This is fact not fiction...

nzurianne

When I was thirteen, I told my therapist about my eating disorder. I was starving myself for days, then binging and purging, and then starving myself again, etc etc. 

I told my therapist this and she said to me “That’s not going to help you lose weight.” And she told me to see my doctor about a diet plan. And she asked if I had anything else I wanted to talk about. 

I told my best friend as a last ditch effort to get someone to care. I pulled her aside at a church meeting and said I had something to tell her. It was so hard for me to say. 

She laughed it off and said she was expecting worse and then she told me “don’t do that anymore” with a smile. And I said okay, thanks, and we went back outside. And I got the sense that she was humoring me, like “aw, fat girl thinks she has a skinny person illness.”

Those were the only two people I told. I kept it to myself after that. I had NO support. I had to claw my way out of my ED on my own. I still get the urge to throw up sometimes if I’ve had a big meal, or skip a meal or work out until I pass out. 

I remember seeing a women’s magazine advertising the “coffee diet” where they advised drinking warm cups of coffee in place of meals

and that - that’s an ana trick, drinking hot water to convince yourself you’ve had food

Things like “Have you noticed she’s gotten very thin?” “She said she hasn’t eaten today…I’m a little worried about her”

The only people who haven’t laughed it off or just assumed the girl is on a diet or something are people who I know have also struggled with ED themselves. It’s become such a normal thing to diet that unhealthy behaviours go almost completely unnoticed and even when you do confess to someone they don’t have the faintest idea of how unhealthy your behaviours may be.

I once told someone I hadn’t consumed anything but black coffee in three days and you know what they said? “Wow, I wish I could do that.”

Skipping meals is not normal. 

Skipping meals is not normal.

Um the fact that a black latina woman can be the sixth richest musician in the world , someone who writes her own music, and escaped an abusive marriage -(Tony Mottola made her break up with her boyfriend when she was 18, when he was 20+ years her senior to sign her, he then started having an affair while still married to his wife, then married Mariah, refused to let her make music he thought was too black, and literally kept her LOCKED IN THEIR MANSION WHEN HE’D GO OUT, and if you don’t think the beggining of their relationship was coercive “you have to date me and have sex with me, let me control your entire life to work” wasn’t rapey and fucked up, to a teenage woman of color no less, get out of here, he even controlled her image, didn’t let her appear to sexual or anything like that), had a nervous breakdown and came out with one of the most successful albums (The Emancipation of Mimi) , earning her an extra 3 grammy’s, is fucking inspiring as fuck. 

Not even counting her five octave range and two notes (including working with nodules which is a hinderance to most singers actually) which yes, she may not be able to hit the notes she could at 20, but she started out with a wider range than Beyonce, Christina, and especially Ariana (who may attempt to do a whistle note, but she can’t enunciate or be understood during these notes).

People wanna give shit to Mariah for loving Christmas so much but she’s one of the most played Christmas artists of all time (tbh Christina’s and even Jessica Simpson- Tony Mottola’s post Mariah project who did release 2 Christmas albums) have never achieved the level hers are. And you wanna discredit the fact that yes, she has actually WROTE christmas classics.