it doesn't matter to cats what kind of bad week you're going through, they'll come into your room and start doing repeated bulldozer attacks on you

Had a dream that markiplier was struck by lightning and imbued with electrical abilities. People were encouraging him to use his powers for good but he just went back to playing videogames. All the videos were about three minutes long because as soon as he got jumpscared there'd be a brilliant blue flash and he'd fry his computer.

penis in mouth is one of the classic places

i remember when i first heard the phrase suck my dick i thiught it was like a joke because nobody on earth would actually do that.... thats where the pee comes from... grossss........ and then i found out about blowjobs and i was like WHATTTT EWWWW. and then i hit puberty and got like hormones and shit and i was like Well hold on hold on.... lets hear them out

it doesn't matter to cats what kind of bad week you're going through, they'll come into your room and start doing repeated bulldozer attacks on you

I’m sorry I support all jokes but cave johnson would not be supportive of trans women

Due to a recent accident in the labs, the boys downstairs have found a way to turn men into women. Amazing breakthrough, and we wish you all luck on your transition. And your job hunt. You’re all fired. Sorry boys, nothing against you. We just don’t need women around here trying to clean up the lab while the men are trying to do real work. Cave out.

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”