Story Of A Girl

the grief I have for him is unimaginable.

I hope he thinks of me too sometimes.

I hate remembering last July. The pain was so unbearable. I wish I could go back & not of asked anything about our potential. I am an avoidant too so what did that do for me. Knowing that I am simply just hurting myself.

I wonder if he's close to living his dreams like he always wanted too. He is most likely making more money, and I have noticed he is traveling more. This is big for him. I wish I could let him know how much I loved him. I have always been in the background supporting his wins. He just didn't choose to see me. I think about his family a lot. I wonder how his brothers are doing.

I wanted to marry him. I wanted to have his child.

He wanted to run as far away as he could.

you find a home in a boy.

he holds the fire in your heart

he makes you laugh

he protects you

you trust him

you fall in love

& then one day

he leaves

without warning.

now your home

is burning down

all of your past feelings

come crashing down

all you have known

the safety is gone.

at night

I still dream of him

this time we get things

in this imperfect world

right for once.

we heal our attachment

styles & we build a new home

this time with extra safety,

and protection just in case