Brooke

“we’re not suitable for each other” — the words spilled out of katsuki’s mouth faster than his mind could think, sitting on the bench by the park, the moon high in the sky, illuminating its soft glow onto the lake below, the tiny waves causing a shimmer. you were calm, collected, as if you were expecting this to come. your fingers fiddled with each other, the distance between you two on the bench spoke levels to the tension that sparked.

“i saw it coming” you mumbled, sighing softly under your breath, eyes avoiding katsuki’s crimson eyes. it was obvious, ever since the war, katsuki drifted further away from you, no longer seeking your attention anymore. you felt absolutely crushed, you’ve taken so much time to break down katsuki’s walls, only for it to build back up around you. “it's because of the war, right? after midoriya lost his quirk.”

katsuki took a deep breath, he hated how easily you saw through him, it wasn’t just that, he felt too vulnerable around you, it scared him. “yeah, i still want to be number one, since my right arm’s busted, i have to work harder. no distractions. you’ll only get in the way.” his words hitting harder than a bullet going through your heart, at least that would have been instant, compared to this.

you sat there, slumped against the bench, staring up at the moon, feeling colder than usual. your eyes searched for katsuki’s, watching him carefully. his palms constantly wiping against his sweatpants, eyes suddenly finding the ground interesting. “then, if that’s so, let’s take a break and see where this goes.”

your suggestion makes katsuki stiffen, he did imply a break, but he didn’t expect you to take it so easily, shouldn't you yell, scold him for being so selfish? he nodded his head, resting his chin against the palm of his hand, sweat starting to form, his emotions were haywire. was this the right decision for both of you? you two sat there, a pregnant pause fell between both of you, enough to make katsuki think more than he wanted. before he could even say another word, you stood up, looking at katsuki, waiting for him to finally make eye contact with you. that was when he noticed, your trembling lips, glossy eyes, nose getting red from holding back your tears. you bit your lip, letting out a heavy sigh to compose yourself.

“take care of yourself kats” you managed to choke up the words you meant to say before walking away, back to the dorms. katsuki sat there, staring at the empty lake, the ducks that were usually there gone, the two swans he would see every time he went for a jog not there, you were not there. the distance between the two of you growing even more after tonight, and katsuki doesn’t know whether he liked it. his eyebrows knitted together before grumbled quiet profanities under his breath, for the shadows that lurked behind him to listen to as he went back to the dorms. just like that, you slipped away from katsuki’s life.

days turned into weeks, seasons passed, the year was reaching its end. everyone grew older and stronger, yet katsuki felt empty, his strength was returning, his right arm was starting to heal, but something was missing. you. why the hell was he so caught up with the thought of you enjoying yourself without him by your side. why did you radiate more brightness without him by your side? why was he the only one feeling this aching pain that constantly gnawed on his heart, but your didn’t? at night, the thoughts were worse, nothing to distract him but his overwhelming thoughts about you, everything about you constantly playing in a loop.

katsuki was the one who said that they weren’t suitable, the one who caused the fall between the both of you, so why was he feeling so goddamn sick? how were you able to move on so fast, while he was stuck here, mopping about what the two of you had.

however, katsuki was still katsuki. despite growing gentler after the inevitable war, the remnants of his ego still lingered, he knows he can grow without you by his side, he can be the best hero without you applauding him, or waiting for him at home. he has plans, and he doesn’t want you to be involved, he has established that ever since he uttered those words. he can do without you, definitely…

as the days grew longer and colder, the loneliness katsuki felt within his heart bit him hard. movements sharp but sluggish, without his number one emotional support system, he felt weak, but wasn’t this what he wanted? to focus on becoming the number 1 pro hero, finally surpassing midoriya.

now, katsuki had finally realised, the distance made him realise, you were an important part of his life and he wanted you back.

yearning—it eats a person inside out, making them miss the endless possibilities that never happened, it remains even when closeness isn’t allowed. katsuki learned this the hard way, by choice.

with you laughing and giggling with mina, probably talking about sappy shit, that was what he used to call it, katsuki would just watch from a distance. eyes soft and longing, hoping for some sort of miracle, wishing for too much. his heart ached in a way where he couldn’t tell if it was because of his high blood pressure or his desperation for you.

katsuki was just a boy, a boy who was confused about his own pride and feelings.

katsuki missed when you would run to him after a long day of class, wrapping your arms around him, the warmth now cold. now, you would casually brush past him, eyes meeting before pulling away. a small interaction like this made katsuki’s heart race like a little boy all over again, but how can he salvage the ties he purposely broke?

winter holidays were around the corner, students were allowed to leave the dorms and return back to their homes, giving them the rare opportunity to visit their families. as students were piling the front gate, rushing to finally leave UA to meet their beloved families, katsuki found himself slowing down. he saw you, taking your own sweet time packing and walking out of the dorms. his eyes flickered to you as you slung your duffel bag across your shoulders, eyes glued to the ground, ears plugged in with the wired earbuds you used to share with him.

katsuki quickened his pace, grabbing your shoulder, mentally cursing himself for acting before putting any thought to it. when you turned around, staring at him with those pretty eyes of yours, eyebrows raised, lips pouting slightly. he wanted to kiss you right there and then, how dare you still look so pretty while he was fighting his inner demons.

“i– uhm.” katsuki stuttered, removing the hand on your shoulder, watching you carefully, to gauge your reaction, to see if you were uncomfortable. when you fully turned to him, he felt his world stop, you were making him weak and vulnerable. he would have hated this feeling in the past, but now? he was reveling in it, this lovesick feeling.

“i’m sorry.” he blurted,

“the distance we placed between each other made me grow, and i’m sorry for the things i said to you that night.” katsuki took a deep breath, adjusting the strap on his shoulder, “you’re not a distraction to my goals, you’re someone i want to keep throughout my life. these past few months made me realise how stupid and immature i was.”

you observed katsuki, trying to see if he was lying or trying to make a fool out of you, but nothing. he was genuine. you were about to speak, shut him up, but he beat you to it, spilling his feelings. something you’ve never seen before.

“i was just confused. you showered me with so much love and affection, i felt bare and vulnerable, and i hated that feeling. i thought… that meant i was weak for folding for someone, but you only made me stronger. i feel so stupid for ever establishing that distance between us in the first place.”

“kat–”

“no, i’m sorry, if you hate me because of that, i’m fine, i just want you to reject me, so i can move on.”

“no wait–” he wasn’t listening.

“i just needed to tell you what i’m feeling, ah.. i’m so sorry for everything. it has been eating me up everyday.”

“liste–” nothing was getting through his ears.

“i hated myself for hurting you, i hated myself for being so emotionally weak, i’m–”

“katsuki, just listen to me.” your voice suddenly made its way to his thoughts as he looked up at you, blonde bangs covering his eyes, casting a shadow over them, nose and mouth slightly buried in his scarf, warming his face up.

“i don’t hate you for that night… i just hated how egotistical you were, but i was in the wrong too. i was wrong to overstep your boundaries–”

“no fuck, don’t say that, you didn’t overstep anything. i was okay with everything you did, i was just scared." katsuki cuts you off, grabbing your wrist gently, pursing his lips before letting out a soft sigh. his eyes searching for yours for reassurance, the grip around your wrist tightening gradually, but not tight enough to hurt you.

“you were nothing but good to me, i was the one pulling you down, not the other way round.” katsuki muttered, letting out a groan, covering his face with a hand. why were you still so cute even during a serious conversation like this?

“if… i asked you to be mine again, would you let me?”

your eyes widened before softening, nodding your head. you knew katsuki would be able to change, that’s why you kept your distance despite wanting to go back to him every time you saw his dejected look. his rough edges now smoothen out, softer than before. it felt almost rewarding to see this side of him.

katsuki gave you a boyish smile, before tugging you closer to him, wrapping his arms around your waist, burying his face into the crook of your neck, mumbling.

“can we go home now?”

you let out a soft, contented hum. your sweet boy was back, back in your arms.

at the end of the day, katsuki wasn’t just some emotionally constipated boy anymore, he was your sweet boy, the one you’d always call home.