Unfailing Love

"Peace, rest, be still." He says it like a command, but with a gentle still voice as He holds me close, my head resting in His hand. I'm safe. I can rest. I let out a sigh of relief. No more striving or worrying, I don't have to fear, Papa's got it all under control. 

This rest feels so wonderful, one of the most amazing things I've ever felt as this strong peace washes over me, encapsulating me, consuming me. It seems so foreign to me now. When was the last time I had true lasting peace? At the same time it feels vaguely familiar like an old friend. I never want to leave this place, not ever again. I'm home, nothing to hide, nothing to fear. 

His voice comforts me, washing over me, peace, understanding, and love wrapped in each sound. It's like music to me, carrying me away to distant, wonderful places, yet not so distant now. I let His words carry me, they remind me of who I am, lift me up, make me strong, He knows me. I forget why I ever doubted, why I ever feared. 

I lay back, breathe in, breathe out. I savor each breath, every moment in His arms, I could get lost here forever. Then He looks at me, I know those eyes, such kindness and adoration. He is so confident in me and proud of me. I can tell in the way He looks at me, He does not pity me or look down on me, He sees the greatness in me, He sees how it'll all work out. Not once has He looked disappointed with me, all I see is love, pure love. I can't turn away and I just find myself gazing deeper and deeper. I look into His soul as He looks straight into mine. I do not shy away, nor do I hide, I have nothing to fear. I do not need to put up any walls He loves me fully for who I am and nothing I do can ever change that. I welcome His gaze, I trust Him. All I see, all I feel is love, it begins to take me over completely. I never want to leave my lover's gaze, this is where I belong. He sees me, who I really am, who I was made to be. He sees something in me that I have trouble even seeing in myself. He sees strength, on who never gives up.

My love smiles at me and I can't help but smile back. He seems so sure, so confident that everything will work out and be amazing, it's written all over His face. The more I look at Him the more sure I feel. He sees something I don't and I want to see what He sees. 

It is time to hope again, to dream again, this is not the end, just a beginning. When all seems lost, that's when resurrection happens, bringing life more wonderful than your wildest dreams. Lift up your head, look into eyes and know that I make all things alright. Look beyond what you see, the darkness, the despair, and look to what I see, Light. Never give up, for I know one thing is for certain, love never fails and even on the surface when it looks like it has, it keeps going and never stops, it keeps bringing life making all things new.

I put my hand to his heart, I feel it beat and I know that no distance of any kind can ever separate us, no matter how hard he might try. Even at a distance my love will seep deep inside, stir something in his heart he didn't know was there before. Love will penetrate deep inside and break all darkness away and once again he will feel, once again he will see, once again he will know love, and at last he will be free.

You're free now my love, as I always dreamed you would be. You're laughing and playing like a child again, no more darkness to hide you. You are love and all the world can see it. At last you can see who you were always meant to be, how I always saw you, wild and free.

There are many things Papa is teaching me, I realize I have so much to learn. What does it mean to really love someone like Jesus does? Do you realize how crazy we would look to the world, to everyone, even Christians if we were to really love like Him? All the religious people of Jesus day thought He was absolutely crazy to do what He did. He hung out with what they considered to be the most sinful and unclean people, the kind of people they avoided so as to not become “contaminated” by them. Jesus didn’t care, He wasn’t afraid of their sins, He knew the power of love and that His love would rub off on them. It was love that moved Jesus to miraculously feed thousands of people, raise people from the dead, and heal all sorts of disease. Love drove Him to help people even when it was inconvenient. He put other’s needs way before His own. I really want to know this kind of love, the kind of love that ultimately drove Him to give His own life and for people that would totally despise Him and reject Him. God never gave up on His people, He never gave up on humanity, no matter how much we turned against Him He still loved us. He gave all of Himself for the sake of love and He didn’t withhold anything and often He received nothing in return. The kind of pain He was willing to go through for us amazes me.

I have felt a small fraction of this intense love that the Father has for His children, how He aches and longs for them with groans so deep you can’t even describe. Yes His love is longsuffering and it can even be painful. He feels our pain and bears it with us, we mean so much to Him. He aches for us to see how loved we really are and it kills Him how so many of us continue to believe a lie that we are not worth it and are not loved. It amazes me to see the ends that love will take Him to, He will do whatever it takes for us to know His love.

I wonder sometimes what would it really look like if we were to love like Jesus loves? There is nothing I want more than to do that, to feel His heart and love with Him. It is not easy though. God has made it clear to me that this love costs everything, you can’t hold anything back you must give it all. I have to let go of all my own desires, all my fears, anything that hinders love. There is nothing more worth it. Jesus teach us how to truly love because I don’t think we have any idea what love really is, love is a lot greater and stronger and more amazing than we ever realized. It’s with love that the impossible becomes possible.

I want you, all of you, no more no less. Do you trust me? Will you come with me? Take my hand my dear, I will guide you and lead you to the life. Trust me, I will care for you, let go of all that lies behind it pales in comparison to what lies ahead.

My darling I’ve always delighted in you. My heart longs deeply for you. Not once did I turn away to look for another I never took my eyes off you. I’ve chosen you and you alone, I’ve made up my mind I will not have another, my heart belongs to you and you alone.

You say “how could you choose me!? I’m ugly, I’m worthless, unfaithful, and sinful. What can I give you I’m so unworthy! Go find another who will love you more.”

But I see something completely different, I see you. You are most beautiful my darling, stunning in every way! I can’t take my eyes off you, there is no other. You are perfect, I see no flaw, I love you just the way you are. You are a most precious treasure to me worth more than life itself, priceless.

Daddy I want to feel your heart beat.

  His heart beat is this earth and all creation, His blood, His love flows through all of it giving it life. His life breath is what we breathe. He breathed into us and we became living creatures. Apart from Him we have no life. And it is His blood coursing through our veins that gives us life. Through His blood we have life. He held nothing back, He wanted to give all Himself for us, including His blood (His very life essence). Why should He desire to hold back even a small fraction of Himself from His dearly beloved? He loves us too much, how could He! Since the foundations of the world, before the beginning of time, He chose us, in other words He committed all of Himself to us, married us. What shall ever separate us from Him!?

  The Cross is the greatest expression of love, He died to reveal that nothing could separate us from God. He took on all the lies, all the sin, all the pain, all the death everything we believed separated us from God He put to death and showed us that not one of those things could ever keep us from Him. And He showed us this in overcoming it all and defeating death, rising from the dead, nothing could separate Him from the loving arms of Daddy. Nothing could take away His true identity. Sin did not make us not Children of God anymore, we were always children of God and nothing can ever change that. We were told a lie by Satan that we weren’t already like Him, that we had to do something, for example eat of the tree of Knowledge of Good and evil then we would be like God. But we forgot that we are already like Him, we have His DNA, we are His children.

  In the beginning God chose us, His love was perfect and complete. He married us from the start. All the while we believed a lie and insisted that we were separated from God and were not worthy of His love. So we went after lesser lovers who would treat us as we thought we deserved. We made up religions where we tried to please a weak and angry god who would beat us and destroy us if we didn’t do His will perfectly. We would beat and sacrifice ourselves to “please” these god’s who didn’t even exist, we made them up in our minds because we believed we were not worthy of being loved.

  The marriage super of the lamb is not us finally pleasing God and so He marries us. No He was always married to us, but there is a great celebration when we finally realized that He was with us all along, He never divorced us, and He was married to us from the beginning. He chose us and is faithful. It doesn’t matter how unfaithful we were, we were really unfaithful to ourselves, we forgot who we are that we are one with God and in fact His children. We always were. And that doesn’t change no matter what we do or don’t do, we are always His beloved. The marriage super is when we finally stop trying to run away and we actually receive His love and realize that we are worth it. You were worth dying for, for laying His very life down. That is what He showed us on the cross, He showed us just how worth it we are to Him. We are worth dying for. You are worth dying for. This is the greatest form of love. We can no longer say that we are separated, we can no longer say we are not loved. The veil we put up is torn, realize you are face to face with God and you always have been, in fact it’s impossible to be separated from God, even in hell He is still there, we can’t get away from His love no matter how hard we try.

I have seen myself become way more bold over this past school year. I used to be terrified to even go pray for someone before, but now I'm so overcome by love I don't even think about it, it just feels so natural. It's so easy to love. Sometimes loving them looks like praying for them or healing them or doing some other crazy supernatural thing. But it can also be just as powerful to simply sit with someone and listen or to hold them as they cry and just be there comforting them. It can even be as simple as a hug or smile. When it's done out of love the simplest things can make the biggest difference in someones life. Love is what transforms people and sets them free. At the same time all those things can be done without love and actually do more harm than good, 1 Corinthians 13 is actually really beginning to make sense to me now. 

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. (ESV)

Hey everyone! I know I haven't posted in a while so much has been happening in my life! For the past school year I have been attending GCSSM (Global Celebration School of Supernatural Ministry). While here I have learned so much of who I am and my calling, I've become way more bold then I would have ever imagined I would be, I'm not afraid anymore to be myself, and finally I believe my dreams are possible, so I have begun dreaming and pursuing those dreams. In the past few months I have also gone on a few international as well as local missions and ministry trips and I can honestly say I'm not the same after them. God stirred my heart for those people, for the poor, the broken, the needy. I've seen Jesus in them and I can't go back. I'm honestly addicted to loving people  and traveling and going to the poorest of the poor. So that's what I will do! 

Yes you may die daily, but as much as you die so will you overcome. Those who go through the most pain will know the greatest of joy. the ones who have fallen the lowest will rise the highest. Out of the darkness and into the light. Don't despise suffering and sorrows, they are a part of life. It's not because I want to see you suffer, but I want to see you, my child, overcome as I did. I want to raise you to be like me. You have suffered and died with me so you may rise and reign with me and share in my glory.

I was hanging out with my brother yesterday and we were reading some Bible passages together he asked if there was anything I wanted to read from. Immediately the Spirit gave me a scripture reference, which is the way reading the Bible with Him has been lately, He'll just give me a specific book, chapter, and verse, and I'll get wrecked even though a lot of them are weird verses, but it's so fun!! The scripture reference He gave me this time was John 2:3, I didn't share this with my brother though because I had no idea what the verse was about. Today I decided to look up the verse and here's what it says "When the wine ran out Yeshua's mother said to Him, "They don't have any wine!" hahaha Okay so I love that the verse Jesus gave me was about wine. Jesus is all about joy, He loves parties! especially weddings, it's a perfect picture of our relationship with Him. Jesus has just kept bringing up this wine thing, the wedding feast with Him, His blood is our wine!!! and I love how in this verse Mary goes to Jesus to say that they are out of wine! He hadn't even started His ministry yet and He was just a guest at the party, it wasn't His problem that the wine ran out. When I was talking with Jesus about this verse I could tell He got a kick out of it! He's like "I just love her faith!!" and Jesus response is pretty awesome. At first He says to her "Woman, what does this have to do with you and Me? My hour hasn't come yet." but then she says to the servants, "Do whatever He tells you." Then what does Jesus do!? He finds these six huge jugs used for ritual purification He tells them to fill the jugs with water and they take some of the water and bring it to the headwaiter and it was wine! the best wine!! aaaah! I just love Jesus hahaha it's funny how much God touched me from this verse wow! There's always more than enough and the very best found in Him! Jesus is our wine! He fills us with endless bliss! He fills us with laughter and singing! hahaha we get to be totally drunk off the sweetest wine of Jesus Himself! How wonderful!!