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i can’t even enjoy heated rivalry properly because i keep remembering that it’s lowkey dan and phil’s life and suddenly nothing is funny

#heated rivalry #hollanov #dan and phil #phan #pit in my stomach

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littlemonkeyguy

Literally just the first half of season 2 (for Fitz)

batbetbitbotbut

"focaccia, serves 4" yes all 4 me

batbetbitbotbut

"tiramisu, serves 2" yes all 2 myself

introvertia

Pizza, serves 8, yes I 8 it all.

thistoowillpasss

kittykittyredcat

marcosllorente

“imagine there’s no countries” fuck off john lennon how are we supposed to play the world cup without countries you ultimate scum

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lavenderprose

To be clear. Shane's whole thing about Ilya being a Sex God is because of the limerence. Ilya is nineteen and he can get a rhythm going and that's about it. He was throwing shit at the wall when he hit that 'Get on your knees' in Nashville but only he knows that because Shane's brain turned OFF. Ilya said "Let's do a little experiment here" and the results were "Oh my god oh my god oh my god." Shane came hands free because he was that obsessed with the idea of Ilya Rozanov being inside him. Ilya said "Do you like that do you like that" because he's nineteen and he needs the validation and Shane was like "YES YES YES I LIKE IT OH MY GOD YOU'RE SO DEEP YOU'RE SO GOOD" and objectively. It was okay. Ilya fully did not know where to put his hands a couple of times. He forgot about Shane's dick. Luckily, Shane is God's special angel who can come from the idea of Ilya's cockhead being in proximity to his prostate a few times. Mind over matter, says Shane Hollander's dick. And then Ilya said "Oh God Hollander" because it was also, objectively, one of the hottest things that had ever happened to HIM, Ilya Rozanov. Shane sits on that step afterwards plotting about how he's gonna get this over and over and over again for the rest of his life and he has no idea that there are women in Boston who have Ilya listed in their contacts as "Hockey Guy 6/10". Shane Hollander cannot fathom a world in which Ilya Rozanov doesn't lay the maddest pipe this side of Lake Michigan. "Ilya Rozanov is a some kind of nineteen year old sex God" No Shane honey he was just designed in a lab to score goals and make you cum and he's done scoring goals for the night.

drabbles-and-rambles

I saw a post about Shane and Ilya being sad that they can't thank each other in their acceptance speeches like other can with their spouses and it got me thinking:

Ilya wins his first awards and hes got nobody he really wants to thank after his team and coach cause he he hates his family but he knows his speech is too short so on impulse he goes "And I want to thank Shane Hollander for being slightly worse than me this season". Everyone knows it was going to one of those two, so everyone thinks hes an asshole to say that but whats new so it works for him. But from then on it then becomes a bit for both of them to thank each other in their speeches in a snide way as a reason they won.

Shane winning the Art Ross Trophy (Awarded to the player who leads the league in total points at the end of the regular season). and going "special thanks to Rozanov for missing at least 5 shots this season, he was a huge help"

Ilya winning the Conn Smythe Trophy (Awarded to the most valuable player for his team in the playoffs.) "Just want to give a quick shout out to Hollander for getting knocked out in the second round this season. Must hate to see me up here."

They find a way to mention the other in their speeches every time all the time.

shanehollandered

and every time, they sit in their seats like

golongbyjoannanewsom

obsessed w this person in the replies

mevil

beholdingslut

in absolute tears about the pride module at my work

dikdikpronouncedxylophone

bigfoots-biggest-fan

HOLY SHIT GUYS, I WAS INSPIRED BY THIS POST TO TRY MAKE THE SONG AND YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT WHEN I DRAGGED THE TRAINING AUDIO OVER THE BACKING TRACK AND IT LINED UP PERFECTLY

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Tempted to actually put this on spotify so I can secretly stream it at work...

Tagging @batshit-auspol because as an Australian you're the only big account I know who might share (sorry).

punkrorschach

happy first day of pride everyone

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yaoiblackmold

Top 3 things people love insisting they don't have despite it being impossible

Pronouns

An accent

Bias

sailermoon

this is how new yorkers @ mamdani

sailermoon

hayakawalove

I feel like that one scene of Justin Bieber getting shot in csi

hayakawalove

fairycosmos

fucked that you can’t fix other people especially when you really care about them. Oh so im just supposed to be there for you while you suffer. like a useless cunt gargoyle

hotvampireadjacent

Halal movie night follow up

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

myshangel

ilya rozanov bedazzled 24 booty shorts. send tweet

lurkerdelima

Shane & Ilya hanging out with Skip for unspecified reasons and the first time Kip teasingly says “girl!” to him about something, Shane just makes this face

themoonandmyman

Ilya when Kip calls him ‘girl’

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