lost and insecure

❛ Honey, please, try to love me. ❜

❛ I called your name ‘til the fever broke. ❜

❛ Don’t you ever tame your demons, but always keep them on a leash. ❜ 

❛ It looks ugly, but it’s clean. ❜

❛ Babe, there’s something tragic about you. ❜

❛ Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know. ❜

❛ But I want it, it’s a crime that she’s not around most of the time. ❜

❛ Her fight and fury is fiery, oh but she loves like sleep to the freezing. ❜

❛ I prayed my mind be good to me. ❜

❛ With her sweetened breath, and her tongue so mean, she’s the angel of small death and the codeine scene. ❜

❛ It’s bloody and raw, but I swear it is sweet. ❜

❛ So tired trying to see from behind the red in my eyes, no better version of me I could pretend to be tonight. ❜

❛ Would things be easier if there was a right way? Honey, there is no right way. ❜

❛ I fall in love just a little, oh a little bit every day with someone new. ❜

❛ My lover’s got humor, she’s the giggle at a funeral. ❜

❛ There’s an art to life’s distractions. ❜

❛ I raised a stone to end his pain. ❜

❛ When I was a child, I heard voices… Some would sing and some would scream. ❜

❛ Cause with my mid-youth crisis all said and done, I need to be youthfully felt ‘cause, God, I never felt young. ❜

❛ We tried the world, good God, it wasn’t for us.  ❜

❛ I turned and ran to save a life I didn’t have. ❜

❛ But my peace has always depended on all the ashes in my wake. ❜

❛ I wake at the first cringe of morning, and my heart’s already sinned. ❜

❛ Always a well dressed fraud, who wouldn’t spare the rod. Never for me. ❜

❛ I was born sick, but I love it. Command me to be well. ❜

❛ Freshly disowned in some frozen devotion, no more alone or myself could I be. ❜

❛ I clutched my life, and wished it kept. My dearest love, I’m not done yet. ❜

❛ No shortage of sordid, no protest from me. ❜

❛ I have never known peace like the damp grass that yields to me. ❜

❛ Two corpses we were, two corpses I saw. ❜

❛ All that I’ve been taught, and every word I’ve got, is foreign to me. ❜

❛ I have never known hunger like these insects that feast on me. ❜

❛ You’ve done me wrong for a long, long time. But after all you’ve done I never changed my mind. ❜

❛ Honey, you know that’s my love bursting loud from inside. ❜

❛ I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife. ❜

❛ The purest expression of grief. ❜

❛ Lord, it’d be great to find a place we could escape sometime. ❜

❛ Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword. ❜

❛ I found something in the woods somewhere. ❜

He didn’t know who this girl was, had absolutely NO idea why he was still following  her and was CERTAINLY not going to offer to get said blood bags for her. Nope. He was a decent guy but not that decent. “I could help you out with that – like I said, I know what it’s like to try and AVOID that dark place.” dammit stefan. “Yeah, because a diary is a great way to make an opinion about someone.”

“well, i try to be a little bit optimistic. anything is possible,” she reasoned softly, her expression becoming just a tad gentler before she offered him a bag of chips. “want some? i got pretzels, too. cheetos. i have a secret stash here.” the girl was pretty possessive about her snack foods, but could you blame her? she was surrounded by selfish people who took whatever they wanted without a care. a girl had to protect her stuff. “they’re not all my family. just my mom. she gave birth to me, after all. the rest of themn are just... people i happen to see all of the time. doesn’t mean they’re family.” she smirked slightly, popping a chip into her mouth. “and you have no idea how much that pisses lily off. she tells me it really hurts her feelings that i don’t wanna be some child to her. grand child. whatever.”

Blue eyes fell back on her. If he had heard correctly, it sounded as if her mother  knew him well enough to dislike him – unless Lily had told so many awful things about he and Damon that the hate stemmed from the simple stories. He doubted it. “Assuming all of the blood bags in the basement of the house have been long gone, the hospital would be your best chance. It’s not too difficult to sneak into there and compel your way through.” Stefan tried to subtly bring the topic of her mother back up. “So – Lily must talk about me a lot, if your mother doesn’t know me personally, surely she’s listened to the awful things my mother says about her children.”

“okay, that’s a good point. you all just need to sit down and stop trying to kill each other. honestly, it’s exhausting.” and she wasn’t even a part of it -- simply had to hear about it. the girl moved into the empty restaurant, glancing back at him curiously. marlene wasn’t too sure why he was still following her, truth be told. she didn’t have anything of value, not even information. nobody really told her anything except for stoiries of the past.

                                                                sometimes i feel

                                                                      like i am

it’s literally the best thing ever?? you can have two characters traveling the country??  learning more about themselves?? learning more about their friends??

you can literally apply this to any couple.  otp?? no problem.  ot3??  hell fuckin’ yeah.  ot5?? you may need to rent a bus for that.

driving shitty rental cars and living off of gas station food and going way too fast down highways with the radio up

alternately: “hell no you cannot survive off of gas station candy I’m taking us to a real restaurant”

getting lost on the way to the restaurant and having to ask for directions at a remote little souvenir shop

going to tourist traps just to buy shitty souvenirs for each other and compete for the most tacky ones.

traveling to super crowded cities and taking a couple of days off just to enjoy the feeling of being lost.  driving down winding country roads and opening all the windows because it’s like being found.

which member of your otp wants to go to super sophisticated cities and which one wants to visit the world’s largest ball of yarn?

staying in shitty motels, okay?  the kind of creepy-not-quite-real aesthetic of neon lights and soft linen and staying awake all night listening to the other person breathe.

alternately: you literally get the chance to write the scenario where the characters trade off seats during the night and the driver keeps looking at their sleeping companion and getting distracted because of the way the moonlight bounces off of their face and ugh

taking turns deciding on the next destination and characters declaring things like “oh my god, I hate the countryside” but they wind up loving it

car karaoke.  someone probably owns the complete collection of disney cds.  they probably take it very seriously.

He couldn’t help but laugh at her comment, of course they hated him. They had every right to. And he hated them, just as much. “The feeling is mutual, trust me.” When it came to Lily, however, he didn’t quite know how he felt about her. Before  she had magically returned, he had only loved her. Thought nothing but wonderful things about his mother. But now —- “your mom knows me?” He just BARELY  caught her name, thoughts clouding together. He was silent for a long moment, before finally coming out of his daze, “I’m sure there’s some kind of animal roaming this ghost town.”

“maybe if you spent as much time getting to know them as you did trying to kill them, you would feel differently,” the blonde pointed out, finally stopping outside of what used to be the popular restaurant. and her safe house. the girl ran her fingers through long strands of blonde hair, eyes washing over him slowly. yeah. she might have been creepy with it. but she KNEW who he was and god knew if this was the first and only time she would ever see the man who gave her half of her dna code. so she was savoring this.

Of course she knew of him mother, she lived there. But it still surprised him that she knew he was her son. She still talks about him. How nice. He couldn’t imagine the things she said about him and his brother. “Yeah. I’m Lily’s son. I’m sure she and the other’s have only had such nice things to say about me.” A sigh slipped  through his lips, maybe he would stick around. Wouldn’t hurt. And he would be able to keep an eye on things. because it was his town. his home.

“why should i be the messenger and face the wrath of the ones i tell that to? no, thank you. my mother can have quite the temper and i really don’t want to get on her bad side.” she liked having a good family relationship, thank you very much, she wasn’t about to go ruin it by telling the woman that she didn’t own something. sorry. the girl sighed, glancing around to pinpoint just how much farther she needed to go. god. she was hungry.

“To be fair, this was MY town before the heretics took it over and forced everyone, including my friends and family, out of it.” Nope. He wasn’t still bitter about that. At least she wasn’t as insane as the others. Killing for fun. Or killing simply because someone stepped foot in the town. “Stefan Salvatore,” he offered, “and control is sort of my specialty.” Of course that was a joke, but she wouldn’t understand. 

He couldn’t decide if he still wanted to follow the girl. She seemed level- headed, but of course that could be a ploy. A way to get him to leave, and he wanted to know more. This was still him home, and he had helped patrol the streets with Matt before he had left. 

“YOUR town? funny, i don’t remember anybody owning it,” she chirped from where she was walking, knowing that he would be able to hear her whether he followed or not. but it was the name. the name had her stopped, eyes widening although he couldn’t see. she knew that name. she knew it very, VERY well. so well, in fact, that the moment he said it, she was convinced that this might be a dream. play it cool, she told herself, hands clenching into fists at her sides.