PROLOGUES:

Based of George Washington crossing the Delaware, I’ve deduced that all of our most patriotic shit happens on Christmas. *hint* *hint* Robert Mueller

“What are we doing tonight, Brain?” “Same thing we do every night, Pinky: cry ourselves to sleep and maybe the dishes”

It only takes one person to fuck up how an entire bloodline poops

Just making sure that newly out, or questioning lgbtqia+ individuals know that you don’t gotta be a bear, or a twink, or a domme, or a sub, or butch or ANYTHING. You can just be you. Far as I know being gay ain’t D&D.

Star Wars gets a lot weirder when you really think about how badly Luke Skywalker took the news that he’s probably half black

I’m here to eat ass and chew bubblegum, and I’m all out of bubblegum. Can somebody give me some bubblegum? My mouth tastes like ass

I’ve taken to reading lmao as (capital) imao, for “In my amazing opinion” and it’s made a lot of things feel better. In my amazing opinion, you’re so funny

Next time you think we aren’t moving forward as a society just remember that there used to be a cartoon whose whole premise was a skunk trying to low-key rape a cat