i keep thinking about that night. The green dragon. She..she’s baking cookies. The blood is as comforting as it is a longing as it is hate. Jump? An instant flash of distant car lights and the sky and outlinings of the trees. An angel. I’m in hell. Who’s feeding me. You are not my mom. Why’d i think you are. Why are people having sex behind me (ina tent), my hospital bed. Voices screaming, they all are coming in through the windows to kill us . PURE horror. Tried standing up, but my legs were broken and fell instantly. A kick from a reality. Nurse’s voice. Paintings of angel’s. They creep me out now. Why do they all look the same. I never intended. Blood. i can’t conjure so i type the words i imagine i taste i have overwhelming hunger. It’s like a blanket. There was a time when i hadn’t a thing in my room that wasn’t once touched with a spatter of blood. The sheets, floors, the night sky projector still has uncleaned brown stains on it. The crazy lady tried to take my bloody hoodie away. What was not ruined by blood. I’m laying on an old bloody matress. Pain i’ve caused is my pain i can tolerate.