Roo's Room

(this is a work of ddlg fiction. all characters are consenting adults!!!! also, i have no idea what pop stars’ managers actually do. it’s probably not change their diapers oops

also yall, why did i tear up writing this? i want a daddy so badly, i guess the yearning just came bubbling out)

“this is the biggest show you’ve ever played,” gracie’s tour manager logan said, striding into her dressing room. he was holding a packet of her favorite strawberry lemonade electrolytes. she hadn’t even asked for them, yet here he was: always knowing exactly what she needed before she even asked.

“how many people?” gracie asked as she scrutinized herself in the vanity mirror, touching up the makeup under her eyes.

“close to 25,000.”

gracie shot logan a look. “no fucking way.”

“language.” logan said back.

it was an inside joke between them. logan was quite a bit older than gracie. a grumpy bearded man in his 40s who saw gracie as somewhat of a daughter figure.

the first time he’d heard the 20-something year old old cuss on set, he’s instinctively grumbled, “language.”

now, he still said it, but with that teasing gravely voice that gracie loved so much.

he was technically employed as her manager. in charge of booking events and managing her schedule and making sure her team was where they needed to be. but he really did so much more than that. he kept her steady. he made her laugh. he took care of her on set, protected her.

logan was also the only one on her team that knew about gracie’s little secret. what she was currently wearing under her sparkly little silver dress.

“here, you need to stay hydrated.” logan said, dumping the electrolyte packet into a plastic water bottle and shaking it up for her.

“thanks.”

“you nervous at all?” he asked, as gracie accepted the water bottle and took a long sip. then she cleared her throat.

“just the usual amount of nerves. it never exactly goes away.” she stood up, shimmying back and forth in her slinky little dress. “you can’t tell, right?” gracie asked logan with a knowing look.

he knew what she was asking.

“bend over.” he said, his voice commanding and casual.

she bent.

he knelt behind her, hands going under her skirt to adjust the bloomers under the dress, hiding her padding. his hands were warm and big and practiced. she trusted them completely. and secretly…she liked feeling them on her.

“all clear.” he said, patting her padded butt through the dress. “no one will know a thing.”

“thank you.” she said breathlessly. “and logan?”

he looked up at her from where he knelt on the ground, hands still on the back of her thighs. his eyes were so kind, his touch so familiar.

“what is it? you okay, kiddo?”

she simultaneously felt tethered and untethered to him. he was keeping her grounded, but he was also unraveling her with his every move.

“thank you for everything you do for me.”

logan cracked a crooked smile. “of course, kiddo. it’s almost like they pay me to do it.”

they both laughed, but gracie felt a little embarassed by her earnestness. of course. this was logan’s job. he didn’t bring her electrolytes and ask her how she was feeling and check her diaper for god’s sake just because he wanted to. it was his literal job.

“right right, of course.” gracie said, swallowing her embarrassment. she could feel her cheeks blushing. “well, i should go get in position.”

“we’ve still got some time,” logan said, checking his watch.

gracie shook her head. “i want to go early. like you said, big show. i need to get in the right headspace.”

she left logan kneeling in the dressing room, while she hurried off to her position under the stage.

for 25,000 people in the crowd, the show was pretty uneventful. gracie hit her marks. she sang the songs she’d written in her bedroom years ago. she performed the role of the charming yet courteous, personable pop star.

she was used to this act.

but there was one person she couldn’t act in front of.

the show ended with silver confetti blasting into the crowd, and gracie waving and smiling as she walked off stage.

sweaty and sore and exhausted after performing, she headed backstage, ignoring the cheers and compliments of the rest of her team. they were lovely, but they weren’t what she needed right now. they weren’t who she needed.

backstage was a flurry of colors and people and muffled sounds. sets being moved and disassembled, technical crew running back and forth to take down the show.

somebody accidentally jostled gracie, bumping her hard in the waist. she tensed up.

her waist hurt, and she suddenly became aware of the soggy diaper underneath her dress. she wanted it off. she wanted everything off.

she felt overwhelmed as she made her unsteady way back to her dressing room. overwhelmed from the chaos of backstage, and over-exhausted from the show she just put on.

her head swam. her throat thickened.

god, where was he?! he always met her right after her shows. and now, she felt alone and unsteady and…lost. she felt like a lost little girl alone in the crowd.

gracie’s lip quivered and fat tears started to fall as she finally got to her dressing room and swung the door open.

logan was standing there, by the changing table, a fresh diaper in his hands. his eyes met her, and it was like something immediately clicked.

“oh, gracie.” he said, dropping the diaper and running over to her. he immediately held her, and she melted into his arms, holding him like an anchor in a stormy sea. “what’s wrong, sweet girl?” he asked gently.

she sobbed into his chest, overwrought with emotion. and now logan’s arms were around her and she overwhelmingly felt at home.

she let herself cry ugly, slobbering, messy tears. because she knew logan had already seen her at her most vulnerable. she trusted him with every part of herself.

she squeezed him tighter, breathing in his familiar smell. her tears soaked into his t-shirt, but she didn’t care. all she cared about was being in his arms.

“daddy.” she sobbed, the word slipping out before she’d even thought it. but she felt it with her entire being. it wasn’t anything she could explain away. and she hoped she wouldn’t need to explain it.

logan paused. she felt him pause. she felt the tension in his whole body from hearing that one word. then, he relaxed. like a wave of acceptance.