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Sooo... I read AWTWB... (aka my Carry On retrospective)
(Spoiler free section)
I couldn't let this series wrap up without posting on here again so I just wanted to pop in and give some of my thoughts on the final book and see what any of y'all think.
I'll start with my overall opinion of the book; which is, I now understand what it is to be completely whelmed by something. I'm not disappointed, I'm not overjoyed... but i'm also not quite... full. Like while I was reading the book I was happy, and I was along for the ride but as soon as I finished it I couldn't help but feel like something was missing. I'll go more into in the spoiler section but overall I really liked the book but I just didn't love it.
(Spoilers bellow the cut)
I should start with the fact that this is definitely a case of manage your expectations, like realistically no book can live up to 5 years of suspense and speculation. I honestly can't even believe this book is HERE. Like I can't wrap my head around the facts that it actually exist. I truly don't think I'll ever be able to articulate how deeply engrained in my being these characters all are. I read Fangirl in 2014, before Carry On had been announced our probably even written, I was 13 and Cath was the first character who ever, I don't know... got it. It was the first time I read a book and the main character thought like I thought, and it made me feel valid, it made me feel like I could be ok. I read Fangirl and it made me feel less alone in the world, it made me feel like I could have a future, like I deserved a future. But this isn't about that book, though in retrospect I can see it flaws and all and still appreciate the way I used to love it. As soon as I heard about Carry On's release I dove into the World of Mages. I loved it. I loved every second of Carry On when I read. It made me smile, and cry, and look more closely at the world around me. Carry On reminded me what magic was in a time I'd grown cynical to the whole world. And the more I read it the more I loved it. The politics, the world, the family trees, I loved all of it.
So in highschool I was obsessed with the book, it was one of my only forms of escapism, the thing getting me through the long days and even longer nights. I didn't have a lot of free time but what I did I spent on this tumblr diving even further into the world of mages. It's part of the reason I liked that the initial book left so many questions unanswered, there was so many places to go with it, so many scenes to fill in. But then college rolled around and I drifted away from the world of mages, I was too busy with homework, and work work, and 'forming real human connections' to check on here (and honestly the internet just became an exhausting place to be) but I always kept Carry On with me. (Literally and metaphorically, I had a stack of YA novels in my college dorm and my first apartment.) So when Wayward Son was released I lost my shit. I was so excited for the release of that book, I cleared my schedule the week it came out and read it in two days. AND I LOVED IT. I know Wayward Son has some mixed opinions and it's definitely not everyones cup of tea but personally I loved it. I thought she addressed both Baz and Simons trauma while still providing a compelling plot and I loved the introduction of Shepard and the whole exploration of America.
And then we get to Any Way The Wind Blows... and I'm just like not thrilled with the plot... like that was always my favorite part of Carry On and subsequently Wayward Son, that yes there was romance, but there was also so much more, there was adventure and friendship and family (both found and blood) and MAGIC. The characters had motivations and desires. And then we get to AWTWB's and all that gets tossed to the side. The whole book is just about the characters romantic relationships. Every time Simon even scoots close to having a breakthrough about where to go with his life or how to cope, him and Baz just end up hooking up. And then by the end of the book he's still only really doing anything for Baz, like he wants to get better but only because he thinks Baz deserves better. It just feels like it's setting up a bit of an unhealthy president for the relationship that the character isn't motivated to change. Like obviously I want Simon and Baz to be happy and in love and those moments made me smile but idk maybe I wanted more Ikea less Vampire Kink (not kink shaming I just think Simon wasn't really listening to Baz about how uncomfortable it made him). And it was like that with ALL the characters, like I don't need three enemies to lovers plots running simultaneously in different stages. Like I loved Penny and Shepards plot, but there was ZERO reason for her and Simon to not speak basically the whole book. And WTF was up with Agatha, did the goats even actually do anything? Why did that happen the same day as Smith Smith? They were unrelated? There were three plots that didn't actually tie together. Also as much as I liked Niamh and am so here for more wlw representation I just wasn't that in to the story, because again it was the third romance in the book, why did all the characters have too be paired off by the end to have happy futures? They're 20? Agatha could have just as happily been aro and lived with the goats and there would have been more time in the book to explore like her actual autonomy or any of the other important details that were brushed over.
That all turned ranty but I honestly just don't know how to feel about the book. Like I'm trying to appreciate it for what it is instead of being disappointed it isn't what I wanted but it just feel like there were so many missed opportunities. I understand Rainbow Rowell was writing about endings and growth and that Simon need to separate himself from the chosen one identity to find himself, but he doesn't do those things, so it just makes it frustrating to see that part so actively left out of the book when it's still his life. It kinda just read as an unfulfilling fanfic.
Overall I'm just very on the fence, all these opinions are only a few hours after my first reading and I'm honestly probably gonna reread the trilogy again when I have time and maybe that will give me a different perspective. Let me know you're thoughts on the book or if you disagree or agree with anything I said (as I said I'm still unsure of my opinion of the book). I'm happy this book exist and that these characters exist and that there's finally a close to this chapter, I just didn't think this would be what it would feel like.
I've been thinking more and scrolling through the tag and just wanted to add a few thing to the post. More spoilers ahead
Firstly, if you loved AWTWB, that's great! Books impact everyone differently based on their personal experience and I'm happy you loved it. I did really like the book, Rainbow Rowell's writing is beautiful as always and all of her characters are impeccable, I even love the little side characters she mentions like the dryad and Penny's younger sister who overly mother's her siblings, she's so great at describing the essence of a person within a short amount of text. There's just certain parts that were for me a little lackluster.
Secondly, I've some thoughts on Smith Smith-Richards. I don't like him, and not in the way you're supposed to dislike a villain. I just really can't believe all those mages let him cast an untested spell on them. I get what Baz said about "of course it's easy to say that from the other side" but like even if you desperately want something to be true this seems a bit extreme. It also just really makes all of the adults in this world look like a literal joke, which seems to kinda be the point but no one has any desire to fix it. Like yes the message can be that the world's a mess and it's not your responsibility to fix it but NO ONE had the desire to fix it. The book ends on the whole world of mage's having an existential crisis.
Thirdly, the magic. I know Carry On was the end of the Simon Snow epic and that WS and AWTWB were about moving past trauma and into beginnings/endings and that that's why Simon/Baz plot was slower with less stakes, but Simon's literally a dragon boy, the need to strip him completely from magic feels absurd. Like it feels like Smith Smith could have been cut and instead their plot could have been them finding out he was a Salisbury earlier and reconciling with that throughout the book and making terms with the fact that he does belong in the world of mages and is still apart of magic, instead of him rejecting magic the whole book, because he already did that all throughout WS and constantly mentions how he behaved that way in the time between CO and WS, it feels a bit like feeding a fed horse and I feel it really could have looked at how he's gonna actually move forward. Without Smith Smith, we still could have had Penny and Shepards demon troubles and it would make sense why she and Simon weren't speaking (if he was trying to cope with all this new info and she was distracted by a demon), and then Agatha would be the one who saves Watford with her little goat adventure which I feel like would be a great parallel to Carry On because Simon is stepping away from his role as chosen one and getting to have a normal life of magic while Agatha is no longer a damsel in distress but the one saving the day on her own terms! Idk once again a bit of a ramble I just feel like the world of mages got left in a bit of shambles and I love them and want them all happy. (Which I understand isn't completely realistic and is me projecting but like she at least could have hinted at ways for repair that any of the characters were pursuing)
Lastly, Simon and Baz relationship. I didn't say this before cause it didn't seem necessary, but I love them. They're so cute together and I'm so happy they have each other and are so in love and it warms my cold little heart. I'm so happy that they were communicating better throughout the book and are gonna have a future together. (And grow old together!) I will literally take any bit of snowbaz content I can get I just wish they could have been sent off on a bit more solid ground.
As I said my opinions are really up in the air and scrambled on this book, I really can't remember the last time I felt this divided on a novel, originally I just put it off as "oh this book isn't for me, the problem isn't the book it's that I've out grown this type of book", but no, if anything this book should be for me, I've grown up with these characters, every-time I've read one of these books I've been in the same stage of life as these characters, and I really wanted to love the book, to not pick holes in it, but it just feels like there's something missing. Anyway all these thoughts are subject to change just wanted to see what y'all thought.
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Sooo... I read AWTWB... (aka my Carry On retrospective)
(Spoiler free section)
I couldn't let this series wrap up without posting on here again so I just wanted to pop in and give some of my thoughts on the final book and see what any of y'all think.
I'll start with my overall opinion of the book; which is, I now understand what it is to be completely whelmed by something. I'm not disappointed, I'm not overjoyed... but i'm also not quite... full. Like while I was reading the book I was happy, and I was along for the ride but as soon as I finished it I couldn't help but feel like something was missing. I'll go more into in the spoiler section but overall I really liked the book but I just didn't love it.
(Spoilers bellow the cut)
I should start with the fact that this is definitely a case of manage your expectations, like realistically no book can live up to 5 years of suspense and speculation. I honestly can't even believe this book is HERE. Like I can't wrap my head around the facts that it actually exist. I truly don't think I'll ever be able to articulate how deeply engrained in my being these characters all are. I read Fangirl in 2014, before Carry On had been announced our probably even written, I was 13 and Cath was the first character who ever, I don't know... got it. It was the first time I read a book and the main character thought like I thought, and it made me feel valid, it made me feel like I could be ok. I read Fangirl and it made me feel less alone in the world, it made me feel like I could have a future, like I deserved a future. But this isn't about that book, though in retrospect I can see it flaws and all and still appreciate the way I used to love it. As soon as I heard about Carry On's release I dove into the World of Mages. I loved it. I loved every second of Carry On when I read. It made me smile, and cry, and look more closely at the world around me. Carry On reminded me what magic was in a time I'd grown cynical to the whole world. And the more I read it the more I loved it. The politics, the world, the family trees, I loved all of it.
So in highschool I was obsessed with the book, it was one of my only forms of escapism, the thing getting me through the long days and even longer nights. I didn't have a lot of free time but what I did I spent on this tumblr diving even further into the world of mages. It's part of the reason I liked that the initial book left so many questions unanswered, there was so many places to go with it, so many scenes to fill in. But then college rolled around and I drifted away from the world of mages, I was too busy with homework, and work work, and 'forming real human connections' to check on here (and honestly the internet just became an exhausting place to be) but I always kept Carry On with me. (Literally and metaphorically, I had a stack of YA novels in my college dorm and my first apartment.) So when Wayward Son was released I lost my shit. I was so excited for the release of that book, I cleared my schedule the week it came out and read it in two days. AND I LOVED IT. I know Wayward Son has some mixed opinions and it's definitely not everyones cup of tea but personally I loved it. I thought she addressed both Baz and Simons trauma while still providing a compelling plot and I loved the introduction of Shepard and the whole exploration of America.
And then we get to Any Way The Wind Blows... and I'm just like not thrilled with the plot... like that was always my favorite part of Carry On and subsequently Wayward Son, that yes there was romance, but there was also so much more, there was adventure and friendship and family (both found and blood) and MAGIC. The characters had motivations and desires. And then we get to AWTWB's and all that gets tossed to the side. The whole book is just about the characters romantic relationships. Every time Simon even scoots close to having a breakthrough about where to go with his life or how to cope, him and Baz just end up hooking up. And then by the end of the book he's still only really doing anything for Baz, like he wants to get better but only because he thinks Baz deserves better. It just feels like it's setting up a bit of an unhealthy president for the relationship that the character isn't motivated to change. Like obviously I want Simon and Baz to be happy and in love and those moments made me smile but idk maybe I wanted more Ikea less Vampire Kink (not kink shaming I just think Simon wasn't really listening to Baz about how uncomfortable it made him). And it was like that with ALL the characters, like I don't need three enemies to lovers plots running simultaneously in different stages. Like I loved Penny and Shepards plot, but there was ZERO reason for her and Simon to not speak basically the whole book. And WTF was up with Agatha, did the goats even actually do anything? Why did that happen the same day as Smith Smith? They were unrelated? There were three plots that didn't actually tie together. Also as much as I liked Niamh and am so here for more wlw representation I just wasn't that in to the story, because again it was the third romance in the book, why did all the characters have too be paired off by the end to have happy futures? They're 20? Agatha could have just as happily been aro and lived with the goats and there would have been more time in the book to explore like her actual autonomy or any of the other important details that were brushed over.
That all turned ranty but I honestly just don't know how to feel about the book. Like I'm trying to appreciate it for what it is instead of being disappointed it isn't what I wanted but it just feel like there were so many missed opportunities. I understand Rainbow Rowell was writing about endings and growth and that Simon need to separate himself from the chosen one identity to find himself, but he doesn't do those things, so it just makes it frustrating to see that part so actively left out of the book when it's still his life. It kinda just read as an unfulfilling fanfic.
Overall I'm just very on the fence, all these opinions are only a few hours after my first reading and I'm honestly probably gonna reread the trilogy again when I have time and maybe that will give me a different perspective. Let me know you're thoughts on the book or if you disagree or agree with anything I said (as I said I'm still unsure of my opinion of the book). I'm happy this book exist and that these characters exist and that there's finally a close to this chapter, I just didn't think this would be what it would feel like.
I remember that Sunday we sat in the cemetery and you were saying “I just want to love someone, I have so much to give” and you said it so earnestly it almost hid the truth of what you really wanted to say, which was, “I just want to feel loved. I just want to feel loveable”.
Because back then we both thought that this would have been such a shameful thing to admit - as though to want for anything was a growth from desperation, as though to take was less dignified than to give. So we cloaked desire in the lyrics of what we had to offer. Believing that giving necessitated receiving. I think back then, we still believed in simplicity - that so long as somebody allowed us to love them, we would be loved in return.
Sue Zhao // “Can you write about wanting to give love so badly?”
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He was in The Lifespan Of a Fact on Broadway and my school gave out free tickets so two of my roomates went to see it and then me and one of my other roomates met up with then to stage door the show, and I met him. He was wearing a Detroit Lions beanie and we briefly bonded over Michgan sports as his girlfriend is from the Flint area. And that was it. All in all it was a minute long experience and all I have is a photo to show for it. But it was still pretty damn amazing.
Yesssss Emperor's New Groove. Also I am Ready for you stories about college
Lol, I hoped youd appreciate the Disney reference.
As far as college goes theres a lot to cover, about 9 months worth... but I guess I can give the abridge version and if anyone wants more details I can ellaboate.
It feels like first and second semester are two different worlds, and so I'll describe them like that.
First semester:
Honestly a pretty quiet time. I'd describe it as the honeymoon phase. I had fairly easy classes that I did well in. I kept to myself and hung out with my roomates a lot. I did as much theatre as I could. And I just generally adjusted to city life. Honestly the most interesting thing that happened was that my English prof had an affair with a student and got fired halfway through the semester, which I genuinely dont know much about other than it led to us all getting great grades. I learned to love New York, I found my way around the city, but I also got kinda depressed cause I was having a hard time meeting new people and was generally closed off. (Oh also I met Daniel Radcliffe)(Which was pretty dope)
Second Semester:
This is when shit hit the fan. Before winter break my family had come to visit, which was nice, I got to show them the city at Christmas, and then I spent 5 weeks alone back in Michigan, which fucking sucked, 2/10 would not recomend, cause I cant drive so not being able to go anywhere alone was really annoying, plus I'd generally cut ties with people I knew in Michigan. So I was excited to get back into the city. And this semester I was taking much more challenging classes that required in total 100 hours if homework a week at the least. So I didnt have much free time. It was through these classes that I met the people I now consider my best friends, including the people who I'm now roomates with. On top of all my homework my roomates were fighting a lot, it had nothing to do with me but was just generally aggravating, so I tried to stay out of my dorm a lot. So I spent a lot of late night working at school. On top of all my work I went to my first proper college party, and I generally started going out more, which was a lot of fun and very refreshing from the prior semester. I did something's I wasn't proud of, aswell as somethings I never thought I would do but I didnt end up disliking. For spring break my new friends and I road tripped to New Hampshire which was incredible and I could write a whole separate post about. I did more theatre, I made amazing connections, I went to my first proper Broadway musical along with a lot of plays. I worked hard and did ok in my classes. And despite my stress had a pretty decent time.
Which leads me to now, I live in New York full time with 3 roomates and my cat. And I kinda love it. Like this city is stressful and dirty and I've had more break downs here than I could ever possibly count but I couldnt imagine living anywhere else.
That was probably so much longer than you were expecting but honestly theres so much more I could say. I hope it all made sense.
I also didnt sleep much, so I feel this is the best gif to describe this year
I saw a notif for your newest post and!!! You're back!!
Hi!! Well I'm kind of back. Like I've started lurking through tumblr again. I just finished my first year of college. And I'm not gonna lie, it was ruff (if yall have any questions about it I'd be happy to answer, but I dont think its gonna be what yall expect). On top of that I've now permanently moved to NYC, and I'm getting like a real person job. I just dont feel like the same person who was on here making art this time last year. But I am gonna try and get something snowbaz related out before Wayward Son releases. Cause despite everything I am still really excited about it.
I'm happy to see theres still people who remember this blog, I was a little worried I'd killed it off when I disappeared.
But for all intensive purposes, I'm back! And im excited to see what I've missed!
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Hello lovelies! There doesn’t seem to be an active source network that I know of in this fandom, and what’s a fandom without network and events? But with Wayward Son on its way, the fandom seems to be thriving! Hence, this network has been solely created with the purpose of providing a common platform for Carry On content. A reblog as signal boost would be appreciated immensely!
This blog is still under construction as it has been brought to life just a couple hours ago so apologies for the sparse content but I assure you this blog will be updated six times a day. Even though this blog is being ran by a single person as of now, there may be applications open to apply and such things in future.
Since I would like to remain anonymous (for now, at least), I’ve no way of signal boosting this/promoting this, thus I would be mentioning some carry on/multifandom blogs, feel free to ignore this (which I don’t recommend because this is a fandom activity and it’s only fun when the whole family celebrates it together, but you do you, you funky lil’ gremlin!) or signal boost the ever loving sweet scone out of this! Apologies in advance if this is bothersome :)
Thank you for your attention fellas! Once again consider reblogging this post, the tag which is being tracked is #carryonsource (using that tag expands my excess to carry on content since I’m still relatively new to this fandom) Have a lovely day!
P.S - Apologies for any errors in English, it’s not my first language and yes I’m aware the icon is hideous. The blog will go under a renovating phase soon! :)
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