in the oven.

Saturday (power cardio and resistance) was one of the better workouts I've ever had. When I get into competition, I automatically go caveman and revert to the 'haters' argument. You say I can't do algebra? Whatever. I can do power jumps. You're the idiot, pal.

Tonight was the fit test. Fit test is terrible because it's a referendum on who you are as a person. Are you going to go easy and make it easy on yourself later to beat the mark, or are you going to destroy yourself to the verge of crawling up the stairs? Going easy on the fit test is in line with being a Dwight Howard fan — I've already made up my mind on you.

Naturally, I pushed myself to the point that I had to crawl around on the floor for a bit. Like I said, having done this before and being very familiar with the movements, my numbers are very high for the first fit test. Switch kicks: 108 Power jacks: 68 Power knees: 114 Power jumps: 60 Globe jumps: 18 Suicide jumps: 17 Push-up jacks:26 Low plank oblique: 58

These were the numbers when I first did Insanity, two years ago when I was at around 30 percent bodyfat. 

Switch kicks: 86 Power jacks: 55 Power knees: 70 Power jumps: 43 Globe jumps: 10 Suicide jumps: 12 Push-up jacks: 10 Low plank oblique: 34

The first workout is the easiest. Now, the real fun begins. 

I’ve done this once before and got a great response, when I did the first month of Insanity a few years ago to drop 15+ pounds and get myself to a place where I could run a couple of miles without dying. (There are some pretty awesome videos of me vomiting mid-workout on YouTube, thanks to my former roommate!)

Since then, I’ve definitely continued to improve my overall fitness level, but for the most part, I don’t think I’ve consistently challenged myself or stayed on a routine. I binge for a few weeks, wear out my (injured) hip and then the whole plan falls apart and I wake up broke and alone wearing my shame hoodie and covered in McDonalds’ receipts.

My routine has gotten too routine. I run mostly, and I sometimes lift. I briefly tried Crossfit and enjoyed it, but got sidetracked with work/personal/washing my hair and haven’t been back. Maybe I should go back? Maybe I should find some money.

Ultimately, this is my way of holding myself accountable. And it’s another way for me to have some fun with writing. As I learned last time, there’s nothing more effective than a public humiliation diet.

Given the amount of free hot dogs forced upon sportswriters, it’s time to nip this thing in the bud. It would be unbecoming of me to write about the performance of athletes if I couldn’t get up the stairs.

The plan?

I’m going to start by doing the first month of Insanity again. From there, I might do the second month or I might make the jump to something of similar intensity to switch it up.

The fun (and regrets) begin this evening.