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summary: 2009!phan in which dan finds something unexpected on philâs phone. itâs not a bad thing, but philâs still embarrassed by it.
word count: 3.1k
written for @phandomreversebang
artist: Â @awrfz ;3
beta: @dansphlevels (tysm!)
[read on ao3]
[LINK TO ART]
Dan was very relaxed, to say the least. He was up in Manchester visiting Phil for the weekend, able to forget about all the problems that existed back home. He and Phil were laying on Philâs couch with Danâs head resting on Philâs chest. It was late in the evening and they were pretending to watch a movie. In reality, Dan was slowly dozing off, the sound of Philâs heartbeat incredibly soothing, while Phil had one hand typing on his phone and the other in Danâs hair.
Dan sighed, letting his eyes drift close. It was probably a bad idea for him to fall asleep on Phil, but he was too comfortable to care. He felt Phil laugh, noticing Dan drifting off.
âDonât fall asleep on me,â Phil teased, smiling fondly at him.
âBut youâre too cozy,â Dan whined, âand my bodyâs tired.â
Phil was feeling sleepy himself, the warm weight of Dan on top of him giving him a sense of comfort and safety. He yawned, his muscles loosening and phone slipping out of his hand.
Dan smiled, opening his eyes at the sound of the phone hitting the floor. âSeems like Iâm not the only one whoâs ready for bed.â
Phil let his own eyes slip shut, his mind slowly drifting off. For teasing Dan for being tired, Phil was falling asleep faster than Dan was. The only thing that kept him from fully drifting off was Dan whining.
âWhat is it?â Phil murmured.
âYou stopped playing with my hair. And you dropped your phone, you goof.â
Phil merely hummed, not too worried about his phone. It had suffered much worse; it had suffered through the Great Kitchen War, it could survive being dropped a foot.
Dan rolled his eyes, reaching down off the couch to pick up Philâs phone for him. He picked it up and, noticing the screen was still on, decided to look at what Phil had been doing on his phone.
He was expecting something like twitter or dailybooth, things Phil normally was on. At worse, he could have been looking at porn or something kinky (in which case the evening would become much more interesting).
He stared at the phone in complete confusion. Out of all the possibilities, he hadnât ever considered⌠this.
On the screen was an art piece, clearly with Philâs signature. While Phil hadnât let Dan see a lot of his art, from the few pieces he had seen he could recognize Philâs signature. He had always thought that Phil was too shy or insecure about his art to show Dan or even that he didnât make a lot of art in the first place.
Yet here was one of Philâs art pieces, one that Dan had never seen. Though, Dan was beginning to understand why Phil hadnât shown it to him.
The art piece was of a cat. Not a regular cat, however. An anthropomorphic, piss yellow cat. Better known as a fursona.
Dan blinked. What in the actual fuck?
âYou didnât tell me that you were a furry.â
Phil was too tired to care about any insecurities he held over his âsecretâ furry life (or at least, Dan was assuming it was a secret, considering that Phil had never told him about it). Instead, he simply began to pet Danâs hair, his fingers tangling themselves in the strands.
It almost distracted Dan from the picture on Philâs phone. Almost.
âPhil,â Dan whined, poking Philâs cheek to get his attention.
Finally, Phil opened his eyes again. âHm?â
Dan held up Philâs phone. âYouâre a furry?â
Phil looked at the phone. Once he saw what it was, his eyes widened. Suddenly he was very awake. âShit. I mean-uh, I didnât draw that.â
Dan stared at him in disbelief.
âWell I did, but that doesnât make me a furry.â
Dan scrolled down the website page. There was a section promoting more work from the user. All of them were of the same piss yellow cat.
Phil blushed. âOkay, maybe I am a furry.â
Dan sighed, moving to sit up. Phil got up with him, avoiding any eye contact. He was embarrassed, to say the least. Furries were for weird middle aged gamer men who liked animal porn, at least thatâs what Phil had always thought. That wasnât to say that he was any of those, of course.
âIs that your⌠fursona? Is that what itâs called?â Dan asked, genuinely curious.
Phil shrugged. âI-uhm- yeah, it is. My fursona, itâs my fursona.â He could feel his cheeks burning with shame. This was awful, Dan was never supposed to find out.
Dan gently cupped Philâs cheek, noticing the older manâs distress. âHey, itâs okay. Itâs not that weird.â
Phil leaned into Danâs touch. âIt is, though.â
âMaybe a little, but thatâs only because I donât understand it.â
Phil didnât say anything in response, so Dan kissed his forehead in comfort, then looked at Philâs fursona again.
âI think itâs kind of cute,,â he commented, smiling softly, âI like it, even if it is piss yellow.â
That managed to get a reaction out of Phil. âIt is not piss yellow,â he whined, though he smiled.
âPhil, please, that is 100% piss yellow.â
Phil giggled, finally looking up. âYouâre just blind.â
Dan rolled his eyes. âWhatever, itâs still a good design.â
Philâs cheeks turned pink and he looked down again, this time to hide his smile. âThanks.â
âSo you choose a cat for your fursona?â
Phil nodded, looking back up. Dan was wandering into dangerous territory by beginning to ask about Philâs fursona. Phil could talk for hours about it. He was slightly obsessed. Nothing to be concerned about.
âI can see it, youâre definitely a cat.â He began to play with Philâs hair, letting his hands get lost in the mane that was Philâs hair. Despite it being thick, it was soft. âYou love having your hair played with and pet.â He dug his fingers gently onto Philâs scalp, massaging it.
Philâs eyes fluttered shut, sighing contently at the feeling. He could feel a fuzzy feeling stirring in his chest from the affection coming from Dan. He moved so that he was nuzzling Danâs neck, making Dan giggle.
âYouâre so cuddly and love my attention,â Dan teased, though he wasnât complaining. Phil gave the best and warmest cuddles Dan had ever experienced.
Phil hummed, his arms wrapping around Danâs waist. âKeep going.â
Dan thought for a moment; he hadnât gotten that far along. âUm, well⌠youâre really cute? Cuter than a kitten?â
Phil laughed. âYou ran out of ideas didnât you?â
Dan didnât answer, instead choosing to plant soft kisses on Philâs hair. They stayed like that for a while, enjoying each otherâs warmth.
Eventually, Dan broke the silence. âHow did you first get into the furry shit then? Like, when did you design your fursona and everything?â
âIt was a long time ago,â Phil began, âMaybe around middle school or high school? When the internet really began to take off. I saw pics of anthropomorphic animals and thought that they were pretty cool. I kind of started designing my own fursona towards the end of high school, when I started getting into art a lot more.â
Dan nodded, listening intently.
âI choose a cat because, well, I always thought they were cute and funny, but I never got to have one because of my allergies. Yellow was my favorite color at the time, and it kind of stuck after that.â
âSo youâve had the same fursona since high school?â
Phil shook his head. âNo, Iâve done tons of redesigns. I think there was one design where I made it pink instead of yellow, though Iâm pretty sure I was drunk at the time. That one was scrapped pretty quickly.â
Dan smiled, then yawned. The drowsiness from earlier was slowly returning. âIâm glad; pink would have been ugly.â
Phil laughed. âYeah, it would have been. But I like the design I have now, and Iâve had it for about two years now. I-uh- I even have a fursuit.â
âA fursuit?â
Phil felt a bit embarrassed, but he couldnât escape this. Dan hadnât made fun of him so far; he should be fine. âItâs like, dressing up as my fursona? Wearing a suit that makes you look like an animal. I donât really know how to describe it.â
Dan shrugged. âItâs okay, you can just show it to me.â He yawned again, sleep calling his name.
Phil noticed Dan yawning and smiled softly. He brushed Danâs fringe out of his face, admiring the softness of Danâs sleepy eyes. âI will, love. But youâre exhausted and itâs getting to be early morning. I think we should sleep first.â
Dan nodded in agreement. As much as heâd like to hear Phil explain more about his fursona to Dan, sleep was calling like a siren to a sailor and he couldnât ignore it. âLetâs go to your bed, itâll be comfier there.â
The two sleepily moved to Philâs room, Dan practically collapsing on Philâs bed. Phil giggled, watching as he curled up into a ball, waiting for Phil to cuddle him.
Phil laid down behind him, pulling Dan close like a teddy bear. He closed his eyes, breathing in the scent of Dan. There was nothing that put him to sleep faster than cuddling Dan, a scientific fact that he had proven many, many times.
Within seconds, Phil was fast asleep, Dan soon following after him.
Dan woke up before Phil far too early in the morning. Not wanting to get up, he turned until he was facing Phil and nuzzled his chest, getting comfortable. Phil shifted only a little, his arms adjusting their grip before Phil let out a sigh and was once again lost to the world. Dan closed his eyes, focused on his heartbeat, and let himself be carried back off to sleep.
They ended up sleeping until the afternoon, both tired from staying up too late. Few words were exchanged when they woke up, mainly because Phil hadnât had coffee yet. It was a slight addiction that he probably should consider cutting back on, but sleep deprivation is a killer and coffee is the only saving cure.
They ended up making some breakfast of pancakes and eggs, though the pancakes didnât turn out as good as American ones tasted. Despite the off taste, Phil still ended up eating way too many.
The two ended up back in Philâs lounge (where they discovered that they had left the dvd player on). Dan was back to laying on top of Phil, his body not quite ready to face the day yet. With full tummies, they were both content to drift off into a hazy food coma.
Phil was doodling aimlessly with his finger on Danâs back, content to lay in silence and embrace the morning.
He thought back to their conversation last night, and how Dan wasnât freaked out at all by Philâs furry side. Phil couldnât help but smile, remembering how understanding Dan had been despite knowing nothing about furries other than what social media told him.
Phil looked down at Dan, curled up on his chest, hair curling slightly from sleep. If he hadnât thought Dan was a keeper before he definitely was now.
âDan,â Phil whispered, smiling widely.
Dan groaned, lifting his head. His eyes were sleepy and dark bags had settled beneath them and he couldnât look more perfect. Phil softly pulled Danâs lips to his own, feeling Dan hum with lazy delight.
They ended up making out slowly, both too sleepy to really get into things. Phil let himself get distracted by the touch of Danâs mouth against his. They both still had a bit of morning breath, however Phil was willing to suffer a little for Dan.
They parted with flushed cheeks and red lips, Dan hovering slightly over Phil.
âGood morning to you too,â Dan laughed breathlessly. If his hair had been slightly curly before, it was now a complete mess from Phil running his hands through it while they made out.
âMore like good afternoon. We stayed up really late.â
Dan shrugged. âWe were talking about stuff, or more specifically, your secret furry life.â He smirked. âSpeaking of which, I believe there is something you want to show me.â
Phil sighed dramatically. âI guess, if you really want to see itâŚâ
Dan rolled his eyes. âShut up.â He stood up, stretching his arms over his head to wake his muscles up. âSo, whereâs it at?â
âStay here, Iâll go grab it.â Phil stood up and walked back towards his room. He opened his closet to reveal a pile of faux fur lying on the ground, a giant cat head resting on top of it. He figured heâd start with the head first, mainly because it got super sweaty real fast inside his fursuit. Not to mention how long itâd take to get on.
He picks up the head and puts it on, adjusting it so he can see out of it properly. Then he heads back to where Danâs at, eager to show him.
When Dan saw Phil, his jaw dropped.
âYeah so, uh, this is the head to it,â Phil stammered. âI didnât want to wear the rest of the suit, just cause itâs a hassle to put on, and, uhm, yeaâŚâ
Dan walked over, looking at the head even closer. It was so well designed and put together. Dan was very impressed.
âI love it, holy fuck. How long did it take to put it together?â
Phil blushed underneath the suit. âA couple of months, but it was worth it.â
Dan reached out, hesitating, silently asking permission to touch it. Phil nodded in approval. Dan began to feel the fur on the suit, almost petting it like it was an actual cat. Phil giggled, leaning into the touch. Dan was gentle with the suit, terrified that heâd ruin months of hard work.
âThis is, wow.â Dan finally removed his hand. âYouâre right, it did pay off.â
Philâs heart felt fuzzy with joy. âThank you, that means a lot.â
Dan stepped back, taking one last look at it. âYou know, as much as I love looking at it, I love your face better.â
Phil rolled his eyes. âIs that your way of saying take it off?â
Dan shrugged. âI canât kiss you with it on soâŚâ
Phil didnât have to be told twice. The head was quickly removed, placed carefully on the sofa, then Dan was pulling Phil in for a long, hard kiss. Once they parted, he rested his forehead against Philâs, taking Philâs hands in his own.
âThank you,â Phil whispered breathlessly.
âWhat for?â
âFor not thinking Iâm weird or creepy or whatever.â
Dan smiled. âOf course.â
They stood there for a while, Dan playing with Philâs hands and Phil enjoying the calm silence. They had their awkward silences, sure, but those had become with time, replaced instead with a quiet that made Phil feel at home.
âHey Phil?â Dan broke the silence.
âHm?â Phil wasnât quite ready to leave the moment, wanting to stay still and enjoy Danâs presence a little longer.
Dan hesitated, then finally said, âDo you think we could design me a fursona?â
Phil looked up, a bit surprised. âReally?â
Dan grinned sheepishly. âYeah, it looks like a lot of fun.â
Phil was way too excited about this, but he didnât care. His boyfriend wanted a fursona and he was going to get the best motherfluffing fursona.
Phil took Dan back up to his room and grabbed his sketchbook, opening to an empty page to jot down ideas. He sat down at his desk, Dan standing beside him.
âFirst things first,â Phil said eagerly, pen in hand and ready to fully convert Dan to the furry lifestyle, âwhat animal do you want your fursona to be?â
Dan shrugged. He hadnât put that much thought in it, only thinking about how fun it would be and how happy Phil had looked when he mentioned it. âWhat do you think?â
Phil looked Dan over. While Dan could choose whatever animal he wanted and not need it to match his personality, Phil knew him well enough that that wouldnât be enough for him. There had to be some reasoning behind it.
âA dog?â
Dan shook his head. âEveryone picks a dog, and thereâs too many breeds to choose from. Same with cats, no offense.â
âHow about a bat? Or a duck? Hamster? Bunny? Rat?â
Dan glared at him.
âYour true form.â
Dan punched him. âShut up.â
Phil thought about it some more. What was a creature that was caring, fearful at times, affectionate, and devoted like Dan?
âHow about a bear?â Phil suggested.
Dan hummed. âMaybe? Explain why.â
Phil bit his lip, thinking about it. âWell, youâre affectionate and clingy like a teddy bear. You care so much about others and would even risk your own safety for them. Even so, youâre independent and like your space.â
Phil looked up at Dan, who had turned a bright red. âI-oh. Th-thank you.â
Phil smiled softly. âSo a bear then?â
Dan nodded, still taken aback by what Phil had said about him.
Phil began to sketch, making multiple different designs. He worked quickly and quietly, mostly wanting to get the concept of it down first, not too concerned about details.
In the end, he had five designs to present to Dan. He had gone for a brown bear for Dan, seeing how they were most common and how Danâs hair matched their fur. Two of the designs were lacked clothes and focused more on markings, the rest being clothed in hoodies of Danâs that Phil loved. A few even had Danâs trademark fringe.
Dan looked it over, eyes shining with excitement and a small smile on his face. He mumbled a bit to himself, something he always did when thinking hard.
âI think I like this design.â Dan pointed to the one in his black hoodie with his fringe. It didnât have any markings. âItâs simple and well, me. I donât think the extra markings would be very me.â
Phil starred the design and made note to expand on it later. He set the paper full of the designs on the desk and stood up.
âItâs no finished design, but itâs a start,â Phil remarked, proud of his work. âWho knows, maybe one day youâll make your own fursuit for it.â
Dan laughed, dimples popping out. âPlease. I have the artistic ability of a math teacher having a midlife crisis.â
Phil rolled his eyes, but didnât argue. While he was one to advocate to others that practice makes perfect, he had seen some of Danâs artwork and well. He wasnât wrong.
âIâll have to help you out a lot then, I suppose?â
âYeah, you will. But I wouldnât have it any other way. Iâd love for you to help, to make yourself a part of it. â
Phil smiled and pressed a kiss to Danâs nose. âAnd Iâd love to be apart of it.â
Dan stared at Phil with fond eyes, blinding affection filling up his heart. âI love you, Phil.â
âLove you too, Dan.â
And when Dan visited again weeks later to begin moving into his university dorm, Phil had a drawing for him. It was their two fursonas cuddling, with âYouâre my Bearâ written above it.
i follow her and i don't think she has been okay recently so don't take what she says too seriously
ehh thats kind of rude to her bc she still can think for herself and she obviously cares about issues. Also, it is important to remember to be responsible with your words no matter what
but i wonât post anymore discourse relating to her/about her as it is more important for someone to get better than to get caught up in a tumblr argument
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hi! i was wondering if youâre still going to be posting It Isnât You chapter 4. i just really loved the fic and iâve been waiting since january 7th for a next chapter. Donât want to sound mean or anything, just asking
youâre fine! i am writing it currently however i am being bogged down by school ~u~ iâm halfway done so i should have it up this weekend or sooner! thanks for asking tho iâm sure people were wonderingÂ
Hey! It's me, Gawc! Now, I saw something that wasn't constructive criticism, praise, or a genuine ask that you responded to, which is strange, because those are the only three things you should get in your ask box! Just a reminder that I love you and your ADORABLE writing style!đđ
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Dan: This yearâs resolution. . donât scream⌠this video is an exercise in meditation.
Also Dan: hops off his chair, rolls on the floor, crawls under the desk, tries to eat his slippers, blows on the arse of a wooden moose and threatens to block a number of his audience from the channel.
ple ase do not bring mogai hell onto my blog also i couldnât care less. the unfollow/block button is right there for you. me being annoying to you isnât my problem
summary: phil eats too many sweets when heâs not by danâs side
genre: finley wrote this what do u expect
word count: 1300
warnings: slight vomit ment, fooD
a/n: hey guess what i wrote. guess. take a fUCKING GU-
Perhaps Philâs greatest enemy was his sweet tooth. It drove him to steal candy and eat all the sweets in one sitting, even if it made his stomach upset. Dan had learned to hide whatever goodies he brought home unless he wanted Phil to eat them all. His family always made sure to tease him whenever he visited and ate all their sweets.
Sometimes, however, his sweet tooth got out of hand and he ended up paying for it.
Phil was sat at a couch in the corner, watching youtubers converse in front of him. Dan was off somewhere talking to some people Phil didnât know, leaving Phil to handle socializing alone.
He had been handling it well enough until he saw the food. It was loaded with all sorts of desserts and sweets that he had to try each one of them. The treats ranged from rich chocolates to filling cheesecake bites. He had filled his plate full of desserts, earning amused eyerolls from those who knew him, then sat at the corner couch to eat them.
Phil had to admit that he did grab too many sweets, so he didnât expect himself to eat them all. The problem was, Phil was alone. Dan had left him to talk to some more popular, outgoing people. So Phil, alone with his sweets, had taken to eating to fill the hole where Dan was supposed to be.
Phil leaned against his hand, his stomach upset from both the overindulgence of sweets and how full he was. His jeans felt too tight, adding to the discomfort. He needed to lay down in his and Danâs hotel room, however he had no idea where Dan was at and didnât want to leave without him.
He pulled out his phone again to see if Dan had responded yet. He had texted Dan that he wasnât feeling well ten minutes ago, but still hadnât gotten a response. Phil sighed, wincing as his stomach turned once more. The crowded room wasnât helping with his situation. Even though he wasnât in the crowd, he could feel his skin itching and sweating from the amount of people around.
Phil stared at a pattern in the ground, counting his breaths to keep calm. He wished he had stayed with Dan and listened to him talk to others no matter how awkward he felt. He wouldnât have been stuck alone in some corner, looking like an idiot, feeling sick to his stomach from eating too many sweets.
Another five minutes passed and Phil finally couldnât stand it anymore. He needed to leave. He would just have to find Dan and try to subtly convince him to leave. Taking a deep breath, he stood up and walked into the crowd.
He forced his expression to stay positive and friendly, not wanting people to bother him. He dodged any possibilities of prolonged conversation, simply explaining that he was trying to find Dan. Some gave helpful advice as to where he was at, while others simply nodded. In the end, however, he couldnât find Dan and his stomach felt significantly worse from the movement.
Giving up, Phil left the convention hall. He felt sweaty and nauseous. Thankfully, the hotel was next door, meaning Phil wouldnât have to sit through a car ride thatâd make him more nauseous.
Once he arrived at the hotel room, he collapsed on the bed and curled up. He groaned against the pillow, regretful of his impulsive eating habits. Phil pulled out his phone and sent a text to Dan, hoping he would come up and care for him. Phil doubted it; Dan had barely noticed his disappearance and never read his first message.
Phil felt a pang of loneliness, tossing his phone in front of him. He knew he was holding Dan back from pursuing his different interests and friends. Dan had so much potential, yet he stayed with Phil, who was always smiling and making pointless videos. Dan was the one who was relatable and funny. Phil wasnât good enough for anything. He was childish and annoying, eating too many sweets and wanting Dan to comfort him even though it was his fault.
His stomach turned once more and he felt a gag in his throat. Phil got up, relocating to the bathroom in fear of the worst. He leaned against the sink, cradling his stomach. Phil wished he hadnât chosen to wear his skinny jeans (though, there wasnât anything else he could have worn) as it pressed uncomfortably against his too full stomach. He whimpered. He wanted Dan to be with him so badly, to scold him but still coddle him until he was better. But he didnât want Dan to sacrifice his evening of fun for him.
Phil didnât know how long he sat there, waiting to throw up. Yet the nausea managed to settle, so he stood up and headed back to bed. He changed into his pajamas, releasing some of the pressure on his stomach. Phil checked his phone, hoping for a message. He felt his heart drop when he saw none. He curled up once more, burying his face in the pillow and wrapping his arms around his bloated stomach.
He was brought out of his misery by the sound of someone opening the door.
âPhil?â
Dan walked in, spotting Phil on the bed. His face was full of concern and he quickly rushed over. Phil rolled onto his back, looking at Dan properly.
âWhatâs wrong?â Dan asked, pushing Philâs fringe back for him.
Phil leaned into the touch, finding relief in Danâs presence. He groaned. âI ate too much.â
âWas it the sweets?â
Phil nodded. It wasnât his first time in this situation.
âYou need to be careful about how many sweets you eat, Phil,â Dan scolded. He moved his hand so it laid on top of Philâs stomach and began to rub circles over it. âDoes that help?â
Phil nodded, eyes fluttering shut at the soft sensations. âIâm sorry.â
Dan frowned. âWhy are you sorry?â
âYou deserve to be having fun, not stuck up here with me cause I couldnât control myself.â He felt a lump form in his throat; of course he would start crying.
Dan cooed, using his other hand to cup Philâs cheek. âHey, itâs ok. Iâd much rather be with you than anyone else.â
Phil opened his eyes, looking up at Dan. âBut you shouldnât have to care for me because I ate too many sweets.â
Dan smiled softly. âIn all honesty, I think itâs endearing that you ate too many sweets. Only someone as sweet and adorable as you could do that.â
Phil flushed pink, butterflies dancing in his chest. âEw gross, youâre being sappy.â
Dan laughed at Philâs embarrassment, quickly leaning down and pecking his nose. Phil scrunched up his nose in response, somehow looking even more adorable.
Phil pouted as Dan pulled away, taking his hands with him. âI want cuddles,â Phil demanded. He felt his stomach cramp, making him pout. âAnd belly rubs.â
âAlright, needy,â Dan smiled, âlet me change it my pajamas first.â
Phil watched him leave the room, a hand coming up to his tummy. It grumbled unhappily, making Phil frown and rub it slightly. His stomach felt better from Danâs rubbing, but it was still quite upset.
Dan came back in the room, dressed in pajamas. He grabbed his laptop and settled on bed with it, Phil immediately clinging onto him. Dan giggled, pulling Phil in so that he was sitting on Danâs lap, the laptop balanced on his knees.
âPick whatever movie youâd like,â Dan said, wrapping his arms so that his hands rested on Philâs stomach. He rubbed circles with his thumbs, making Phil melt under his touch.
âThank you,â Phil whispered. He clicked on a movie and let it play, fully relaxing into Danâs embrace.
Dan smiled, leaning his head against Philâs. âAnytime.â
send sickfic prompts cowards i canât guarantee iâll write them bc eeeeeeeee work but you can try
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