From Ashes to Asses

i am in my 20s but also in my teenage years and also in my 40s

Oddly specific. Got a deposit for 6,837 today

May you end this week feeling ever more certain of a future you’ll love

reblog if you would trust a dog with a sword to protect you

we need terry painting like bob ross on tv everyday 

Please

The messed up part is that this, along with the Trump presidency, were predicted as jokes. These were seen as things so ridiculous that not only could they not actually happen, the idea of them was funny. So every time a Simpsons prediction comes true, the Simpsons wasn’t really trying to predict the future, they were making a cynical joke because they thought the real future would be better than it actually is. We’re living in the timeline where all the Simpsons’ worst assumptions about the world were 100% right.

The Darkest Timeline

Soulmates are not your ~other half~, that’s just nonsense. You are a whole person already, not half a person. A soulmate isn’t even inherently romantic. A soulmate is just the other sock in a matched set. You’re still a whole, complete sock on your own, you are perfectly functional paired with any other sock, it’s just that it’s even better when you match. A soulmate is literally just the person who makes your soul go “!!! Same hat!!!” and wave excitedly.

i love this

this is literally the only interpretation of “soulmate” that I can tolerate or accept 

merry christmas to everyone who didn’t get presents today because their family couldn’t afford it and merry christmas to everyone who couldn’t make it home for the holidays and merry christmas to everyone spending it alone i want you all to know that i hope you all have a great great end of the year and i love you all and even if your holidays weren’t how you pictured them i hope you still have a good rest of the holidays and year

you got your cock out there bud? not allowed on this website fucko. oh well you wanna be racist huh? well, who am i to –