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The train is packed, and your large, pregnant belly is trapped amongst countless other bodies in the crowd when you first feel the hand.
It's subtle at first, just barely brushing against your backside as if to test your reaction. You know you should feel outraged that someone would dare touch a stranger on the train, let alone a pregnant one, but their fingers are gentle, and you're honestly starved for contact. So you don't say anything. You keep your gaze fixed firmly ahead, silently waiting to see what they will do next.
The stranger wastes no time in growing bolder, the hand sliding over the curve of your ass and rubbing it almost appreciatively. They shift from one cheek to the other, cautiously testing the shape of it before giving your bottom a careful squeeze.
It's enough to steal the breath from your lungs. Who are they? You know you should be protesting, should be drawing away, should be calling them out for the impropriety, but it feels so good. As shameful as it is to admit it, you don't want them to stop.
So you keep standing there, your arms wrapped protectively around your swollen abdomen, and continue letting them fondle you.
It takes everything you've got not to cry out when that hand dips between your legs, cupping you where you so desperately want to be touched. No one's touched you like this since the night you got knocked up, and your body craves pleasure like your lungs crave air. You can feel the flush creeping up your neck and face when their fingers start to move, following the line of your growing arousal before beginning to stroke you right through your trousers.
You lose track of the crowd, of the stops, of the lurching motions of the train. All you can think about is the way those fingers are pleasuring you right here in the open while you have no idea who they belong to.
You want to lean back into them and breathlessly beg them to keep going. You want to unbuckle your trousers and let them slide their hands beneath the fabric to touch you directly. You want to invite them back to your place to finish the job, to bend you over your bed and pound your greedy hole until you can't see straight to make up for all these sexless months.
You want--
The train jerks to a stop at what can only be the main station. The hand between your legs tries to draw away as the crowd begins to disperse, but you instinctively squeeze your legs together to trap it in place. "My stop's next," you frantically whisper, hoping against hope that they can hear you over the din. "Follow me home? Please?"
There's no verbal response, but those glorious fingers begin moving again, and that's good enough for now.
You can't help but let out a soft whimper, spreading your thighs just a little bit farther apart. This definitely isn't the best decision you've ever made, but right now, you don't know if you can be bothered enough to care.
So I'm obsessed with demon impregnates Christian religious figures, or anyone really. But my brain has also been buzzing with other kind of religious/folklore preg. Like:
-traveling priests in rural Asian territories get impregnated by vengeful spirits they couldn't banish
-high priest(ess) gets impregnated by a competing god. What would their own god do if they found out their own priestess spread their legs for a different god?
-impregnated by a Fae. Enough said
-sailor who doesn't believe in mythical beings ends up being a breeder to mermaids or a kraken etc
-summoning some kind of devil figure to make a deal, ends up they want the human to carry their baby
-bred by a local crypid but no one believes its an inhuman thing in there
-rumors say the ancient enemies on the battlefield are being led by a demigod. Turns out they are indeed, part god... and they take an enemy to be their breeder of giant, godly children
-the gods are furious at someone's hubris and give them their choice of tortures. "Serving" the gods sounds like the least strenuous, but turns out their idea of servitude involves a full womb
-the classic "human sacrifice gets bred instead of dead"
I dunno man, I just have a lot of god/demon/cryptid preg on my brain
oooooooh. not much to add rn, just comments on the ones above:
- missionaries in asian territories is INTERESTING. trying to preach to a bunch of nonbelievers when the beings you insist they shouldn’t believe in are rounding out your belly
- the myth of medusa but horny tbh
- getting caught up in the Wild Hunt and used as a fucktoy by an archfey, ending up with a belly full of rambunctious changeling children. having to explain to the village midwife/wise person what happened. getting sensitivities to the sidhe’s weaknesses (iron, salt, etc) and cravings for honey, wild blackberries, the finest wines.
- mermaids leading an endangered species protection and repopulation initiative for the atlantic kraken. big squirmy belly
- so my bf and i. have had a faustus/mephistopheles fixation for a few years. Christopher Marlowe is sleeping easy in his grave with this one.
- this one’s just me. no matter how much you try to prove my existence, or even the fact that the young in your belly are tiny versions of me, the photos (and ultrasounds) always come out a bit too blurry.
- demigod genghis khan type figure who just knocks up as many wives and malewives and concubines as he can and let’s them form their own society where he’s barely present except for occasionally returning with new recruits
- your womb becomes the gods’ playground, where they create weird new creatures and monsters to unleash on those that displease them. a hero on a quest from a dissenting, merciful god is tasked with setting you free
Shinto teaches that there are spirits in the forest: tiny, small, medium, etc.
Make one annoyed and suddenly it wants to know the human experience.
Fallen valkyries who seek redemption in another life
Pass by a purity gate but you didn't prepare yourself? Not so pure, now.
Esoteric Christianity where people observe Jesus as a fertility demi-god. He grants blessings. Whoops.
Imagine being fucked by a succubus and their lustful aura sticking with you for the rest of the day.
Walking in public, people can’t help but grope you and drag you into a nearby alley to fuck you full of their own seed. You let yourself be taken by strangers everywhere you go, the demonic cum festering inside you having turned you into a desperate whore. Milking cocks of all their cum is all you want. You barely make it a couple steps before someone pulls down your pants and starts fucking you again.
The strangest part is no one seems to care about the public fucking. Whatever demon magic within you has made the occurrence of getting fucked and filled over and over something as mundane as waiting for the bus. That is to say, no one batted an eye as you came once more around some strangers cock.
By the time you get home, your clothes are utterly ruined. Underwear, long since discarded. Your pants and inner thighs are covered in dried cum. You rub your legs together, distraught. You had tried to be so good and keep all the cum inside, but alas. You’ll have to remember to bring a plug with you tomorrow.
Your shirt faired no better, it’s covered in sweat and digging into your belly from how bloated with cum you’ve become. It almost seems to sway with the thick fertile semen freely sitting inside.
Your succubus just laughs at how “used” you look before bending you over and breeding you full again.
- Evil
ASFSADHHSF I LOVE THIS.
I love free use and the idea of being a public fucktoy for people to get off in. You don't need demon magic, draining cocks is all I want NOW!!
I also love the "your succubus" bit, like I have my own succubus that I come home to every day that pesters my dreams.
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scrolling horny tumblr when im not horny is like powerwalking around at an orgy, stepping over the writhing naked bodies, searching for any shiny objects that may be scattered round the area and may potentially be used to trade for higher level gear or potions of some kind
fucking trannies has you doing shit you'd never think of. impulses arise from an alternate dimension where there are no questions and the only answer is "just fucking do whatever man you don't even have to cum"
you get a good grade in transgender sex if at some point over the course of having sex you think "am i even having sex right now. does this count as sex". which btw the answer is always yes if you're horny enough
ive been thinking about this and legitimately its just that its fucking human like yeah who knows what fucking murky psychological ooze your particular girl on girl feelings arise from but (for example) you think oh i wanna sniff this girls pits and you're not in to pits and she's not in to pits and in a vacuum this might even gross you out but you sniff the girls pits and you both go aww :) or you both go aww >:3c or whatever the fuck and regardless its cute and its nice and its intimate and even if the specific act does nothing for you sexually its still horny because its a connection that doesn't have to force it's way thru the multiple layers of social bullshit that you have to heft around and place between you and everyone else to survive as a tranny in a world you're not supposed to be a tranny in and both you and this girl get to finally just be fucking animals without producing yourself for the consensus of people who want you either dead or perfect. bite her fucking tits
I now firmly believe “bite her fucking tits” is the only valid way to end rants on trans intimacy. It’s the universal love language of unhinged trans girls.
The thing about massive business self-owns like New Coke, is that no one believes they're doing it.
One of the criteria of a "New Coke" is to blindingly believe you're doing the right thing.
Jobs killing the Macintosh clones, New Coke, the Yahoo! rebrand, and the Unity thing are in the top 5.
We'll see if this pans out.
So way back in 2019, @seananmcguire and @tkingfisher (and also later @kbspangler) got into a whole poetry/rap battle involving the poor Mari Lwyd (played by Seanan) just trying to get some cheese from Ursula's stores. This went on for a few years, and I can't find transcribed sources, only screenshots.
So, with X/Twitter being What It Is, I wanted a text source to exist. CW for food, alcohol, and all the caps, and full credit to the authors. If you want the original source it's here.
Seanan:
WE'RE HERE TO SAY PLEASE
WON'T YOU GIVE US SOME CHEESE
SOME CHEESE AND SOME BRANDY OR PORT.
THIS FESTIVE HORSE SKULL
HAS BEEN SHOVED ON A POLE
SO GRANT ME YOUR FINEST RETORT.
Ursula:
BEGONE WITH YOUR POLE
(YOU CAN LEAVE THE NEAT SKULL)
DEMANDING MY FOOD IS EXTORTION
FOR CHEESE IS QUITE DEAR
AND WILL BE WORSE NEXT YEAR
AND I CAN’T SPARE YOU EVEN A PORTION
Seanan:
IF IT'S HEAD FOR A HEAD,
I COULD TAKE YOURS INSTEAD,
THAT SEEMS LIKE A TRADE THAT'S QUITE FAIR
BUT DECAPITATION
REQUIRES CONTEMPLATION,
I'D RATHER THAT CHEESE OVER THERE.
Ursula:
YOU COME ‘ROUND WITH THE BITS
OF A HORSE THAT IS QUITS
DEMANDING I GIVE YOU MY CHEDDAR
BUT HEY, YOU HAVE SAID,
AT LEAST IT’S NOT MY HEAD—
I’M SUPPOSED TO THINK THIS IS BETTER!?
Seanan:
I AM NOT A QUITTER,
NO NEED TO BE BITTER,
AND I'D TAKE YOUR GOUDA OR BRIE.
YOU ASKED FOR MY HEAD,
THINKING THAT SINCE I'M DEAD
YOU COULD JUST KIDNAP PIECES OF ME.
I HAVE INFINITE TIME
AND THE PATIENCE TO RHYME
AND I'LL STAND HERE LIMITLESSLY.
Ursula:
AND WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT
ON NOT-QUITE-LONGEST-NIGHT
TO MAKE FREE WITH OTHER PEOPLE’S CHEESES?
YOU THINK ‘COS YOU SHOW
WITH A WEIRD SKULL IN TOW
IT CAN ASK FOR WHATEVER IT PLEASES?
Seanan:
THAT'S JUST WHAT I THINK,
GIVE ME CHEESE, GIVE ME DRINK,
AND I'LL NO MORE CAST DARK ON YOUR DOOR.
I'M NO TINSEL OR TREE,
I'M CELEBRATORY
OF SURVIVAL ON HEATH AND IN MOOR.
Ursula:
THERE’S NO HEATH AND NO MOOR
BETWEEN HERE AND THE SHORE
I COULD MAYBE GET YOU A BOG
IN LIEU OF MY BRIE
WHICH I’M HOARDING FOR ME
WHAT IF—LOOK, SEANAN! A FROG!
Seanan:
THAT WAS JUST DIRTY POOL,
AND YOU KNOW THERE'S NO RULE
THAT SAYS I CAN'T LEAVE AND COME BACK.
NOW THERE'S MUD ON MY SHOES
I WON'T LET YOU REFUSE
THIS FESTIVE DIGESTIVE ATTACK.
Ursula:
ALL’S FAIR, SO THEY SAY
WHEN CHEESE IS IN PLAY
ALTHOUGH I ADMIT TO DECEPTION
WHILE YOU CHASED A FROG
I SCARFED THAT CHEESE LOG
AT PERSONAL COST TO DIGESTION
Seanan:
THEN I'LL COME FOR YOUR BOOZE
I'M NOT LONGING TO LOSE,
AND THIS IS THE HOLIDAY SEASON.
I'LL STAND HERE AND SING
AS THE MORRIS BELLS RING
AND YOUR GUTS CONTEMPLATE CHOOSING TREASON.
Ursula:
I’VE NO BRANDY NOR GIN
THE SCOTCH STORES ARE THIN
BUT OF A SOLUTION I’M THINKIN’
THIS HOUSE’S LIBATION
AGAVE’S CREATION
WILL NEVERTHELESS GET YOU STINKIN’
IF IT’S BOOZE THAT YOU’RE FOR
BONE HORSE FROM THE MOOR
IT’S TEQUILA THAT WE WILL BE DRINKIN’
Seanan:
WE'LL GET HAMMERED LIKE BOARDS
WHEN THE LIQUOR GETS POURED,
THEY'LL ASSEMBLE US LIKE WE'RE IKEA.
THERE ARE WORSE THINGS TO DO
THAN START DRINKING WITH YOU.
I'M SO HAPPY THAT I CAME TO SEE YA.
Ursula:
I LOVE EVERY ENTITY IN THIS BAR
*falls down*
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On this day one year ago, I was fired from Crumbl Cookies because my grandfather suddenly died and I cried when I found out and was on the clock. They make you sign a waiver to not talk about the recipes that lasts one year after your termination. Well guess what babes. That day, is today. RIP Nanu, you’ve been missed. But for anyone who likes the Chocolate Chip Cookies or the Iced Sugar Cookies, check out the recipes in the links. Feel free to ask about other recipes, it’s been a year but some things are just reskinned versions of these lol. Good Luck and Happy Baking.
Edit: Here is a Master List of all the recipes I have been able to remember thus far; I will be updating it as I am able!
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