veni, vidi, vici

“How do you know the sex would be hot?” She teased. “I have a theory -when it came down to it, I think you’d buckle under pressure,” she joked, looking next to him with a grin. “I’m sure I’ll be okay but for the record, how would you have done it? This supposed proposal, I mean? Do doves fly overhead and when I’m really distracted, you ride on by on an elephant and pop the question? Or is white tiger more your style of delivery?” She grinned, making her way to the bench where she poured herself some wine, and then him, pushing the glass of wine towards him. 

“Uh...are you drunk?”

She couldn’t help but blush at his words and looked away quickly. “I think if we were married, we would totally kill each other before we had time to hire a private chef,” she laughed, chopping up vegetables and then turning to him. “But I didn’t take you for the marrying sort of person -does that mean you choose me?” She joked. “This whole time, these training sessions where just some way to sneak in a marriage proposal?” 

“Oh, my God, what are you doing?” 

She took the phone tentatively out of his hand and pulled a face when the photo came into focus. She stared at it for a moment, her mouth down-turned and then handed it back, wordlessly. “Well, I guess I can see the appeal,” she said and then shrugged. “I have no use for money, Toby, I need a favour from you as well. I know your company deals with investments for one of my biggest competitors, now I’m not asking you to do anything...illegal...but I just need the name of their head of investments and a phone number. That’s it. One phone number and this girl with the flexible legs goes away.”

Uh. Ew. No. Do you think everyone wants you to drop their pants and exchange sex for everything? You need to get that checked out. Either by a therapist or a doctor to make sure you don’t...you know. No, I don’t want to have sex with you. I need a no questions asked favour. It means I’ll call you, whenever I like, and I get one thing and you can’t say no, no matter what it is. 

Liz kept her straight face and nodded. “Of course, it’s a miracle we’ve carried on in this conversation without me stripping right here and right now demanding you to take me on that bus bench right there,” she rolled her eyes. “Right, Amelia Oliver. I need a picture, if you have one. And do you want a run of the mill scaring or the full Elizabeth Bradshaw service? Because that’ll cost you.”

And you think I can do that? Just because my dad is the director, you think I can just pull some strings and get you a full government background check? Because I can. But it comes at a price and I really don’t think you can pay it.

“Oh,” she nodded. “That makes sense, but I’m warning you now, I’m terrible at cooking so this is only for sustenance, not taste. So no making fun of me.” She smiled. “I think chicken has to be cooked all the way through otherwise you could get salmonella. And you know, use salt?” 

“Well, I’m going to need more information about this mystery woman -what has she done to warrant the psycho label?” Liz crossed her arms over her chest and smirked. “So how did you meet this charmer? And she’s clearly smitten by you, isn’t she? Who can blame her,” she teased. 

“Well, I am pretty ruthless, you’ve come to the right person for some classic fear tactics,” she grinned. “Who’s the girl and what’s the problem with her? First of all, are you sure you don’t like her?” 

Liz laughed slightly before her expression changed. “Oh, my god, you’re serious. You need my help? Me? You must be really desperate to come to me.”

“I’m the last person you want to stand up? What does that mean?” She asked, confused and slightly blushing. Thank goodness it was dark, or he would see the flush spreading across her cheek. “That’s good because I was ready for a training session, I have been psyching myself up for it all morning, so I have heaps of adrenaline rushing through my body,” she punched him lightly in the shoulder. “Sapphire’s going to stay with him? But...why?” She blurted out. “And how do you...feel about that?” 

“I’ll only be allowed in if I have bells? Sounds like it’s going to be the best party ever, to be honest Mason,” she began to laugh, picturing herself in the getup. “Flora?” Liz was surprised, that being the last thing she had expected him to say, or in fact, the last person she had assumed he would talk about. “I’m the best person to ask? You know Flora and I have just rekindled our relationship, right? And by that, I mean we had this weird, really polite lunch. Are you sure you want to ask me, and not like one of her really good friends?”

She had felt like a total stalker, sitting on his front steps with a coffee and her purse, and she was glad he showed up. “I was beginning to think you’d stood me up or something,” she joked and shrugged. “It’s okay, I wasn’t waiting very long anyway,” she smiled. “We can do this another time if you don’t feel up to it?”