(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

did you yeet today or did today yeet you?

me: compulsively switches between the same 4 apps for 12 hours straight because i’m absolutely incapable of being left alone w my thoughts

self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the Fucking void

May we suggest a Soothing Bath™ instead

People without glasses are really out here seeing for free

Oh my god I really do have to pay to see what the fuck

Can we just let him out on good behaivor? Cause that’s fucking outstanding.

🤷

My nigga said he set the appointment up. Legendary.

His lawyer was smiling like a proud father

He even warned him.

Correct response tbh

If you ask yourself “Would Gomez Addams treat me this way?” And the answer is no, move tf on from that situation.

Emotionally abusive people fucking suck because they act like they’re the victims and that they’re the nicest person in the world. They make you feel like utter crap and make it nearly impossible for you to prove that you’re the actual victim.

if you didn’t believe that England hates Donald Trump already: the most recent news of his visit today is that the mayor of London approved protestors releasing a £16,000 Trump in-a-diaper balloon to fly 98ft above ground when he visits, and literally no British person is surprised. Welcome to London.

the best part about this is that trump expected to have a royally welcome visit but as soon as he made an appearance, thousands of angry British people started chanting “fuck trump!” on repreat for hours.

england, you’re doing amazing, sweetie, this made me so happy

Ok, i’ve been seeing these all over today and I’ve been very happy, but I think “Trump wears poorly tailored suits” is the most hilarious and utterly British insult I’ve seen all day. It’s lovely.

@just-call-me-lizard I figure that you would love this. Especially the first sighn

LOL

Xiaoin Showdown was an amazing fucking show and nobody will tell me otherwise

Everyone go home. Puns are done.