18 year-old Musicholic

there’s this character that’s a school bus.. like… a normal human school bus… Not a school bus designed to transport other cars, like Mack or the helicopter from the first movie, but like… designed to carry humans inside of her?? she even references the school district she’s from?? if she was from a car school wouldn’t she be designed to carry cars not people?? is the Cars universe a post-apocalyptic nightmare world where sentient cars wiped out the humans or what??

there’s one part where Lightning McQueen fixes something by taping it back together offscreen and I’m like?? how?? you don’t have hands???

Cruz comments that something is high quality and made out of real metal but isn’t that sort of like something being made out of human skin or bones or something

a lot of the movie is about how Lightning feels inferior to the newer younger cars, but… where are they coming from?? do the cars procreate? do they just… build new cars? who is building these new cars?? and if they’re being built why can’t Lightning just get some newer parts to help him compete??

there are child cars, so… how do they get older? are their parents replacing their parts every year? are they somehow growing organically?? does it have to do with whatever horrific event wiped out humanity?

there’s a part where lightning gets all four of his wheels removed and isn’t that sort of gruesome?? aren’t those like, his legs? and wait so every time he gets a pitstop he’s getting his legs ripped off and replaced with new ones?????

why the fuck do touchscreens exist in the Cars universe THEY DON’T HAVE HANDS

why do the cars have tongues and teeth if they run on gas

all the girl cars have car eyeliner ~so you can tell that they’re girls~ but how the hell do they apply it WITH NO HANDS

if there are car billionaires, then there is car money. who is on the car money? are there car presidents? is one of them Gerald Ford? where do cars keep their car money? in their trunks? do they have car wallets? but if they keep their wallets in their trunks isn’t that like keeping your wallet in your buttcrack all the time?

Sally implies that Lightning McQueen is smelly after being a shut-in for months… so… the cars can sweat? they have sweat glands? is there car deodorant or do they just go to car washes? where would they put the car deodorant? are their wheel wells their armpits? how do they put on car deodorant WITHOUT HANDS

Folks, I need to warn you

I’ve been seeing a sudden surge of use of the word ‘thot’ and I’m concerned

We’ve recently seen at least one ancient Egyptian deity resurrected through meme magic

Thoth is a significantly more powerful member of the pantheon than Kek and the consequences of summoning him may be even more drastic than the rebirth of Kek (Brexit, Trump winning the election, a series of celebrity deaths)

The phrase ‘return the bones thot’ radiates an obvious mystical power and it may herald that Thoth will come to preside over 2017 as Kek has presided over 2016 - the bones possibly refer to the millions of mummified ibises buried in his honor at his main temple in Khmun, by reblogging that post you may be unknowingly beseeching this ancient and powerful being to repay the thousands of years of sacrifices humanity once offered him - what form that might take, we can only speculate

Although it’s possible that Thoth has been with us for a while - his name in Greek letters is Θώθ, which is clearly referenced in the ‘OwO what’s this?’ meme

As the inventor of both magic and science and keeper of all wisdom, Thoth assuredly does know what ‘this’ is, but I’m not sure we want to find out

I’m also concerned that Thoth’s wife Ma’at may be connected to the frequent seemingly compulsive and superfluous use of the word ‘mate’ or ‘m8′ in memes

*googles Θώθ*

I’ve loved reading your stories. Let me tell you mine.

by reddit user Sergeant_Darwin

I’ll be posting new, different stories on my personal blog, please be sure to follow @sixpenceeeblog

I read my first nosleep story when I was a freshman in college. I was in bed one evening, surfing the web and I decided that I wanted to scare the shit out of myself. The internet is home to a lot of strange things, as I’m sure many of you know, and I found a few of them that night—but nothing piqued my interest more than this community.

Reading all of your experiences over the years has been strangely cathartic, for I too have known horror. I’ve never been in a haunted house, or caught a glimpse of anything paranormal; I’m not even sure I believe in such things. But no demon or monster or vengeful spirit from the depths could tell me more than what I already know: evil walks among us. I have more than glimpsed it. I have stared it in the face.

Burn

by reddit user Cymoril_Melnibone

I’m not an interesting man.

Or at least, I wasn’t before the accident.

‘Utterly average’ only begins to scrape the tip of the iceberg that is my mediocrity; barely encapsulating the mind-numbing boringness of my existence. At school, I flew under the radar, never quite failing, but never exceptional. My hobbies were mundane; a bit of football and a lot of computer gaming. I excelled at nothing but wasting time. I was uninterested in the interesting, and enamoured of the banal. World of Warcraft sucked away the last chances I had of bettering myself, leaving me an inadequately skilled and poorly prepared adult who couldn’t hack it at college.

I found a list I’ve never see before in my kitchen. It’s in my handwriting.

by reddit user Jaksim

It all started with an unfamiliar line of dried blood on my cheek. Where did this blood come from? Not from me – I examined my entire body in the bathroom and I couldn’t even find a scrape. My head felt… empty. It’s not just that I couldn’t remember where the blood came from – I couldn’t remember anything.

It all began this morning. I awoke to a ray of sunlight sitting on my eyelids. Groaning, I rotated my neck towards my alarm clock. 11:00 AM. I pulled myself out of bed reflexively and walked a few feet to the bathroom. I saw the blood in the mirror and realized that I couldn’t remember anything.

My record deal is imminent!