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This is an absolutely FASCINATING cultural snapshot.

saw a bloodymary fic tagged ‘canon typical violence’ without specifying which canon and honestly? love it. finally a tag that conveys even less information than tagging dead dove without explaining why. ‘save up to 15% or more’ type beat. never let em know your next move

‘the story you’re about to read contains depictions of violence equivalent to either 1) a guy hitting his head pretty hard OR 2) a guy ripping his own arm off and dying horribly in an ocean of caustic and possibly sentient blood. impossible to say which. good luck tho 👍’

dump his ass. move to a walkable city. start hormones. get into fiber crafts. dye your hair weird. grow an herb garden. foster a distrustful cat. take a welding class. invite your friends over for tea and cake. get way too into obscure media. explore a new cuisine. lie to the police. protest in the streets. life has so many possibilities don't it?

make out with a frenemy. buy noise cancelling headphones. wear office inappropriate attire. quit a toxic workplace. improve your apartment. start a dog walking sidegig. get on first name basis with your local librarians. bully politicians at town hall meetings. get an unexpected piercing. cultivate farmer's market connections. trade recipes with a gossipy old neighbor. unionize your apartment complex. move to the countryside. let a friend take you larping. keep a sword on your mantleplace

get a tattoo on your 40th birthday. be tempted to buy a loom. do a charity drag show. sue your landlord. buy a really nice kitchen appliance. volunteer at an anarchist soup kitchen. rediscover a tv show you watched when you were 8. spam your state senators. shop at asian grocery stores. do cosplay. buy trans flags in bulk and mount them along the highway. go viral for unexpected reasons. move in with your best friend. make lemoncello with leftover lemon rinds. run for school board membership. explore pegging.

update: i'm delighted to report this post has been responsible for at least one person dumping his ass

update: three four people

used to live in a college town that was huge on sports. 80% of small talk was sportsball and so i developed an Evil Habit: whenever the conversation inevitably turned to the upcoming Big Game i would act excited and then confused. I would earnestly insist they had the details wrong. "the game next Saturday? don't you mean the Thursday after? playing against the [predator species]? no we're playing against the [other predator species]." And so on. i would draw this argument out for as long as feasibly possible, until eventually someone would pull out their phone to prove to me my wrongness. At which point I would squint exaggerated at the screen, slap my forehead in an eureka moment, and exclaim "oh you meant the MEN'S team!!! are they doing a game? that's nice."

being a bitch actually saves you a lot of time

ohhh luz noceda. imagine being one of her classmates. one year you're going to school and some kid brings snakes to her book report and turns her eyelids inside out to freak people out. summer happens and you dont see her for months. when school starts again she comes back and she's. neat?? and well mannered?? still a little silly and clueless, but she's paying attention in class and doing well and she seems to have friends now. months pass and then suddenly she's different Again. she's got a scar over her eyebrow. her hair has grown out. she's got this letterman jacket that's clearly not from your school and it looks old as hell and a little too big. some people try to talk to her but she barely reacts. she's got bags under her eyes. there's a look in them that makes most people turn away. no one tries to ask her what changed. she has an outburst in your english class. there is no book report with snakes this year