Bollywood Recaps

Once they finish eye-sexing each other, they get a proper introduction. Prem’s Bro is getting engaged to Nisha’s Sis 

Sis gets a warm welcome into her new household

Here, we finally meet the star of the film: Tuffy

Everyone loves this fluffy casanova ... some even try to be as cool as him

As the marriage approaches, everyone’s getting into the swing of things. Even Nisha’s parents are setting the mood right

Not ones to miss out on the action, Prem and Nisha turn up the heat ... by competing to steal Bro’s shoes. Yes, you read that right (oh 90′s romance). Whoever steals the groom’s shoes first, gets a shitload of $$

Amidst all this romancing, we finally get time for Bro and Sis

But now that we’re done with that shiz, it’s back to the important stuff: romance, pyaar. Show ‘em how it’s done, Prem

Which, of course, means time for song #143 (after the intro song, pre-engagement/ engagement song, shoe-stealing sex song, and marriage song)

Giving the audience what they forcibly want, Nisha dances to song #144. She uses Sis’s baby shower (that was fast) to show the single men her fertile hips 

Unable to resist, Prem crashes the shower ... and gets it on

But this family film’s going to kick it up another notch

... with a spicy, spicy private dinner

While the house is miraculously empty, Prem and Nisha do the mambo ... or whatever this is 

Just as we’re about to break all the chaste 90′s Bollywood rules ...

Sis gives birth! 

Caught up in the joy, Prem and Nisha confess their “secret” relationship to Sis. They all celebrate (how else? with a song)

Until Sis fatally trips ... well, this took a dark turn 

Unfortunately, doctors are unable to save her. Bro mourns deeply, but gets his priorities in order

The families decide to get Nisha hitched to Bro, so that the baby will have a mom (makes sense ...). Nisha only hears the groom’s last name and agrees, thinking she’s marrying Prem. What the - what? 

Prem and Nisha decide to go along with it. Because a) self-sacrificing, b) self-sacrificing (welcome to Bollywood)

But, not to fear: our fearless canine has had enough of this shiz

Tuffy takes one of Prem & Nisha’s love letters to Bro, who tells the fam

No one can believe this “secret” (really? really?). But a quick wedding switcheroo solves everyone’s dilemma

Except for Bro ... who still hasn’t heard of a nanny

He-llooo A .. oh wait, where was I? Right. Back to the recap

Hot on A's trail is Inspector Jai, who - let's face it - isn't as easy on the eyes

Jai has been stalking tracking A's movements and wants to learn all about him

But A still manages to elude the police. So Jai rounds up the troops ... which includes a certain buxom lady

The urgent hunt for A begins! But not before a flirty song sequence ... 

Did I mention Jai is married? Oh yeah 

After getting the sexual tension out of the way, the cops finally get down to chasing A ... who isn't thrilled

He even finds an impostor pretending to be A during one of his robberies, and is not amused

Until he discovers the babe under the gear

Meet Sunehri: sexy, brain dead, and split personality sufferer

Sunehri tells A that she followed him to become as good of a thief as him (always nice to have goals in life)

But A is reluctant to trust the bimbo stranger. So, Sunehri returns to her day ... err evening job

Dancing at a club, she comes across A ... but will she recognize him without the mask?

Nope. Stared him right in the eyes, and still nothing

A decides to generously give her another chance

But poor Sunehri's brain still fails her. So A reveals his identity and challenges her to basketball. (If you're looking for logic - don't. Just keep reading)

Her impressive (?) bball skills are enough to convince A to trust her. But he may have made a grave mistake

Sunehri is in cahoots with the police! She meets Jai in a super private movie theater ... where he demands she set a trap for A

Sunheri tags along with A to his next big steal, in Brazil. And the Indian police follow ... because they obviously have jurisdiction there 

Oh look, who is this handsome new addition to the police team?

No one cares. Trust me, it's better if I don't introduce him

In A's Brazilian hideaway, he wonders why anyone would be stupid brave enough to stay with him

He begins lessons in Thief 101, which apparently include how to use the internet

And leaping off cliffs

Sunehri is already smitten with the handsome robber ... much to Jai's dismay

The cops aren't discreet enough though (shocking) and A discovers Sunehri conspiring with Jai

He puts on a happy-ish face, feigning ignorance

Will he retaliate? Will he forgive?

Not before another timely dance sequence!

But the brief reprieve is over ... 

A confronts Sunehri about her ties to the police

As payback, he forces Sunehri into playing Russian Roulette

Round by round, they have to fire the gun - which only has one bullet - until one of them dies

Unable to bear the stress thought of shooting A, Sunehri turns the gun on herself

Not to worry! The crafty thief actually slipped the bullet out from the gun. Impressed by Sunehri's actions, he forgives her

Nothing says romance like a dose of mental torture ...

Unfortunately, the police launch a high speed chase - sending dozens of helicopters and cars after two robbers ... sure, ok

Just when the cops are about to arrest them, Sunehri shoots A after he says he'd rather die than face prison

Jai is frustrated (and probably about get his ass fired). But he hasn't given up hope -- he frees Sunehri and secretly follows her to a very alive A!

Uh oh, looks like it's jail for real this time

Surely the Inspector wouldn't let them go after spending months and endless police funds hunting them down?

But he does ... why? Love

Don't ask questions. Just go with it

So the lovebirds live happily ever after and Inspector Jai presumably loses his job (... or does he?)