identity is a scam essence is a need

A weighted blanket isn’t enough I need to be vacuum sealed

Man I miss free the nipple. Its getting warmer and we don’t even have free the nipple anymore

#they look like theyve been having a chat about u and u just walked in

happy one year anniversary to the time i was in vermont in a dorm with a carbon monoxide leak and jacked off to this painting

i tend not to take museum photos of things unless i think i can take a good one, and this was in a glass case so it had a lot of glare, but the sargent exhibit at the met has the only know photograph of madame x before he repainted the shoulder strap and seeing that for the first time in my life made me feel like my body was made of static

Please keep interacting with this post because when I come to tumblr to procrastinate, this shows up again in my notifications and guilts me into writing again

if im careful i could whittle this peanut into sonic

[lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-

DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS POST??? IM IN LAW SCHOOL THIS POST IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE

reblog to ruin a law student’s life

Hi. I’m a trial attorney now and every last one of you is a motherfucker.

I love my job, but reblogging employment jelly for someone else I love.