cozy up when you can

AAA video game publisher voice: "Look. The goose layed a golden egg, and that's nice! Everyone loved that egg. But keeping the golden goose means paying for bird feed and I don't want to, so I killed the goose."

When I stay up late the night before and my alarm goes off in the morning it's like 10-15 minutes of trying to wake up and also be asleep by trading off which eye is open and which eye is closed as my body tries to get comfortable to go back to bed. Feels like a 1 and a half against 1 fight

took acid on new years as per tradition and me and my sister got really into the concept of an origami crane folded out of a pizza so precisely and beautifully that it "shames our hatred". like all acts of human cruelty are shamed by the perspective that its beauty provides. we called it pizza crane

costco should sell weed i want to smoke kirkland signature strain

i think we should start openly mocking male creatives who can't figure out how to write women. like actually i think it's embarrassing that it took elliot page transitioning for christopher nolan to give him a good role. why did it take like ten years to get the first female lead in a marvel movie? why is it a Known Fact that stephen king can't write women? why is 50% of the population omitted from large ensemble works? i asked my friend to name a movie directed by a man with a majority female cast and he said ghostbusters 2016. ghostbusters. ghostbusters. g

i love people so much that im trying to be one myself. its a bit crazy, i know…

I like volcanoes because there’s nothing you can do about it.

*torturing you* dude trust me, something really cool happens. you just have to reflect on it for a bit. i'm doing this because i want you to reach your full potential okay?