take it sleazy

survived checking my bank account. i deserve a little treat

this had better not alter the Numbers in my bank account

by Talos this can't be happening

another cool thing is when you devour a book over the course of a handful of hours and it fucks you up and you just have to lie on the couch feeling like your brain went swimming for too long & only just came up from under the water. art is so good

the clock & calculator apps are like twin sisters to me

number...

a baby can be born right now at 12:00, on a wednesday, august 24 in new jersey while another baby is also born in the exact same moment but they are born 9:00, on a tuesday, august 23 in california, these babies that are born at the same moment are technically because of time zones, a concept that we created ourselves, born “hours” apart even though really they are born at the same moment just not the same “time”, one will be considered older even though in actuality they are the same

Wtf

Its weird for me to think that dolphins existed at the same time as queens and knights and shit like that. I feel like dolphins were invented in the 80s by crystal shops to sell porcelain statues to divorced women

me, showing off my university degree: that’s right everyone, i paid multiple dollars to the government in order to attain sporadic sprinklings of knowledge that i forgot two months after each class ended

Me getting my name called to get my order at Starbucks