Borderline Baddie

WHAT

ARE

YOU

DOING???

This trend is not ok. It needs to stop. End of story.

This isn’t going to be one of those, “I hate people who self-dx! You’re evil!” posts that illogically rants about it or attacks people.  They typically have poor arguments and attack the person instead of logically explain why it is wrong, which is known in philosophy as “ad hominem.“ If you send me hate, that’s on you, and I will delete it. I am not writing this in an insensitive or rude manner. Many of the individuals on tumblr will flip out when rightfully challenged about all of their “self-diagnosies” and tell me to kill myself, that I am automatically ableist, and that I “just don’t understannddd!” and so on (once again, ad hominem). Let’s show some maturity and intelligence. If you dislike what it is I am saying, perhaps you are guilty of this. I am not attacking you. It just clearly needs to be pointed out.

To start off: I understand, and here is my story.

There are people who do this who are confused, hurting, and can’t get help, and sometimes they self-dx as a defense mechanism and as means of coping. At one point in my life, I was immensely distressed and confused by my feelings and symptoms. I self-diagnosed myself with dissociative identity disorder (DID) when I was 14. I did not post about it, but I convinced myself I had it. My dissociative state, which I now know was an entirely different disorder and cause, was so severe. I turned to self-dx to help with my fears, confusion, and anxiety about it. I see now how my experience wasn’t remotely similar to DID. To someone untrained at the time, yes, I can see how it can be confused. But that is the point: I had no idea. I would have been better off trying to help myself and manage it than attaching myself to some sort of label to feel “comfortable.” It did not help, but rather, made me preoccupied with symptoms I was afraid of having or thought I had. With this said, I understand each self-dx case is different and some are because they are so distressed and turn to it. I entirely understand that. That does not make it OK or healthy, however. That does not mean when you start to realize you may be doing this, you have some kind of excuse or right to continue to do so. When I understood how it was so harmful, ignorant, and biased, I stopped. In fact you will find a majority of the people who are so against self-diagnosis are those who may have done it in the past. They now realize just how much stress it caused them, how wrong they were, and how it is a major problem towards the mentally ill.

The problem:

As mentioned, each case is different. Sometimes they are confused, other times they are scared, other times, they are really not taking it seriously. Sometimes, it’s a mixture of many reasons. You cannot deny there are clearly people who add all of these illnesses as some sort of desirable and interesting trait, pull out a list of disorders on their blog to seem “soo interesting,“ and cling to the labels. It is all over Tumblr! Many people seriously want to attach all these labels to themselves and draw attention to it. No matter the reason, even if with good intentions like mine, it is still not ok, and is still a major mockery to the mentally ill. Most blogs are now: “I’m [name], self-diagnosed asperger’s, bpd, aspd, ptsd, ocd, depression……” “I’m [name] and I have antisocial personality disorder, avoidant personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, anger manifested depression, and (lists a bunch of illnesses that aren’t even diagnosable) …” “I’m [name] and I am manic-depressive, have chronic anxiety, bpd, bi-polar, autism….” “I am self-diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, ptsd, and bipolar disorder. I also might have dyslexia, adhd, and eating disorders.” People will seriously diagnose people over anons/asks or say whether or not what they are experience is a symptom of a certain disorder or not:

Seriously, people? It doesn’t matter how self-dx is done. Reading articles on google or databases does not make you qualified or educated enough. Reading books does not mean you know whether or not you have a disorder. It really doesn’t. It’s even worse when people tell me they self-dx and haven’t even done more than go over a list of symptoms! Doctors are not allowed to self-dx, so why would you? This leads to a HUGE release of misinformation and mockery. Apparently *everything* is a symptom now because someone on here randomly says it is, as you can see in the pictures above. The behaviors of some people on here make me ashamed of my actual mental illnesses, and I know I am not the only one. I am happy to see many others speaking up against this self-dx trend. Many people on here will freak out if anyone challenges how *interesting* they make themselves on their blog with their disorders, and then they will blame it on their *disorders. * Someone was diagnosed with about 10 mental illnesses on their blog, and when I nicely called them out, they harassed me. Later, they messaged me and said, “It was because of their disorders. I got so angry and harassed you because of my disorders, which is proof I have them.” So, on top of everything, many of them have given us a bad name. This happens OFTEN. All it takes is for someone to see it in all the tags and millions of blogs on here. It happens more often than many realize. The arguments for self-diagnosis are typically weak ones. They generally consist of: -You are ABLEIST because you discourage people learning about and expressing their mental health. You should not discourage someone to look into their struggles. -You just DON’T UNDERSTAND because some people can’t afford help, are in abusive homes, and so on. Except this doesn’t excuse self-dx, as mentioned. So let’s address each of these throughout the post.

Medical student syndrome.

As a soon to be psych grad student, here is a well-known term used to describe students who self-dx and worry about whether or not they have the disorders they learn about. This is not something unheard of. Psychologically, we may very well naturally try to put ourselves into the shapes and patterns of what we read and learn about.  When we read a book or watch a movie, we may put our life experiences into it. We see it from our perception. Sometimes, learning about symptoms aren’t any different. If I mention “severe migraines” we may think of a time we had a severe migraine. With the rise of technology, people tend to think they have the entire world in their hands and can suddenly diagnose themselves. You have to remember that while it is true for someone who has a disorder to become more aware of their symptoms the more they learn, someone is also highly likely to put themselves into what they learn about, worry about it, or misinterpret it as a symptom.   You cannot only pay attention to the information that is biased to your point. I saw an argument going around describing how self-dx is valid because it’s not that you start to attribute the symptoms to yourself, it’s that you become more aware of them the more you learn. Except that is less than half the story and goes against entirely how our perceptions naturally work, especially if someone actually has an anxiety disorder or phobia and out of worry, ends up actually diagnosing themselves with a bunch of other disorders instead. This can cause extreme distress upon them. It is far more likely to be biased with your perception. If I did not know what disorder I actually have, I can see how it can be placed into many others if I were unaware of it. As I mentioned, I did that, and most do. Mental illnesses are notorious for having overlaps—this is a clinical fact. If I was completely focused on bipolar disorder instead of what I actually have, I can see how I can put my symptoms into that, too. Quite frankly, I can put my symptoms into any disorder.

Differential diagnosis:

Differential diagnosis is more complicated than anyone can conjure up until they have completed grad school. People go to medical school and spend years in graduate school for this. The more I go through school, the more I realize how little I know—and I have been studying psychology for years. The more I learn, the more I realize how realistically complicated it is. I have come to humble myself even more throughout school, and honestly, part of realizing self-dx is wrong is humbling yourself to this understanding. In some sense, every mental illness can seem like another at some point in time. When I was diagnosed, I saw three psychologists, a psychiatrist, had blood work, and ruled out brain injuries and seizures. Differential diagnosis is not just to differentiate between mental illnesses; it is to ensure nothing physical is causing it. Literally every mental illness has an overlap, and I don’t say that lightly. This is because it is a spectrum.

Autism to some extent can seem like: depression, borderline personality disorder, anxiety disorder, ocd, another developmental disorder, adhd, and so on. I could say the same about all those disorders listed. Some symptoms from one thing can really be caused by another or seem to be caused by another, when in all reality, it isn’t. In all reality, it could be one, two, or none, of those disorders. Differential diagnosis is such a complex process, I would have to make a separate post about it to avoid making this post too long.

Diagnoses are hard to determine 

Arguments I sometimes hear are: (1) I saw my doctor and they diagnosed me the first day after some questions, so self-dx is ok. (2) After seeing my doctor for some time, they pulled out a checklist and diagnosed me. So it is ok to use the checklist yourself because that is how I was diagnosed. This is just completely absurd; it assumes one’s own perception and experience must be universally accurate. First, if someone has received a diagnosis within a few minutes, then it’s most likely wrong. It doesn’t take into account anything at all except for the conversation and analysis they had right then and right now. I am sorry to say the mental health field has its many problems, and a doctor who does that really should do a better job. It makes me cringe. I do realize some disorders can be more obvious than others, but it will not be like that for everyone, nor does it change the fact that the professional was the one who determined it. Second, if you were seeing a doctor for some time and they suddenly showed you a list of symptoms and asked if you “think you fit them,” they are not diagnosing you because of whether or not you think you do. They most likely already determined you have it through testing and analysis and are simply including you in the diagnostic process. They will have to tell you and show you at one point, won’t they? It is not always appropriate for a doctor to just go, “So…you have ____ disorder” as opposed to, “Do you think this explains you?” Imagine someone has a severe mental illness, and instead of discussing it with the patient, they just told them they have it. They need to include the patient. Evidently, it is important for a patient to explain if it describes their self-reported symptoms, and why it may not, for analysis too. But they do not ask you to determine the diagnosis entirely, no. Not at all. It may also show them exactly how aware you are of your symptoms if you go and deny it. I hate this argument because it goes to show how people assume they know whatever it is their doctor is doing and thinking.

The DSM is not a checklist.

The American Psychiatric Association admitted right on their website in 2012 that the DSM should not be used in a cookbook manner and that it is often misused. The main purpose is to provide lawful proof that an illness exists and causes x, y, and z main symptoms.  Before this, people could claim anyone was mentally ill or needed to be hospitalized based on word of mouth. People were abusing what “mentally ill” really was, or they kept trying to excuse people from crimes by saying they were mentally ill. Back then, there were no laws and criteria for explaining mental illness at all. What is “mentally ill?” What defines x, y, and z disorder, and what are x, y, and z symptoms? What the DSM provides is a convenient shorthand to the court, law, and other professionals. This does not mean it determines strictly in itself whether or not someone has a mental illness. This brings me up to my next point—its purpose is for convenient shorthand. Its purpose is for doctors to know the names and main symptoms of criteria so they know what they heck people are talking about and come to agreement about disorders. It is a brief overview and reference guide for professionals and does not cover their actual knowledge of these disorders. The DSM never intended, nor claimed, to be something in which both professionals and laypersons can just look at check off of a list. The DSM has disclaimers right inside claiming the purpose for shorthand. And if professionals intentionally did not set it up that way, then what makes you think you can accurately use it that way? Additionally, The International Classification of Diseases (ICD) by the World Health Organization (WHO) is another diagnostic shorthand criteria, used almost as often as the DSM in diagnosing mental illness. The criteria in these books and descriptions are not identical. They are similar enough for clinical purposes, and so there are no major controversies, yes (imagine just how much that can screw things up!), but it is not identical nevertheless. In the DSM, there is one type of Borderline Personality Disorder. In the ICD, there are two. In the DSM, they combined Asperger’s, Autism, and so on, into one spectrum. In the ICD, they did not. (No, it’s not that “Asperger’s” no longer exists. Asperger’s was always considered to be a spectrum of Autism. The just simply wrote it differently as one spectrum now). These books, at best, are arbitrary and resources to doctors and professionals for shorthand, rather than something that is some ultimate determinator of diagnosing illnesses. Research reveals this is actually a very arbitrary book with controversies. No, those online tests aren’t accurate checklists either for the same or similar reasons, nor are they typically professionally constructed.

Most of what people diagnose themselves with on here is not a diagnosable condition, or it is clinically inaccurate/controversial.

Now this is a major point.

People will put disorders on their blog that cannot co-occur, is not a diagnosable condition, or is somehow clinically controversial, uncommon, impossible, or inaccurate. Bipolar disorder and schizoaffective disorder? OR Schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder? You cannot have them both. Schizoaffective disorder is a mood/affective disorder with schizophrenia. You’d be saying you have the same thing twice. Major depression and bipolar disorder? You cannot have them both. Bipolar disorder is already saying you have major depression (with mania/hypomania). It is not possible for someone to have major depression twice. Psychosis? This is typically diagnosed as a symptom of a disorder and not as a diagnosis in itself. Manic depression and bipolar disorder? They are clinically the same disorder. A bunch of personality disorders at the age of 15? They are not diagnosed until adulthood. While it is crucial to realize the importance of detecting disorders early, and personality disorders are in some instances diagnosed before adulthood, diagnosing an adolescent with one is approached extremely cautiously in a clinical setting. The reason for this is the personality development completely alters throughout life and the psychosocial stages of development alter, which I explain more in this most somewhere. Histrionic and avoidant personality disorder? Extremely clinically controversial. Schizophrenia at 13 years old? Except this is clinically uncommon and does not typically occur. The phases of schizophrenia do not appear in this manner. You have both PTSD and Acute Stress disorder? Not possible. I really could go on 10000 pages about this point and most of what I see on tumblr.

Self-diagnosis is not the same as self-help, self-awareness, self-assessment, and self-advocacy.

There is a clear line between these two. You can look into your symptoms with the intent to help yourself and not self-dx. You can express yourself and become more aware of your struggles, without self-dx. You can “relate” and “look into what might help make sense of your experiences,” without self-dxing. Heck, you can even open up to your doctor about a concern you had about relating to a disorder, without self-dxing! There is a difference between, “I get angry a lot and I am going to try to recognize my triggers and find ways to cope with it, maybe even open up to someone about it.” Compared to, “I get angry a lot– I have BPD.” In fact, even those diagnosed really shouldn’t give the impression their diagnosis are trends and such. It’s just the fact that this isn’t ok AT ALL!! I am not saying that it isn’t ok to post on your about me. Society should never make someone feel like they have hide their mental disorders, but even to those who have one, it still would not be appropriate to present it as a trend, excuse, or the like. For example, although I have BPD, it is still possible for me to be mean to someone and simply say “it is because of my disorder,” or to self dx with other disorders, just to name two examples. These are not appropriate with or without a diagnosis. I deeply encourage people to stay mindful of their mental health. Mental health is just as important as physical health. Self-help books are immensely helpful—I recommend checking out New Harbinger Publications, as they have many self-help books. Moreover, online resources can prove helpful, whether it is a discussion or website about coping, self-help, and/or how to become more aware of our struggles. Identifying coping skills, recognizing your triggers, journaling, providing yourself closure with validation, self-evaluation, and so much more, are helpful and healthy ways to handle distress. Self-dx is a coping mechanism people often jump to that is not in itself helpful or a necessary condition. 

It is not good for you.

Simply, it is very well possible that if someone is chasing and clinging to a diagnosis, they’re not accepting themselves. They’re not going to feel better, and it won’t give them treatment. They are not going to move forward, they could focus on the possibility of a ton of disorders, possibly exaggerate, cause anxiety, preoccupations, and more. There is a huge aspect of denial to some who self-dx, too. Rather than dealing with the reality of the situation (something unhappy in life may be going on, or maybe there is the presence of a mental disorder they are missing and pushing aside because of their own preoccupations) they put all their focus to a label they determine.

Furthermore, the fact is it is very much possible the developmental phase of someone to cause much of the distress. Adolescents aged about 12-19 years are currently in a psychosocial developmental phase in their life called “identity vs. confusion.” This is the adolescent stage of Ericson’s Psychosocial Theory of Development. Adolescents reach a stage in life where they need to establish themselves, their independence, interests, friendships, find themselves and their passions, and find their “group/where they belong.” This clearly can make someone more likely to search for a cause for their issues. It is simply a fact that many individuals who self-dx are in this phase. No, it’s not to say you need to write it off as, “being a teenager.” Regardless of what it is connected to, it is still hurting you and still something that needs to be dealt with. What this doesn’t guarantee, however, is the presence of a mental illness. Puberty, hormones, and stages of development, can tremendously take a toll on someone, but you don’t need a mental illness to admit you have struggled in your life before. If you deny this fact, you really don’t know much about human biology and psychology. It is a fact that physically, one is undergoing dramatic changes at this phase, and multiple psychological changes are occurring. Any sort of event, situation, or perception, that seems to threaten this identity stage of development, naturally causes intense distress and confusion. It is called “identity vs. confusion” to explain the psychological development individuals go through. It is a complex process. Adolescents try to find harmony, they start to accept or reject parts of themselves to establish who they are, and so on. They may establish a false self, feeling as if they act like one person in some settings, but not in another. Sounds a little bit like a personality disorder to some of you, doesn’t it? Well, it’s not. It’s entirely different. This is a normal stage of development. I don’t want to hear any, “Oh, so you’re saying I’m unhappy because I’m a teenager?? Because of hormones!! You’re INVALIDATING ME!” or “Oh so you’re saying a mental illness only exists when diagnosed?????” No, no. These are arguments I sometimes see brought up on tumblr, and they make my stomach turn. I did not ever bring up or claim these points, and you will be minimizing my actual point into a different point that is easier for you to refute—this is known as the straw man logical fallacy in philosophy. It is a fact, as mentioned, that your distress and confusion doesn’t guarantee a mental illness, and whatever the cause, it needs to be dealt with. It’s not any less important without a mental illness present.

Now, what I won’t say is, “You just have a case of Hypochondriasis and/or Munchausen syndrome!” I get extremely annoyed when people argue against self-dx say those who self-dx must just really have a case of these disorders. First, it seems to mock those who really have it. It can be very severe, especially when someone who has it puts themselves in life-threatening situations or self-harm. Second, it is doing just that—assuming someone has an illness that they very well might not have (just like self-dx). It is a weak argument, defeats the point, and is hypocritical. It attacks the person and not the argument (ad hominem). I don’t blame some of the people who self-dx on here for freaking out at times, because sometimes, the people who confront them about their self-dx are complete assholes. Stop it. You’re not showing how self-dx is wrong. You’re just making us look like bad and illogically expressing your position, even if they did have hypochondriasis.

It is a smack in the face to those with mental illnesses and disabilities.

Self-dx very much spreads mockery, and it is insensitive to the mentally ill.  I already mentioned a bit about how it can give us a bad name. I’m sorry to say by the looks of many blogs, their posts, as you can see by the pictures, it appears to be another internet trend. What would you think just by a glance? This is not ok. It does not matter which side of the argument you lean towards—you have to at least see how this is not ok. Statistically rare or uncommon mental illnesses on here aren’t *rare* anymore on here. Everyone has it on their blog. Imagine living with a severe mental illness and everyone on a website claims *this* and *that* is a symptom, when it’s not, uses the disorder as an excuse to treat people like shit, or continuously posts about the trend. Additionally, it shapes the way mental illness is viewed and the way we are treated and addressed in society. We are minimized, not taken seriously, mocked, and many of them treat us like a fashion statement they can go and clone on their “about me page.” I realize my self-dx of DID is harmful to those with DID. I realize it was not accurate. Am I a “bad” person? No. Had they known my situation, I’m sure they’d be understanding, as I am towards many of you. Does this suddenly not make it hurtful or harmful? No. It does not provide some excuse to continue to do so, and it would still not be accurate to claim that it wasn’t still harmful and wrong in some way at the time. So, yes, you have a right to be upset if someone comes at you harassing you about it, calling you a hypochondria patient, etc. I can totally see how that doesn’t help the case. But seriously, when educated people try to tell you how problematic it is on all sorts of levels and how it affects the mentally ill, listen.

“You don’t understand and some people cannot afford it/grew up abused/have no access:”