Hi! Thank you for taking the time to respond to my ask and yes, I’m someone who loves hearing as many perspectives as possible so I’d love some sources from you. I also very much appreciate the fact you are being very careful to only reblog posts that are anti Israel, not antisemetic (which is frankly a breath of fresh air, the internet has been a bit exhaustingly full of both antisemitic & Islamaphobic content these past feel days as I bet you’ve seen)
I’ve also been to Israel on a Birthright trip. We met people who ( both Palestinian and Israeli) on various sides of the conflict and learned a ton about it, from both perspectives which I was lucky to have the opportunity to do. We even went a little into the Gaza Strip to talk to these people running a pro Palestine peace movement and it was so important to me hearing those stories.
I never said they were on equal footing militarily, they definitely are not, Israel definitely has that advantage. But you are incorrect about Israel always being the aggressor since 1948,they’ve defended themselves about as often as they’ve attacked. Isreal is a small country comparatively to the ones surrounding it, so it makes sense it defends itself heavily in case of an attack.
I 100% agree that there are too many people who are compliant with the mistreatment of many Palestinians! I’m not anti #freepalestine at all! I get why that is a thing. But I also stand with Israel( but that does not mean I condone every action they take. ) Overall I think the situation is extremely complicated and some sort of compromise should be reached.
It’s just been very frustrating to see so many people reblog things on a situation just bashing Israel because so many others are doing it. Especially when then don’t know what they are talking about or using big buzz words that they don’t know what they mean, or spreading misinformation. It’s been on both sides and has been very very draining. I just want peace and some sort of solution. It makes me extremely happy you know what you are talking about and can debate politely yet happily about it. The internet has been so ‘ either agree with me 100% or you a bad person’ about this so it’s refreshing to see you are not like that.
I’ve done a lot of research into it from as many perspectives as I can get my hands on.
Some extremest Israelis are hurting Palestinians
Some extremest Palestinians are hurting Israelis
Both sides are throwing rockets at each other and it’s terrifying.
Both sides claim the other side is brainwashed
There is so much biased propaganda out there on both ends it’s hard to know what is truly happening.
I know people living in Israel who have sent me videos they’ve taken of rockets flying over there heads and I’m so scared for them. I’m so scared for all the innocent people caught in the crossfire on both sides.
Thank you for a more nuanced response and I’d love some of your sources,
A Very Stressed American Jew
Hi anon,
I wasn’t going to respond to this until after my math final tomorrow but I’ve spent the past two days thinking of your ask and the things I wish to articulate in my answer.
I am going to start here: how can you say you support Israel but say you are also pro-free Palestine (as in, you said you are not anti free Palestine). In my opinion, these two ideas cannot coexist. Simply because, the entire establishment of Israel has been on violent, racist, colonial grounds.
(Super long post under here guys)
You said you don’t support all Israel’s actions, and definitely, just because you support something doesn’t mean you can’t criticize it. However, in my opinion, if you do not support Israel’s actions against Palestinians there’s not much left to support? I admit this is a very biased view as I am Palestinian, but many things that people support about Israel have existed before its creation: as in, these are things and qualities that have existed in Judaism and are not due to “Israeli culture.” There is no Israeli culture. There’s Jewish culture--100%. But there is no Israeli culture, because Israel does not only steal Palestinian land, but Palestinian culture, too. Such as claiming Levant food is Israeli; hummus, ful, falafel, shawarma. I mentioned food from this article I know is culturally and traditionally of the Levant, and has been for centuries, it is not something that has come to culinary creation in the past 73 years.
I do not think this is a complicated issue. I said that in the previous ask and I’ll say that again. Saying it is a complicated issue is trivializing the deaths of innocent Palestinians, the violent dispossession our ancestors endured, and the apartheid they live under. I hope if anything comes from this discussion it is you removing the “it’s a complicated issue” phrase from your vernacular.
This is not complicated. A journalist reporting the death of martyrs only to discover that of them include two of his brothers is not complicated. The asymmetry of Israel vs Palestinian armed forces is not complicated, nor is the asymmetry in Israeli vs Palestinian suffering (which I will get to later). It is not complicated. Destroying the graves of martyred Palestinians (or just in general, the graves of the dead) is not complicated. Little children being pulled from the rubble, children being forced to comfort one another as they are covered in the ashes of their decimated homes, attacking unarmed citizens in peaceful demonstrations (you can find videos before this attack where they were playing with kites and balloons), destroying an international media office and refusing to allow journalists to retrieve the work they are spending every waking hour documenting but claiming it was because it was a hide out for a “Hamas base,” fathers who are trying to cheer their frightened children up only to end up dead the next day, while many Israeli have the privilege and the option to go to hotel-like bomb shelters is not complicated.
This brings me to my next point: the suffering of Palestinians cannot be compared to the inconvenience of Israeli’s. On one side, you have children who are happy to have saved their fish in the face of their homes and lives being decimated behind them to Israeli’s in Tel Aviv having to cut their beach day short to get to bomb shelters. You have mothers and fathers ready to set their lives down for their children to save them from bombs to Israeli’s enjoying their brunch only after making sure there are bomb shelters there. You have Palestinian children being murdered to blocking out the sound of sirens in the safety of your bomb shelters. (The first picture of the Palestinian child is not from footage of the recent problems). You have the baby lone survivor of a whole family recovered from rubble. His whole family, gone, before he ever had the chance to realize that he even exists, while Israeli’s decide to flee out of the country,(Translate the caption from Twitter, it checks out), or have to leave the shower due to sirens. Who is really suffering?
I won’t sit here and pretend like the thought of rockets flying over my head, no matter which side I am on, is not terrifying. It is. It’s scary to just think about. But Israeli’s have protection beyond Palestinian’s, they have sirens to warn them (Israel does not always warn Palestinian building members that it is about to be bombed), they have the Iron Dome, they have simply the threat of nuclear power (which I am not saying Israel would use, but the simple fact they have it would make me feel a lot better if I were an Israeli citizen) and they have bomb shelters. What do Palestinians have? Hamas? That smuggles its weapons through the ocean? That only ever reacts to the action Israel instigates? And yet Gazans are branded terrorists and that it is their fault that they “elected” a terrorist organization that only was ever created due to no protection from any armed country? (There are so many links I want to add in this paragraph but it is simply impossible for me to add everything I want, a lot of what I’m referring to can either be found through a Google search, or you can stalk my Twitter account, all that I am posting now is about Palestine, and will include sources of things I cannot add in just this one post.)
Look, I see myself in the genocide happening in Palestine right now. I see myself in this ten year-old girl. In this three year old girl. I see me and my family in videos of cars being attacked in Ramallah and Sheikh Jarrah (I cannot find the Ramallah video, should be somewhere on my Twitter), I see my father in the countless videos of fathers crying out for their children, of kissing the corpse of their loved ones (again, translate the Tweet, the man holding the body is saying “just one kiss”). I see my grandfather in videos like this (old footage). I see my younger brother, I see my grandmother, my mother, my aunts and uncles and cousins. I see myself and my life and my family were my father not lucky enough to get a scholarship to the UK and out of Palestine, were my maternal grandfather not been lucky enough to make it to a refugee camp and build a life in Jordan. I have an unbelievable amount of privilege to be born into the life I was born in to, in terms of I do not have the threat of bombs and violent dispossession around me, and I do not even live in the US. I have privilege and sheer luck that my parents were able to go to the US so that me and my brothers can be born, because now I have both the protection of the most powerful country in the world while at the same time being part of a people to have suffered so generously the past seventy-three years.
On the other hand, you saying that Israel has “defended themselves about as often as they’ve attacked. Israel is a small country comparatively to the ones surrounding it, so it makes sense it defends itself heavily in case of an attack,” I offer you this question: why are they using military grade guns and stun grenades in mosques to “defend” themselves from rocks? And before you mention that Hamas hit Tel Aviv, I remind you that Hamas did that due to the violence in the Al-Aqsa mosque square and the attempted ethnic cleansing in Sheikh Jarrah. The violence didn’t begin with us; the violence was brought out of Palestinians in resistance to the generations of oppression we have endured and the attack on Palestinian Muslims during the holiest night of Ramadan. Hamas has since asked for a ceasefire multiple times and Israel is refusing. New reports say there is a possibility of a ceasefire in the coming days, but Israel could have decided this a long time ago and spared many lives. (Remember, no matter what resistance we make, Israel is the one in power).
Israel has been the aggressor since 1948. Just read up about the Nakba! 700k Palestinian families were dispossessed violently. The only reason Israel was established at all was because it simply declared it was now a country and the US and many other countries recognized it as such. (Of course, there are many other historical details here, like the British Mandate of Palestine, the Balfour Declaration, the Oslo Accords and many others. I am aware of them but these are for a different post all together). My paternal grandfather was a little younger than me when Israel as a state was created. The hostility that followed was due to this independent declaration being listened to over Palestinian voices.
Here is a very, very simplified analogy, one that can also answer some people’s questions as to why Palestinians (not Arabs, we are Palestinian before we are Arab) did not like what happened in 1948 and why they refused a two-state solution (that Israel was never going to go through with anyway). (I am also aware other Arab nations got involved, and that is perhaps what you mean when you said they had to defend themselves, but my response to that would still be we didn't start it, that we only responded to it).
Let’s say you are a farmer. You have many fields of trees, ones you have taken shelter under from the sun since you were a child, or hid behind when you wanted to avoid your parents when you misbehaved. You have seen your trees grow from a seed, to a sprout, to a flower, to a large, beautiful tree with fruits the size of a fist. You pluck the fruits from one tree, and make a jam from it. I don’t know how to make jam but I know it takes a lot of energy. So, you make this jam and from it, produce a lovely, mouth-watering pie. Once it has cooled from the oven, you take it with you outside your balcony just so that you can admire the years, months, weeks and hours this one pie has taken to be created. Suddenly, a stranger walks past and yells to you, “That pie looks delicious, I want it!” And you, shocked at their boldness but ready to share, say, “I will give you a bite.” But the stranger says, “No! I do not want a bite or a slice or whatever you want to offer me, I want the pie!” And they grab it from you. You and the stranger start screaming at one another about who the pie is for, who is allowed to decide what happens to it, and who you can share it with. Then, another stranger comes by and says, “Why all the problems? Let’s cut the pie in half and the both of you can share it!” But why should you, who has spent years cultivating the fruit and grain inside this pie, share it? Why should you give up half of the 100% that you already owned? Of what you already had? So you disagree, and now a crowd has formed around you. “What’s the problem?” someone in the crowd calls. “They don’t want to share their pie!” another voice says. Then you become branded a selfish, mean bastard. Again, this is a super simplified analogy, so don’t take it too seriously, but I am trying to show you why Israel is the aggressor.
In addition, I do not know too much about the Birthright program, just that American Jewish people are sent to Israel, all expenses paid. I tried my best to find the Twitter thread but I read it so long ago, about an American Jewish person who went on their trip and they talked about the propaganda that they were exposed to on that trip. I can’t say for sure that it is true, because I haven’t been on it and never will, but that is the first thing I thought of when you mentioned your Birthright trip. Either way, I think it is still great you went and saw the country. However, I must ask you this: are the people you met ones you, yourself, sought out, or ones you were organized to meet?
Now, I haven’t been to Gaza, so I don’t know what you really saw or didn’t, but did you speak to Palestinians who lost their homes to airstrikes? Did you speak to siblings, parents or children of loved ones who had been lost beneath the rubble of buildings and towers? Outside of Gaza, did you speak to Palestinians that live in poor quarters? Ones who have been victims of an IDF soldier shooting them, or who have family members who have died from such attacks? Did they take you guys to Ramallah, to Nablus, to Beit-Imreen, to Jenin, to small villages in the West Bank, far away from Jerusalem and Tel Aviv? Did you speak to people there? Ask them their stories? Because if you did I have a very hard time believing you still think Israel is “defending” itself.
I’ve been to Jerusalem, many times, even Tel Aviv and Jaffa and Haifa. All the times I visited Dome of the Rock there were IDF soldiers with huge guns strapped to their person, standing menacingly outside the courtyard. For what? Genuinely, genuinely for what? It is nothing but an intimidation tactic. The same way we are not allowed in through the airport. If you could see the struggle some Palestinians actually go through just to get into Palestine, through the land border, you would be disgusted. I love Palestine, it is my ancestry land, it is my culture and tradition. But I always hated going to visit because I knew the way to getting there would be hell.
My father worked in Tel Aviv through the first Intifada. My maternal grandfather was forced out of his home in the Nakba and was forced to leave behind his belongings and the orange trees that have been in his family for generations. Hell, the town they lived in was destroyed! It doesn’t exist anymore except in the memories of my aunts and uncles, who never even saw it, but just heard of it from their father!
I’m not saying there aren’t Palestinians who are racist and anti-Semitic (though, tbh, I will direct you here for that) and who support Hamas in killing Israeli’s, but talking about how there are many “extremist” Palestinians who are hurting Israeli’s and in the next line say there are extremist Israeli’s who are hurting Palestinians is not correct. There are extremist Israeli’s killing, lynching, stealing the houses of Palestinians, and there are Palestinians who are fed up and fighting back. (I am not talking about Hamas vs the IDF here, I am talking about the citizens). I have not seen one reported death of an Israeli due to Palestinian violence (if you have, from a trusted source, send it to me), but I have seen countless of the other way around. I have seen images of charred little bodies, of a baby being dug out of the rubble, of a child’s body that had been so mutilated that you can literally see the insides of their body coming out. (I don’t know if it’s on my Twitter, I didn’t want to save that shit). If this was my country I would be absolutely ashamed of myself and my people and what they are doing in the name of my protection. So you have to forgive me, and forgive other Palestinians, who don’t give a fuck about Israeli’s having anxiety over rockets flying over their heads when we see these images. Where is the protection of our kids? Why does no one seem to mention them except when mentioning the poor, innocent ones in Israel? At least more than the majority of them have their parents to comfort and rock them. At least many of them will probably be saved of ever having to be beneath the rubble of a destroyed building, or digging in it, to hope to find the parts of their parents or siblings just so that they can bury them. Just the links from the start of my answer is enough to support what I am saying.
I have soooo much more I can say, like how Israel uses religion to distort the image of what’s going on (tbh, just check my Twitter for that: language is EVERYTHING), but you didn’t mention religion in any of this and so I won’t either. The only reason I decided to respond to you in such length was because you have been one of the few respectful anons in my inbox in the past few years of me being on here talking about Israel, so I appreciate that from you.
As promised, some more sources: decolonizepalestine is a good place to start if you haven’t used it already, it has reading materials, myth busting, and more. Here is a map list of destroyed localities from pre-1948 until 2017, run by two anti-Zionist Israelis. Here and here are the articles I promised of a former IDF soldier-turned Palestinian activist, I read these two last year in June and remember coming out much more informed than before I read them. I suggest looking into the writer and his organization, which, if I remember correctly, collects accounts from previous IDF soldiers. I would suggest not to follow Israel and the IDF accounts on any platform, or any Israel times newspaper, simply because they will not tell you the truth. In fairness, you do not have to follow any Palestinian Authority accounts (which I am not even sure there are), but to follow on-ground Palestinians like Mohammed El-Kurd, who has been speaking out since he was 12 (he is now 22) and he is part of the families in Sheikh Jarrah. I have noticed that this and this account have been translating Arabic headlines and tweets for non-Arabic speakers, I have just started following this person but their bio says they are a Palestinian Jewish person so I am interested in their view of things. You can also follow Israeli’s on-ground and see their perspective on things, but I would also advise to compare the Palestinian and Israeli side of things from the people, and critically analyze the language used in each case. Also, this article references Jewish scholars opposed to the occupation (I have not looked into them myself but I plan to after my exams), and Norman Finklestein is another great Jewish scholar to look into if you haven’t. Twitter is better than Instagram and Facebook, so I would stick to getting live-info from there, Twitter does not censor Palestinian content as much as Insta and Facebook so you’re more likely to see things there.
I will end this by saying I personally do not see any other option for peace than to give Palestinians our land back. Whether we may be Muslim, Jewish or Christian, it has always been and will always be our land. I only hope to see it free in my lifetime.
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Topped Gallup Korea’s poll for the Most Preferred Idols of 2018 voted by the general public
Top class magazine SOLO cover January 2019 issue.
Insight Korea named him as ’one of the best dancers ’ in the Idol Industry
The face of Kpop
Korea
#1 for the annual Brand Reputation Ranking for Male Kpop Idols in September, November and December 2018 (all idols)
#1 for the annual Brand Reputation Ranking for Male Kpop Idols in January 2019
UK
#17 Guardian’s list of The Best Boyband Member’s of All Time (½ of the only Kpop artists mentioned)
Lie and Serendipity ranked #17 and #19 on the Official Chart for the Top 20 Most Streamed BTS songs in the UK. (only solo bts song that charted)
US
#9 most tweeted musician in the US in 2018
Spotify Prince
Lie & Serendipity are 3rd and 4th most streamed solo songs by a Kpop artist on Spotify after Psy’s Gangnam Style(1) and Gentlemen(2)
Youtube fancam King
has the most viewed fancam in Kpop history (for Fake Love)
4/10 of the most viewed fancams on Mnet
Vlive Sweetheart
has one of the most viewed solo Vlive with 180+ million views
his ‘long time no see’ vlive is the first to reach 100 million views marked among all the artists vlives
has the most number of tapped hearts on Vlive 3 + billion ❤ for a single artist
Twitter trend Fairy
9th most tweeted celebrity in 2018
Soundcloud record Breaker
his song ‘Promise’ gained 8.5M streams making it the biggest solo debut for any song on Soundcloud (overtaking Drake) with no promotion; ‘Promise’ also topped Soundcloud charts and has already become BTS’ most streamed song on Soundcloud in less than five days.
First Korean Artist whose song reached 100 million streams on soundcloud.
The Idol of your Idols
Victon Sejun, BTOB Eunkwang, Target Boun, Up 10tion Wooshin, Pentagon Shinwon, Yuehea boys Hyungseob, IM - Kim Kijoong, Spax Blanc7 etc. …
“Personally, its BTS Jimin sunbaenim for me. During my trainee days I kept watching his videos and I reallyy wanted to be like him Even when Im in slump(unmotivated). I always get much strength by looking at Jimin sunbaenim. Hes a sunbaenim whom I really respect”. - Victon Sejun
Your Biases Bias
Jin: Jimin inspires me the most - Festa 2018
Suga: I prefered Jimin’s voice - Burn the Stage
Jhope: Jimin is his favorite dongsaeng.
RM: Jimin fanboy period.
Tae: Jimin biased period.
Jungkook: Jimin stan period.
Your Celebrity’s bias
James Corden, Shawn Mendes
Non Kpop fans Recruiting fairy
“The guy with the red suit” trended after BTS performs on AGT
September, 2018 Jimin’s 7 second Video with him staring at the crowd gone viral and attract non kpop fans
All Gender’s Bias
Male
Doni from weekly idol, Reowook (Super Junior) from idol party, radio star and many more MC, 2 guys from Malta
“ My heart almost stop when I met Jimin’s stare. Its the first time that it happen to me for a man” - Fire Era Male MC
“ Ah, Jimin, Jimin is our Gyeongsangdo man. The toughness that is hidden in this cute appearance(points at Jimin’s face), make the noona’s melt. I think I’m going to melt right now(too). - BTS manager hyung Kim Hyunsoo
Female
Noona likes Jimin alot. - Jhope
On 2016 ISAAC Jimin was picked by 35% of all the female idol who attend it as the ‘male idol they want to see on the finish line waiting for them’.
This boy right here, dating back to somewhere in the streets of Busan, at the age of seven he wanted to be the world’s greatest swordsman and was obsessed with dinosaurs up until middle school. The he discovered singing and told his father that he wanted to be a singer and his dad said, you do you the light of my life; fastrack a few years when in middle school he decided (as if a gift from God) to become a dancer and started doing ballet and contemporary along with street dance specializing in popping. (talk about talent).
He continued being a fire dancer and if I may flex, the busan street battle champion. His dance academy literally allowed him to learn for free cause he was just.that.good. A few years down the line he was faced with a little bit of a crossroads where he had to choose between being a professional dancer or give his dreams a try and enter the kpop industry. Jimin had four scholarships lined up for him no big deal but he decided (again, as if a gift from God) to audition for big hit entertainment and ended up being a trainee.
He met Namjoon, Yoongi, Hoseok, Jin , taehyung and Jungkook. People he will eventually end up loving more than anything he’ll ever love. Namjoon and Yoongi had always been kind of an enigma, one being the leader and the other being as detached from life as it gets but their lyrics always spoke what they never did. Jin was a bit difficult to understand at first but with time it started feeling weird if there wasn’t someone joking around and making everyone smile even when their legs felt like giving out. Hoseok was someone who inspired the dancer in Jimin, the way he smiled so effortlessly even while doing the hardest of chereohraphies was something to adore. Taehyung and Jimin went to the same high school and in no time became the bestest of friends, they were practically inseparable; soulmates to be exact. Sometimes it felt like they only had each other to rely on. Jungkook on the other hand was a literal child who made Jimin want to constantly dote on him and how could he not love this lil boy who somehow felt like Busan, felt like home.
The trainee period was honestly hell in every possible sense; Jimin had the shortest trainee period and trained for mere months as opposed to the three years of training everyone else had. A lot of people including the CEO of the company were at some points against Jimin being in the group which resulted in him getting kicked out a couple of times. It was a long hard training period for this boy from Busan but eventually with nothing but sheer hard work, willpower and undeniable skills he ended up being the main dancer and the lead vocalist of Bangtan boys. (Pause for flex)
After what seemed like an endless struggle, the d day came and BTS debuted on 13th June, 2013. It was honestly shocking to some to see a rookie band having such a high skill set. Their debut was somehow the talk of the town. Amusingly enough, Everyone seemed to be talking about this guy who shows his abs during the performances. It helped with the popularity but as with all good things in life, it had a major downside. He was a minor who was forced to show his body when he literally requested against it and this in-turn left him with insecurities about his gorgeous body that’ll haunt him for years to come.
BTS weren’t really that big when they debuted, they were from a small company with limited funds and had to slowly build their way to the top amongst all the prejudice thrown at them.
Jimin grew up somewhere along the way.
Everyone seemed to love his pretty eye smile, the way he smiled with those eyes that made people feel at home. Everyone talked about how amazing he is all the time but somehow Jimin didn’t seem to believe. He somehow always saw himself as lacking something, always not enough. So he practiced;
There was Jimin; practicing, constantly striving to be better and more better. Burning out his body dancing, loosing his voice singing and rehearsing till he collapses. He kept practicing to sing better, kept collapsing till he danced better and kept starving till he looked better.
He just couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him. Even in the vlog that was being filmed for his own birthday he couldn’t quite focus on the cake or his friends but somehow was busy covering his face with his hands because he felt like who he was without makeup wasn’t good enough.
A lot of things changed. Years, haircolours, eras; at the end of it all was one fateful day of May 5th, 2015 when BTS had their first win and for some reason Jimin couldn’t stop crying. It was hard believing that all his struggles are finally being rewarded; it felt unreal like it was a secret camera or his birthday but it was real and things were about to get even more real.
Then came wings and Jimin had to write a song for his solo and it was honestly difficult for him to settle on one thing so he kept working and kept editing and after months on end he came out with the lyrics to a song called ‘lie’. This song was the most genius thing most people had heard. It became the most popular of all the solos that were in that particular album. It set records on spotify and instantly became a highlight for their tour as well.
Somehow, a song that was so widely loved had lyrics that were downright disturbing. He kept pleading for himself to be saved from hell. He kept saying that there are these voices that he hears and how he’s astray and how he needs to be rescued, desperately needs to be saved but nobody really cared about the lyrics as long as the choreography showed his collarbones & a choker.
A year down the line came the fateful concept of blood sweat & tears. Jimin had a lot riding on him for this. Being the center of their main single was something that was quite hard but Jimin had always been up for challenges.
He thought he had to be better, more better and the only way to be better was to look good because that’s what they say right? They say, your eyes desire first and the heart comes along later right? So he starved. He starved himself to the point where he ate one proper meal in ten days. He kept feeling tired and collapsed a few times during rehearsals but it doesn’t matter cause it was working right? People went crazy about him in blood sweat & tears. It was a sight to see, people falling for him faster than his jacket falls off his shoulder. Blood sweat tears Jimin became a standard for sexy and charismatic that only few in kpop could reach. Who cares about his health as long as the focus fancams keep coming in, yeah?
Things went on like this and damn BTS were on fire. Bangtan boys went from nobodies from a small company to being the biggest band in the world. They won many awards. They won daesangs and BBMAS and every other award that could fit in their bag. It was surreal. They achieved all the dreams that they had set out to achieve but this also meant that they were in uncharted territories. No one had quite done what they were doing. With the realization of being the best came the realization of being all alone on the top; Here set in the existential crises. It seemed like everyone was having a hard time, all the members were struggling too much and it was all too overwhelming to the point where they had to even consider disbanding and there are a lot of things that Jimin hadn’t imagined happening that happened but boy, this was the least of them all.
He was struggling so much but it was all on the inside you know? Never quite on surface. On surface he was everyone’s resident mochi but in reality there was hate, just so much fucking hate it made his head hurt. Everytime he opened twitter there were a dozen comments about how Jimin as a singer, as a dancer, as an artist; as a person just wasn’t enough.
But he kept powering through. Kept walking with his head high even though he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Jimin along the way decided to write a song of his own. Something that is Jimin in it’s very essence. To begin with it was a song about how he wasn’t enough. It got so bad that at one point he was practically cursing himself through his own song for just not being enough.
Along the way, there was a concert. It was one of the biggest they had ever done; citifield USA. It was a big damn deal. It felt unreal seeing so many people with their army bombs held high, tears in their eyes, all for these seven boys. Jimin was reminded of a time some months back when he was watching a video of his fans singing ‘young forever’ and how back in the day when he was having a hard time figuring himself out, he had cried his out to that song and to the people he loves so much. He couldn’t quite contain that feeling and ended up crying during the encore and boy when he cried it rained in some hearts. He cried looking at the sea of people that was no longer a mirage. Jimin being Jimin, decided that he wouldn’t sing about his struggle and his pain but would much rather sing about the fruits at the end of his despair so, he took some time out, got himself back on his own feet and did a complete 360 for his solo song.
Instead of talking about how his pain and his struggle bothered him he just promised himself to not allow those things to bother him anymore. It was honestly therapeutic. The song that came out at the end of all this pain was a ‘promise’. A promise to help himself get through the night.
It was a long motherfucking road till here but at the end of all despair there was just one answer that he found, loving himself. The end of his despair wasn’t in how other people loved him but in how he needed to love himself, so now a days he does just that.
He loves himself.
He is goofy on stage, he doesn’t strictly stick to choreography now a days, he has his fun on stage. He isn’t scared of changing notes live on stage because even if his voice cracks or if he misses a step, now he knows, it’s only human. He eats too, atleast that’s what he tells his people. He does live shows where he is eating and tells everyone that he loves having midnight snacks and that he won’t diet again. Some people choose to believe him having no other choice but to hope he’s not caught in a lie again. The best thing though is that, He smiles a lot too recently and it’s the same smile; the same pre debut, familiar coming home Jimin eyesmile.
Guess it’s like coming home afterall, the 18 year boy who left a career, his hometown, all his loved ones and moved to the big city of Seoul all for a single dream that he had no guarantee of ever fulfilling. It really is coming home, coming home to himself and realizing that after all these years the only thing that has changed is that he became BTS’s Jimin from Park Jimin but underneath it all it’s just that same boy from Busan who can’t laugh without flinging his body across the room. The same boy who gets offended when asked about his height. The same little boy with the world’s biggest heart holding all of the love in his lil’ mochi hands and his little pinky that he has intertwined to make a promise, not just for us to love us but for him to love himself the way he deserves to be loved.
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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This started as a little pencil test for practice, but I got interested in the hair movement halfway through and wanted to see how it looks cleaned up, then decided I might as well finish the whole thing. Can’t wait for Spider-Man: Homecoming :)
I hate when people say immigrants are stealing their jobs and people use “Ahmed the doctor” so say they aren’t, I know an Ahmed the doctor, he worked as a taxi driver because he couldn’t his license renewed as a doctor because immigrantion had him under suspension of being tied with Hamas or something because he’s originally from Gaza, it took a boy bleeding out on the back of his car after being shot in California, and Ahmed the doctor saved his life and the state wanted to deport him for practicing medicine even though he was told not to, and the family of the boy ended up being really wealthy and fighting the court to keep him and get his medical license, it took a fucking rich family to pity him so he can be a doctor again, so yeah, sometimes Ahmed the doctor is the janitor or the taxi driver. What they work as doesn’t mean shit or you should respect them any less
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