Shouting Into The Void

There is that sound about Loch Lomond. The two Scottish soldiers one put to death and one freed.

Mark and Ryland are the Scottish soldiers made captive.

They are both the captives of space, one to return to Earth, the other not.

Mark returns to earth before his husband, but he will not return home until he meets Ryland again.

Also how Ryland is going to remember Mark and his brothers.

AND contrast of the world working so hard to save Mark while Ryland has been doomed by those same world leaders. Maybe saving Mark is penance for Rylands fate.

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The funeral is nice. NASA makes a big show of one for the public, but Mark's friends and family have their own. Two men dressed in crisp black suits bracket their crying brother, holding him up as he breaks.

Ryland hates the crowds. The cameras being shoved in his face and the reporters calling to get his story. He throws himself into working on PHM. He has to make it work, if not for a better world for him and Mark, for his kids.

He couldn't save his husband, maybe he can help save the rest of the world.

Colt's accident happens just weeks after Mark's death. He goes into a coma from the injuries.

Oh.

So he's alone now. Like actually truly alone.

When the explosion happens and Eva pulls him for the mission, he isn't even shocked. He doesn't have anyone. All that he has now is a house full of photos of people that are either dead or dying. His husband is lying dead on another planet, body slowly being covered by sand, and his brother is probably never going to wake up again.

He is the only choice that makes sense. But still he fights it. Because Colt might wake up. Because Court is out there on some mission. Because he has to be here when they bring Mark's body back on the next Ares mission. He still hasn't buried his husband.

Ryland runs and he fights. Fights for the people he still has left, the few of them there are. It doesn't make a difference in the end.

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They go on like that for months. Videos from Ryland make it to Mark and he tries not to regret his choice. He will complete the mission and make it home to Ryland. In a couple of years. The next time he sees his husband, he is going to be older, deeper smiles lines and maybe some gray hairs.

The Astrophage problem arises shortly after the Ares crew launches. They are kept in the dark, though Mark knows Ryland was pulled to consult on it.

They touchdown of Mars during summer. Ryland is visiting with Colt between brief bouts at home and working on PHM.

Then it happens. The storm. The rest of the Ares crew make it back to the ship, Mark doesn't.

One of the first things the crew realizes is someone is going to tell Mark's family. Someone is going to call his husband, the blond schoolteacher with glasses who was far too intelligent for his teacher's salary. Mark joked that he was too smart to be married to him, that Ryland could do much better but Mark got lucky that day by the vending machines.

Ryland and Marks parents were listed as emergency contacts. Colt gets a call from the latter in the middle of the night, what must be early morning for them on the east coast.

Mark is gone.

In a different city, Ryland collapses in the kitchen. He was up late reworking equations for Eva when his phone rings and he picks up.

He wishes he had't picked up.

Colt calls him at over a dozen times on his frantic drive to get to his brother. He calls Court. His brother has already heard the news, whispers of it in channels that he shouldn't be keeping tabs on but is anyway.

Ryland is curled up on the kitchen floor, broken mug pieces and spilled coffee at his feet, his phone smashed on the floor a few feet away.

All his fears, every bout of late night anxiety, every single thing Mark assured him wouldn't happen, happened. And now Mark is gone.

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The months long journey to Mars is brutal. Every night, Mark stares at the pictures in his bunk. Their undergrad gang in their grad caps and gowns. His wedding. A random picture of a sunset off the coast that Ryland must have packed.

The photo Colt took in their apartment after they got together. Ryland asleep on his chest while Mark flipped off the camera.

His wedding ring sits on a chain around his neck. Before launch, Ryland stole his ring only to return it to him a couple of days later. On the inside of both their rings the words "to the furthest star" are engraved.

Every night he goes to sleep gazing at the photos of everyones he loves, clutching the ring over his heart.

Back on Earth, Ryland goes to work, teaches a class full of some of the brightest kids in the world. He loves his life.

Well, almost all of it. He doesn't love the cold side of the bed in the morning or the empty chair across from him during meals. The way the coffee cups sit in the sink too long because he forgets to wash them and there isn't another person there to remember.

The first week isn't that bad for either of them. The new routine is still sinking in and everything is too fresh to really start hurting yet.

But it gets worse.

Colt's phone rings almost every night, and he has to talk down his brother from the anxiety spiral he has himself in about Mark and space and all the different ways he could die up there. Every fear from the very beginning of this NASA journey has come back full force.

The one bright spot is the videos Ryland makes for Mark to send to the Ares ship. They are mundane things, like the projects his students are working on or a new recipe he is trying.

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Colt and Court do laps around town as Ryland and Mark talk in their kitchen.

The conversation lasts hours. They go back and forth and eventually it isn't even about the Ares mission anymore. It is about fears and insecurities. Ryland has his laundry list of things that could go wrong on the mission, things that would take Mark away from him forever. Mark understands these fear, but all the previous Ares mission have been fine, why would this one be any different.

In the end, it's Marks choice to go. And he does. He accepts the offer, and Ryland is happy for him. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity, going to space.

The first few months of Marks training, Ryland is on summer break. They spend it in Florida, balancing Mark's meeting with fancy dinners and day trips.

There is a dinner with all the astronauts and their families. Ryland smiles and makes small talk. Numbers are exchanged so they can all keep in touch over the course of the mission. He doesn't stop spinning his ring around his finger the whole night.

They take enough photos to fill rooms of their house. But in the end, it is time for Ryland to return to work in the fall and it's the last final bits of Marks training.

Ryland goes to Florida for the launch. He can't fathom saying goodbye in some airport. Colt is there with him. The people he met months before are there as well.

They have their teary goodbyes and final kiss that is far too short for either of their likings and then Mark is getting pulled from the conference room and he is gone. Ryland is alone, a feeling he will have to get used to in the coming months.

Maybe he should get a dog.

All the families watch the launch on a large screen in a conference room. Colt and Ryland grip each others hands so tightly they might have bruises later.

For a split second, it crosses Rylands mind that his husband might die, that couple of minutes spent clinging to each other being the last they would ever have.

He shakes his head to banish the thought.

The Ares crew makes it to space. They didn't burn up in orbit and none of the million things that could have gone wrong happened.

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They live like that for years. When the pair are 32, Mark is approached to be on the upcoming Ares mission. He brings it up at dinner one Friday night.

It's the first time the pair really fight. Mark argues what it would do for his career and how much new information could be gained. Ryland lists of all the ways the mission could fail and how he could lose him.

It doesn't end well. Ryland grabs his wallet and keys and leaves. Mark stares at the wall behind where his husband is supposed to be eating dinner for too long, barely moving or breathing.

He tries Ryland's number and it goes straight to voicemail. He calls Colt but he also hasn't heard from him. Mark drives around there side of town in circles, knocking on the doors of neighbors and businesses they frequent. He even goes to the school looking.

Ryland isn't in any of these places.

Mark breaks down sobbing on the sidewalk after the last bar they go to turns up nothing. He's ruined everything. years of a relationship down the drain, everything that they have gone through since they were 18 years old. Gone. He ruined it all for nothing.

Ryland actually caught a bus to LA to stay with Colt and his phone died because he forgot to charge it. He bangs on Colts door at close to three in the morning.

His twin is about to throttle him right there. Colt was this close to calling the police. He already sent one of their undergrad friends over to look after Mark.

Hell, he called Court. That was truly a last case scenario type of move.

Safe to say, Colt gives Ryland the scolding of his life. He is never allowed to go radio silent on them ever again, no matter what happens. Never ever.

Colt confiscates his phone. He promises to let Mark know he is alive but that is it. They will spend time apart and then come back and have another go at the conversation.

Ryland stays with Colt for a week. The fight fell at the right moment, the beginning of spring break for Ryland.

Court sends someone to stay with Mark. It surprises Colt, even if his brother says it's for Ryland, he hears the way his older brothers voice wavers slightly.

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Their wedding is in early spring before they graduate with their masters degrees. It is a simple and small affair. Friends from college and some family, though both don't have much in that respect.

Court comes, if only to watch the ceremony and hug his little brothers. He also meets Mark for the first time. He sizes him up, finally meeting the man he watched his brother go from hating to loving.

He also threatens to make him vanish if he ever hurts his brother.

They dance and drinks and laugh well into the night, long after most of their guests have gone. They make plans to buy a house after they earn their doctorate's.

They graduate and move into their PhD programs. Everything is going so well. They wear their rings on chains around their necks as to not get in the way.

Ryland gets ousted from his field before they get to live together.

Ryland leaves his apartment and moves across the country to Mark's tiny studio. But it's just not enough space. They make it a few months before talks of moving again comes in.

Ryland takes a job as a teacher and Mark picks out a lovely house nearby to the school, close enough for his husband to bike everyday.

The house is shockingly like the one Mark had pictured all those years before while living with Ryland before their senior year of undergrad. The plants in the sun room, the office spce Ryland can use to grade his students work. The kitchen with the painted cabinets.

Colt drive up to help him decorate his classroom the week before school starts.

Ryland loves it. He loves teaching and his kids. He misses the lab work, the theories and atmosphere, but he doesn't miss his peers, the way they looked down on him and his ideas.

It turns out the classroom is the best fit for him.

Mark works at a lab in the city, about an hour commute from their home. Ryland bikes every day.

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Mark officially moves in for senior year. There was no discussion, it just happened.

The year passes just like the ones before, though this time their futures loom large over their heads. Colt announces he is going to try and peruse stunt work, much to his younger brothers dismay. Ryland and Mark get accepted to masters programs, but in different universities. Ryland is headed to coastal California, and Mark is going all the way to Massachusetts.

They party after graduation, but the tone is somber under the lights and booze. Ryland grips Mark's arm a bit tighter than usual, like he is going to slip away at the last moment, because he is.

The almost year they spent living together is coming to an end.

Mark packs up his things into a moving van and is off just days after the ceremony.

Ryland and Colt go out to the bars that night and they drink. Ryland says it's to celebrate his Masters program, but he spends the night downing shots, trying to ward off the feeling like his world was coming apart.

Their relationship doesn't end. They make it through the first year and by the end of it, they are both itching to see each other.

Over the course of the summer, both men go ring shopping. Mark goes to Colt for help picking out the ring for Ryland. Just days later during a casual phone call, Ryland mentions to his brother that he bought a ring.

Colt is the only person who knows they both plan on proposing. He doesn't want to suffer alone in this knowledge, so he gets in contact with Fitz to send a message to Court. If anyone else should know about it, it should be their big brother.

They both start their second year of their programs, none the wiser to what the other has planned.

They celebrate their two year anniversary with a long phone call and cupcakes eaten alone but together. By the time they make it to the winter holidays, the rings are heavy in their pockets. \

The pair have arranged to spend Christmas with family and New Year with their undergrad friends. After the ball drops, Mark drags Ryland away from the crowded bar floor and out onto the street where flurries have begun to fall.

There is a park near their old college bar, and they stroll hand in hand down the deserted street.

Mark gets down on his knee first. Ryland doesn't give him time to give a speech or even ask before he is pulling out his own ring box and laughing through tears.

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The rest of their junior year goes smoothly now that they don't have to hide from their friends. Colt finds them more often than not curled up on the couch in the twins apartment, much like the first night, homework abandoned for a bad action flick and sleep.

The winter holidays are hard. The twins try to get in contact with Court several times just to be met with radio silence. Ryland can't tell his boyfriend that his older brother he mentioned maybe once isn't actually in prison, but a shadow agent for the government. So Mark deals with a moody set of twins that won't tell him what is wrong.

The dark mood remains until late January, when a gray piece of paper is slipped under their door in the middle of the day. The words "Alive. Wait for contact." are printed on it.

Mark doesn't press when his boyfriend comes practically skipping into the library that night. Ryland will tell him about Court eventually, just not yet.

They finish out the year with the roughest round of finals yet, a grand total of 38 energy drinks consumed by the group, and next to no sleep. But they made it.

Colt singed up for a summer stunt program on a whim one night after panicking while thinking about his future. He is moving to LA for the summer, crashing in one of their friends basements. Ryland has an internship on campus, so he is staying in their apartment.

Funnily enough, Mark also has an internship, though not at their university, but at an independent research lab about an hour away. His lease is up, so the obvious solution is to move in with Ryland.

They spend the summer playing house and somewhere along the line it becomes too real. They fit together far too easily for a relationship this knew. Maybe it's because they spent so long dancing around each other, a planet and a star, one circling the other until he finally noticed.

Mark finds himself looking online for more permanent housing in different cities. He imagines their life together, not sharing a dingy college apartment for a summer, but a house full of life.

This imaginary house of theirs is full of light. They have a sun room full to the brim with plants. There is a library full of books on every topic they find remotely fascinating. The kitchen cabinets are painted a light yellow, because he thinks Ryland would like it.

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Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12

Part 13

Part 14

Part 15

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After the incident in the library, they try to be sneaky. Mark comes over when Colt is at practice or class. They think they have everyone fooled.

Colt catches them not even a week into whatever it is they are doing.

"Catches" isn't really the right word. The pair are over at the twins place and they were studying, they swear. It was sometime after two in the morning when they called it quits, leaving their stacks of notes on the coffee table and turning on some stupid action flick.

Colt walks in to find his twin passed out on top of Mark, with the latter's hand carding through his hair as he watches the movie. Ryland's glasses have slipped off his face in sleep.

Colt smiles at his friend, the one who spent many nights spilling out his heart to him during their first two years. He leaves them be, but not before snapping a picture of Mark flipping off the camera. He feels like it will be a fond memory one day.

They make it another week or so before everyone else finds out. Well, they tell everyone. Kind of.

It's the day before thanksgiving, and their friend group is hosting a 'friendsgiving' type meal, but of breakfast foods. Ryland and Colt have to catch the noon bus to head back home and several others also have afternoon traveling to do.

Ryland leans down to give Mark a kiss goodbye before hightailing it out the door, dragging Colt behind him.

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The twins get a small apartment not too far from campus for their Junior year. Ryland has his bike since most of his classes are a bit further, the cluster of science buildings contained to the furthest corner of campus.

Mark also has his own place, though he shares with three other roommates.

It only makes sense that they study at Ryland's place when not in the library. Colt has lots of practices that run late, and Mark doesn't want to deal with his drunken roommates.

Halloween comes and the twins dress up in matching costumes, like always. They spend the night trying to fool their friends, but every time they approach Mark, he immediately guesses right. Later, after Ryland ditched them for the dance floor with some others in their group, Colt asks him how he knew, and Mark smiles into his drink, eyes focussed on a body in the crowd.

Someones gotta give. Turns out its both of them not even a week later.

It's late and they are in the library. It's a larger group studying before midterms and it's approaching midnight in the library. Mark and Ryland volunteer to get snacks for the group and collect the cash.

The pair are silent in the elevator and across the floor to the secluded corner of machines. No one else is around as they go down the list Ryland scribbled onto a sticky note.

He catches Mark staring at him out of the corner of his eye, but every time he turns to look, Mark ducks to grab something from the machine.

They go back and forth like that until they finish the list. Ryland awkwardly gestures for Mark to go in front of him. Ryland laughs at something and Mark pulls him in but Ryland was already leaning towards him.