Botanic Gold

its probably just the SADS again but my god it aches

i keep thinking of “your soulmate would actually want to be with you” but i think once he met me he decided he could do better

i don’t think i get a true love in this lifetime

i tried really hard not to be afraid of asking for help. i just learned more reasons to be afraid. asking for help doesn’t mean you’ll get it. your friends can still leave you scared or in danger. your family can still turn away and ignore your cries. and worse, those that do help you can expect reimbursement for their kindness. in one way or another. you only get saved if you want to get saved. and sometimes you don’t.

So like how do you tell someone that if they’d just stop fucking up you’d be great together?

I think I hate looking at my ex’s profile pictures because I took every single one of them. he hated them all at the time. Now we aren’t together and I have to look at him through my past eyes and everyone can see how I saw him in that moment. It feels insulting that he gets to keep the memories, all the shiny moments, and project them to the world, while I remember how all of that faded and how it felt like it was my fault when that smile would fade when his eyes caught the camera

if i saw him, id still kiss him

honestly im so hot and not having a boyfriend to appreciate how hot i am right now is a crime